Tag Archives: Paul Heyman

Oct 28

WWE Hell in a Cell: What Should Happen vs. What Will Happen

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Halloween Contest Runner Up 2012 Will Defend His WWE Title- Photo from Wikimedia

Welcome back one and all to an irregular feature here at Blade Jobs of Steel. With a major PPV coming up this Sunday, it is time to look at the event from both the critical and prophetic eye that all smarky wrestling fans same to have. We will look at the event and examine what (probably) will happen according to current WWE logic and trends and compare it to what, in our humblest of opinions, should happen.

This event has been one of the most talked about non-big four event in recent memory. It looked like the company was set to give the epic multi-year Punk-Cena feud a great showdown inside their ultimate blowoff gimmick match. Instead, Cena’s elbow gets injured and they pull a substitute. Instead of taking an established name like Randy Orton or pull out a lovable veteran like Mick Foley, the company decided to take a big gamble and trust relative newcomer, Ryback, into the top billing. Ryback has been booked as an unstoppable monster, so the question seems obvious, which do they value more, their new star or the longest running title reign in six years? Is Punk-Rock set for the Royal Rumble, or could Ryback-Rock be more engaging? Add in the fact that we have an apparent resurgence in both the tag team and intercontinental divisions and an intriguing big man showdown for the World Title, and we have ourselves some very interesting possibilities.

The card order will be in the order of what SHOULD happen, with some discussions as to what will happen along the way.

YouTube Pre-Show
John Cena Speaks

What SHOULD Happen: Cena takes questions from fans, announces that he has recovered from his injury. Paul Heyman interrupts and the two have a dueling promo which ends with Heyman reminding Cena that he’s never beaten Punk and so he had better hope that Ryback wins or else he’s not getting another sniff at the title. He then goes on about how much it must upset poor Vince McMahon to have a Paul Heyman guy hold the belt for so long, and that Vinnie Mac had best get used to it.

What WILL Happen: Cena takes forever to announce that he’ll be at ringside for the Main Event. Nothing else of consequence takes place.

Match #1
Kofi Kingston vs. The Miz
Intercontinental Title  Match

 What SHOULD Happen: These two have yet another fun, fast paced match to get the crowd going. Lots of near falls make both men look great and Kofi Kingston hits the Trouble in Paradise out of nowhere to get the win. Both men move on to new feuds starting on Monday. As Kingston is celebrating we cut to the back and see Sheamus lying backstage having clearly been attacked.

What WILL Happen: That sounds about right there, although both men getting new feuds may not happen exactly as hoped, and the part about Sheamus seems unlikely.

Match #2
Randy Orton vs. Alberto Del Rio

 What SHOULD Happen: Randy Orton finds his 2011 workrate and these two tear the house down. Alberto wins after the Prime Time Players interfere to both hype their match on Main Event, to potentially set them up as allies for Del Rio, and more importantly to frustrate Orton enough to potentially turn heel down the line.

What WILL Happen: Orton wins in a relatively one-sided match that gets maybe 8 minutes.

Impromptu Match/Segment #1

What SHOULD Happen: Rey Mysterio and Sin Cara vs. The Prime Time Players - Immediately after the PTPs help Del Rio win, the luchadores run down to save Orton. Teddy Long interrupts the pull apart brawl to book the match. After some back and forth action, Orton interferes and lets Rey and Cara win, but the dishonesty doesn’t sit well with Rey.

What WILL Happen: The same match is booked at the last minute but it ends with the luchadores winning totally cleanly and with no reference to the six-man tag scheduled for this week.

Match #3
Sheamus vs. Big Show
World Heavyweight Title Match

What SHOULD Happen: Big Show takes a microphone before the match and wishes Sheamus a speedy recovery. He says that a lot of guys backstage were with him when Sheamus got jumped so he has no idea who it was. The two have a good match but Sheamus is still clearly injured from his earlier attack. Eventually Show connects with the WMD and wins. Ziggler comes out to tease a cash in, but decides to run off and leave Show to celebrate.

What WILL Happen: Sheamus retains, Ziggler runs out and eats a Brogue Kick for his troubles.

Match #4
Eve vs. Kaitlyn vs. Layla
WWE Divas Title  Match

What SHOULD Happen: These three compete in a back and forth match. Kaitlyn gets the upper hand and looks poised to win, Eve then heelishly steals a pin on Layla to put heat on a match for next month.

What WILL Happen: That actually seems likely, does it not?

Impromptu Match/Segment #2

What SHOULD Happen: US Title Match: Antonio Cesaro vs. Justin Gabriel – The two have a heated back and forth match. Gabriel climbs up top to set up for the 450 Splash when Aksana grabs his leg allowing Cesaro to get the US Title Belt and hit Gabriel in the face, knocking him out of the ring in a nasty bump and getting disqualified in the process. Ta-da! Big US Title feud going forward.
What WILL Happen: Either a very long Cena promo or that same match with a clean win for Cesaro.
Match #5
Team Hell No vs. Rhodes Scholars
WWE Tag Team Title Match
 What SHOULD Happen: After a very competitive match, Kane chokeslams one of the two, Bryan tags in, hits a diving head but for the win. While they are arguing over who is the tag team champions, the Rhodes Scholars look to each other and say that it’s time for Plan B with Cody saying they should have gone with it from the start.
What WILL Happen: Team Hell No will retain and argue, they are way too hot to not be champions at this point. Rhodes Scholars can win the title next month when the team finally does explode.
Match #6
CM Punk vs. Ryback
WWE Title Match
What SHOULD Happen: Brace yourself, this one will be a bit long and fantasy booky…
John Cena joins the announce table and spends the match putting over how great of a champion Punk is and how Ryback has got to be the person who can end this reign, especially since Heyman is looked out of the Cell.
Punk fares decent against Ryback, but of course he cannot compete with Big Hungry’s strength. Ryback throws Punk all around the Cell and looks ready to finish him.
When the match seems dire, Heyman waves his hands and yells out “NOW!”. Suddenly Damien Sandow and Cody Rhodes jump from the crowd carrying bolt cutters. They hit Cena with them, knocking him out.  All of this distracts Ryback and Punk tries to crawl away. Ryback starts to chase him when all of sudden, Big Show erupts from under the Ring (just like his debut with the company). He and Ryback stare at one another and start to duke it out.
Meanwhile Sandow and Rhodes are able to open the Cell, and jump in with Heyman. Heyman pulls out another chain to lock them back in while Sandow and Rhodes go and attack Ryback. The three men are able to take him down long enough for Punk to come and score the pin, retaining the title.
We have a new super heel stable established and potentially a huge five-on-five Survivor Series match in Punk-Show-Sandow-Rhodes-Lesnar vs. Cena-Ryback-Sheamus-Kane-Bryan. Tell me you wouldn’t pay to see that?
What WILL Happen: Honestly, this is the toughest match to predict in a very long time. There is a huge amount of money in Punk-Rock at the Rumble, and there doesn’t seem to be a plan for Ryback to face anyone at Wrestlemania. This logically implies that Punk will leave with the title, however Ryback needs to look strong. Perhaps some sort of stunted no contest with either Punk falling into the ring like Mick Foley, or maybe even having the Cell collapse on them or something equally strange. Either way, Ryback will look like a monster and Punk will leave with the title.
They of course open the cell.
May 11

Weekly Plus/Minus: Paul Heyman on RAW, Braden Holtby is Made of Rubber, Fatal Four-Way, Some People are Jerks, and MORE!!!

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Welcome back to our weekly look at the boons and busts in the world of hockey and professional wrestling! Three of the four Conference finalists have been set, with the last series going seven games. Monday Night RAW got a huge surprise when Paul Heyman showed up and delivered an amazing promo, and a ton more happened!

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Braden Holtby is Made of Rubber: Why you ask? Well because he always bounces back!

Holtby’s numbers coming off of a loss are simply insane. After his great performance in Game 6 against the Rangers, he is 9-0 after losing a game. This is simply insane, how can you be so good to have not lost two games in a row?

Add to the fact that the last six of those wins have been against the New York Rangers or the Boston Bruins during these playoffs. Right now, George MacPhie looks like a genius for trading Varlamov for a 1st and 2nd round draft pick, and for not panicking when Vokoun and Neuvirth were not getting it done earlier. Obviously we need to wait and see if he’ll turn out more like Ken Dryden or more like Jim Carey, but it’s very fun to watch right now.

Phony Press Conferences with Greg Jamison: Seriously, what is going on in Glendale?

The NHL announces a Press Conference and it seems like we finally have a local owner in Arizona, who can keep the team there…right? Well not so fast. It later gets turned into a “Media Availability Day” to update everyone on the state of the sale, which is that nobody knows what’s going on. No offer has been presented to City Council, nothing was really made of the Goldwater Institute, and here we are in the middle of May with nothing concrete going forward.

This isn’t like in Atlanta where things fell apart very quickly, this has been going on for seriously three years. It’s simply unbelievable that this has dragged on for this long and nothing has been resolved. One can’t help but wonder if they are just throwing up smoke screens until the Coyotes are eliminated from the playoffs and then announce the move, because remember who the tickets sales are helping…

Paul F’n Heyman:  Paul Heyman graced our screens for the first time in a very long time this past week, and how could you not get excited for it?

Despite not appearing for a wrestling promotion in a few years, Heyman never missed a beat. Even in reading a prepared statement Paul Heyman is able to get everyone to hold on to every last word coming out of his mouth. This man is an absolute genius on the microphone, and we can’t help but hope that he plays a part in the Brock Lesnar storyline going forward, the thought of him working as an agent/mouth piece/corner man for Brock Lesnar in his Summerslam match against Triple H is every bit a plus.

9/11 First Responders…really?: In the intro to Game 6 of the Rangers-Capitals series, CBC Host Ron MacLean foolishly compared NHL Players to the firefighters and policemen that rushed into the flaming wreckage of The Pentagon and World Trade Centers on September 11, 2001.

War metaphors in sports really need to stop. Every game is not a “battle”, or a “war”, and these men are not “soldiers” or “warriors”. Brad Richards and Alexander Ovechkin are very talented athletes engaged in a struggle on behalf of their billionaire owners, nothing more. To compare them to soldiers, police officers, or anyone else is down right insulting to the people who are risking their lives.

In case you haven’t seen the video, have a look and wonder…

Fatal-Four Way: Alberto Del Rio challenging Sheamus for the World Heavyweight Title at Over the Limit wasn’t exactly setting the world on fire. After a very fun tag match on RAW, things got changed as Chris Jericho and Randy Orton were added to the match.

These four are certain to put on a great show, and hopefully are able to lead to some interesting spin-offs down the line. All six possible one-on-one matches featuring those four are incredibly intriguing and it should make for some interesting feuds going forward. This can add some much needed luster to the Sheamus-Del Rio feud since either of them can win this match without pinning the other to set up easy motivation going forward.

Of course, what puts this in the plus more than anything else is that it means that Orton-Kane is finally done.

David Menzies: How is this for a great hook to start an article?

Question: When do you know that a public figure really needs a P.R. boost?

Answer: When that person wraps himself in the rainbow flag.

If that doesn’t make you want to throw up, then I don’t know what will. The “columnist” David Menzies lead a recent article on the Canadian Version of the Huffington Post with this. What’s worse (and keeps it relevant to this site) is that the public figure he is accusing is Toronto Maple Leafs General Manager Brian Burke.

Burke, whose gay son was killed in a car accident, is also one of the founders of the If You Can Play, You Can Play initiative started a few months ago. Menzies accused Burke, as well as former New York Ranger Sean Avery, of standing up for gay rights as a means of shielding himself from criticism by “Milking the gay angle for all it’s worth”.

First off, to accuse Burke of starting “You Can Play” based on anything other than the memory of his son is disgusting, ever Brian Burke would not stoop to that level. Secondly, if he was out to escape criticism it has clearly failed, as people continue to call for his job. Lastly, Menzies also called for a boycott of the Grey Cup since they are allowed to use the Imperial System but nobody else in Canada is allowed to, alright so that point may not be relevant, but it shows what kind of a guy we’re dealing with.

By the way, he doesn’t work for Fox News, he gets to grace our televisions North of the Border, working for a company that starts with an “S” and ends with an “un Media”. What a wonderful time to be Canadian…


Prediction for the Week: Rangers win 3-1 against the Capitals, then get a split in Manhattan against the Devils.