Welcome back one and all to an irregular feature here at Blade Jobs of Steel. With a major PPV coming up this Sunday, it is time to look at the event from both the critical and prophetic eye that all smarky wrestling fans same to have. We will look at the event and examine what (probably) will happen according to current WWE logic and trends and compare it to what, in our humblest of opinions, should happen.
This event has been one of the most talked about non-big four event in recent memory. It looked like the company was set to give the epic multi-year Punk-Cena feud a great showdown inside their ultimate blowoff gimmick match. Instead, Cena’s elbow gets injured and they pull a substitute. Instead of taking an established name like Randy Orton or pull out a lovable veteran like Mick Foley, the company decided to take a big gamble and trust relative newcomer, Ryback, into the top billing. Ryback has been booked as an unstoppable monster, so the question seems obvious, which do they value more, their new star or the longest running title reign in six years? Is Punk-Rock set for the Royal Rumble, or could Ryback-Rock be more engaging? Add in the fact that we have an apparent resurgence in both the tag team and intercontinental divisions and an intriguing big man showdown for the World Title, and we have ourselves some very interesting possibilities.
The card order will be in the order of what SHOULD happen, with some discussions as to what will happen along the way.
John Cena Speaks
What SHOULD Happen: Cena takes questions from fans, announces that he has recovered from his injury. Paul Heyman interrupts and the two have a dueling promo which ends with Heyman reminding Cena that he’s never beaten Punk and so he had better hope that Ryback wins or else he’s not getting another sniff at the title. He then goes on about how much it must upset poor Vince McMahon to have a Paul Heyman guy hold the belt for so long, and that Vinnie Mac had best get used to it.
What WILL Happen: Cena takes forever to announce that he’ll be at ringside for the Main Event. Nothing else of consequence takes place.
Kofi Kingston vs. The Miz
Intercontinental Title Match
What SHOULD Happen: These two have yet another fun, fast paced match to get the crowd going. Lots of near falls make both men look great and Kofi Kingston hits the Trouble in Paradise out of nowhere to get the win. Both men move on to new feuds starting on Monday. As Kingston is celebrating we cut to the back and see Sheamus lying backstage having clearly been attacked.
What WILL Happen: That sounds about right there, although both men getting new feuds may not happen exactly as hoped, and the part about Sheamus seems unlikely.
Randy Orton vs. Alberto Del Rio
What SHOULD Happen: Randy Orton finds his 2011 workrate and these two tear the house down. Alberto wins after the Prime Time Players interfere to both hype their match on Main Event, to potentially set them up as allies for Del Rio, and more importantly to frustrate Orton enough to potentially turn heel down the line.
What WILL Happen: Orton wins in a relatively one-sided match that gets maybe 8 minutes.
Impromptu Match/Segment #1
What SHOULD Happen: Rey Mysterio and Sin Cara vs. The Prime Time Players - Immediately after the PTPs help Del Rio win, the luchadores run down to save Orton. Teddy Long interrupts the pull apart brawl to book the match. After some back and forth action, Orton interferes and lets Rey and Cara win, but the dishonesty doesn’t sit well with Rey.
What WILL Happen: The same match is booked at the last minute but it ends with the luchadores winning totally cleanly and with no reference to the six-man tag scheduled for this week.
Sheamus vs. Big Show
World Heavyweight Title Match
What SHOULD Happen: Big Show takes a microphone before the match and wishes Sheamus a speedy recovery. He says that a lot of guys backstage were with him when Sheamus got jumped so he has no idea who it was. The two have a good match but Sheamus is still clearly injured from his earlier attack. Eventually Show connects with the WMD and wins. Ziggler comes out to tease a cash in, but decides to run off and leave Show to celebrate.
What WILL Happen: Sheamus retains, Ziggler runs out and eats a Brogue Kick for his troubles.
Eve vs. Kaitlyn vs. Layla
WWE Divas Title Match
What SHOULD Happen: These three compete in a back and forth match. Kaitlyn gets the upper hand and looks poised to win, Eve then heelishly steals a pin on Layla to put heat on a match for next month.
What WILL Happen: That actually seems likely, does it not?
Impromptu Match/Segment #2
Team Hell No vs. Rhodes Scholars
WWE Tag Team Title Match
CM Punk vs. Ryback
WWE Title Match