Tag Archives: John Cena

May 19

WWE Extreme Rules: What SHOULD Happen vs. What WILL Happen

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Welcome back to our monthly look at the big WWE Events. This month we get the former Backlash as Extreme Rules rolls around. In the past, this card tended to feature a series of Wrestlemania rematches. This year we get three, although there were only supposed to be two, so we can give them a bit of a pass on that.

This card has been built around the Steel Cage match between Brock Lesnar and Triple H, as well as the WWE Title Match between John Cena and Ryback. If we can think back a scant 8 months ago, Ryback looked like he was all set to be a huge face for the company and they even hot-shotted him into a title match with CM Punk. Yet somehow or another, he has yet to win a PPV Match against any regular WWE talent, even his match against Mark Henry, which seemed like it was custom made for him to win. His heel turn has yet to really and truly take off, so it seems unlikely that they’ll give him the win, but that didn’t stop them from giving the title to JBL almost ten years ago, and that one turned out just fine…

Enough with the preamble, let’s get to it. As always, matches are in the order that they should occur.

YouTube Pre-Show Match
The Miz vs. Cody Rhodes

What SHOUD Happen: This match was clearly just thrown together with little to no reason. Wasn’t The Miz feuding with Wade Barrett? Anyway, there is some potential here, but it is a bit of a stretch to bare with me. The Miz is rolling along just fine ready to win and Damien Sandow runs in to give Cody the win. The Rhodes Scholars continue to torment The Miz in the coming weeks. Miz searches for a partner to take these guys out, trying people like Zack Ryder or Justin Gabriel to no avail. Finally in a month or so, he find the perfect partner to take them on: John Morrison!

What WILL Happen: The Miz returns from an injury that nobody knew he had and Cody seems to be treading water, expect The Miz to win this one.

Match #1
Randy Orton vs. The Big Show
Extreme Rules Match

What SHOULD Happen: Man is Randy Orton ever boring! This feud does nothing to me, but they are both big names and fighting in a match that shares its namesake with the event, so it’s most likely to jerk the curtain here. There have been rumours of an Orton heel turn for months so let’s have that plan start here. Big Show gets extra ruthless and wins after choke-slamming Orton off the stage, or something else equally sadistic. After taking a few weeks off Orton returns with more of a killer instinct and starts to return to his heelish ways before finally snapping on someone, like say Sheamus to kick off a later feud.

What WILL Happen: Randy Orton is the master of filler PPV Matches, just ask Alberto Del Rio. Orton will win this one and fairly cleanly too.

Match #2
Kofi Kingston vs. Dean Ambrose
United States Title Match

What SHOULD Happen: This is one of the most predictable matches on the card. Ambrose wins this one, and hopefully cleanly. After the match, let’s have Reigns and Rollins come out to try and give Kofi a beatdown only for team Hell No to come ut and chase them back through the crowd.

What WILL Happen: Ambrose will probably win after some kind of cheating.

Impromptu Match/Segment #1

What SHOULD Happen: As The Shield celebrate their first title win, Teddy Long comes up to them and says that if Ambrose gets involved in the tag title match alter that he will be stripped of his newly won US Title. The three members of The Shield remain remarkably calm with that…

What WILL Happen: John Cena makes poop jokes about Ryback.

Match #3
Alberto Del Rio vs. Jack Swagger
I Quit Match

What SHOULD Happen: Really, is there anything other than an Alberto win that can happen here? Swagger really needs to serve his 30 day suspension, and this is the perfect time to do it. Have him locked in that cross-arm breaker until he quits and his “injured” for a while. Right after Alberto wins, we can even have Ziggler and Langston come and deliver a beatdown to both Alberto and Rodriguez, leaving people to wonder if Ziggler was faking it or not.

What WILL Happen: Del Rio will win, he has to right?

Match #4 
Sheamus vs. Mark Henry
Strap Match

What SHOULD Happen: This match sort of depends on what the long term direction is for both main belts. It looked for a while like we were going to get a Cena-Henry feud, and we still may. However, Sheamus is a logical challenger for Ziggler. However, Ziggler seems to have plans for the immediate future, so let’s go with Henry getting the win to get him into a feud for the WWE Title soon enough.

What WILL Happen: This is similar to Orton-Show, and when in doubt with this company, go for the face or the bigger name. So expect Sheamus to get the W here, especially since Henry stood tall on Monday. Expect Sheamus to reenter the World Heavyweight Title scene soon.

Match #5
Chris Jericho vs. Fandango

What SHOULD Happen: First off, this match should be given a gimmick, but that doesn’t seem to have happened. Fandango should look strong here and get a cleanish win. Hopefully he can recapture some of the excitement that surrounded him only a month ago.

What WILL Happen: Fandango will probably win, but I imagine he will look weak in the process, much like he did at Wrestlemania.

Match #6
Team Hell No vs. Seth Rollins and Roman Reigns
Tornado Tag Team Match for the WWE Tag Team Title

What SHOULD Happen:...and so it ends. Easily the most entertaining tag team title run since Edge & Christian is out of time. The Shield are certainly very worthy to tag the belts here. This match should be fantastic and will be a strong contender for match of the night. Remember a while back I said that Dean Ambrose should be banned from ringside? Well let’s have a run in by a mysterious newcomer to help The Shield win the title. Later it can be revealed to be Connor O’Brian from NXT, who would be a great addition to this stable.

What WILL Happen: The Shield will win and should come out looking very strong. I wouldn’t be surprised to see Kane and Bryan have some miscommunication to lead to their loss here, possibly with some Ambrose interference.

Impromptu Match/Segment #2

 What SHOULD Happen: Antonio Cesaro comes out to complain about not having a match only to get interrupted by Wade Barrett who says that he should complain, since he is Intercontinental Champion after all. The two heels banter for a moment only to be interrupted by a returning Christian! He tells them both to stop boring people and is able to clear the ring. Next month we can have a triple threat match for the IC Title.

What WILL Happen: Surely a Diva’s match of some sort, right?

Match #7
John Cena vs. Ryback
Last Man Standing Match for the WWE Title

What SHOULD Happen: Yet again, the company has booked themselves into a corner here with Ryback. Coming fresh off a hell turn, he really needs a win, but he’s clearly not ready for the WWE Title, especially since Cena just won it. The stipulation gives a perfect out, a double KO. Ryback looks strong, Cena keeps the title, ta-da everyone wins…or at least fails to lose. Next month we can get a four way match with Ryback, Sheamus, and Mark Henry all challenging for the title which could allow Henry and Cena to pair off after.

What WILL Happen: This match is going last for sure and it will end with Cena overcoming his ankle injury and getting the win for sure.

Match #8
Triple H vs. Brock Lesnar
Steel Cage Match

What SHOULD Happen: Here we are, the rematch that nobody asked for…again! The first match at Summerslam was decent, the rematch at Wrestlemania was absolutely boring, so hopefully this one will be somewhere in the middle, at the very least. I don’t understand how Brock Lesnar has been worth it for the company at all, especially since he has gone 1-2 against already established stars. Lesnar needs this win in a bad way, as he clearly can get more mileage than Triple H.

After Lesnar wins he and Heyman should yell out “BEST IN THE WORLD” as the show ends…

What WILL Happen: Lesnar will win on the account of interference, possibly from a returning CM Punk.

 

For those keeping track the card for WWE Payback in Chicago next month SHOULD include:

  • WWE Title Match: Cena vs. Henry vs. Sheamus vs. Ryback
  • World Title Match: Ziggler vs. Del Rio
  • IC Title Match: Barrett vs. Christian vs. Cesaro
  • The Shield (including Connor O’Brian) vs. Kofi Kingston, Team Hell No and Randy Orton
  • Diva’s Title Match: Kaitlyn vs. AJ Lee
  • Jericho vs. Fandango in a gimmick match
  • CM Punk calls out Paul Heyman and Brock Lesnar (setting up Lesnar-Punk at Summerslam)

 

Apr 15

Wrestlemania XXX: Imagining What the Card Will Look Like

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“We support your local sports team” say the WWE – Photo from Wikimedia

With a very disappointing Wrestlemania XXIX in the books it’s time to look forward to what the big event will look like next year. For the past six years the company has been like Star Trek movies, brilliant showings for the even numbers, and dullsville for the odd ones. Hopefully next year things will continue, as the company is sure to go all out for the event next year in New Orleans.

There have already been rumours of a Brock-Rock showdown and every year there is some talk of Cena-Taker taking place, where would this leave the likes of CM Punk, Triple H, Daniel Bryan, or the star that seems to have been born in Fandango.

So with a little bit of speculation we get the following matches…

Tons of Funk, R-Truth, Santino Marella and Zack Ryder vs. Prime Time Players and 3MB
YouTube Pre-Show Match

This is sort of a thrown together 10 man tag to get people who would pop the crowd on the card. They could all dance around, hit their spots and move on.

Lights, fireworks, GOD BLESS AMERICA!!!!

Chris Jericho and Christian vs. Rhodes Scholars
WWE Tag Team Title Match

Of course this is dependent on Jericho returning, but a reunion run with Christian could be exciting. They could have a nice little run with the tag team titles and have a showdown with two of the best smarmy heels in the business. Hopefully a chance to open the big event is a big apology to the Rhodes Scholars for leaving them off the card like they did. It could be extra fun to get Edge in the corner of the blond Canadians as a nice little nod to the past.

Sheamus vs. The Miz

This match fits the “no idea what to do with these two guys on the card spot”. It’s safe to say that The Miz won’t be a face this time next year, since he’s been pretty flat in this role. He can go on and on about being undefeated at Wrestlemania and drop this match cleanly, possibly foreshadowing another first time loss at this big event…

Antonio Cesaro  vs. Wade Barrett vs. Fandango vs. Kofi Kingston 
 vs. Mark Henry vs. Kane vs. Big E. Langston vs. Justin Gabriel
Money in the Bank Match

The card this year really could have benefitted from bringing Money in the Bank back. It would be a fun match early in the card and it could get some big exposure for the mid-card names like Kingston and Cesaro. Besides the gimmick gets overdone with two a year. They could easily have a different event in July. This match could be hurt by big guys, but it could be fun to see them throw the little guys around. If Gabriel is not over enough they could replace him with a host of other talent, preferably on the face side of things.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Rey Mysterio

Every year there is talk of a Cara-Mysterio match, but every year it doesn’t seem to work. Sin Cara does not seem to be working out in the WWE so the company strapped the rocket to Alberto in order to make a new Latin star. With Rey’s body breaking down, this could be a perfect chance to end his career on a high note in a great place. Plus they can finally do the mask record that they want, and have them all be for Rey as a sort of tribute.

Natalya vs. Charlotte
Diva’s Title Match

Charlotte is one of the bright spots in the NXT Divas Division and just so happens to be Ric Flair’s daughter. Natalya is the most talented, yet underutilized member of the Divas on the roster, and she just so happens to be a relative of Bret Hart. Wrestlemania X and XX had certain bursts of nostalgia so it seems reasonable that this could be an easy chance to have something similar happen here. If they had their Hall of Fame family members in their corners it could be pretty epic and actually make the ladies a draw at the big event.

CM Punk vs. Daniel Bryan vs. Dolph Ziggler
World Title Match

Wrestlemania XX featured quite possibly the best triple threat match ever for the Big Gold belt contested between three of the top workers of the era. What better way to draw back to that then have three of the top wrestlers compete for the same belt? It doesn’t much matter who is the champ going in but Punk is the most established so we may as well have him as champ going in. We would all be able to sit back and enjoy the show.

Ryback vs. Big Show

The match that was long rumoured to happen at this years event. This match should be a quick squash to put over Ryback as a legit giant. It could be a nice quick cool down after the classic that we would see right before.

The Shield vs. Evolution

Yet another call back to Wrestlemania XX when the young upstarts took on some of the hugest names in the business. Now here is a chance for those former upstarts to be the big names and put over The Shield in a huge way. There have been rumours of a Batista return and this would be a great way to use him and Triple H, plus we could get an interesting dynamic with a potentially heelish Orton. Sure it’s not that different than the six man tag from this year, but it could still be a ton of fun.

The Rock vs. Brock Lesnar

This match has been rumoured for a while now and it would be a huge celebrity match with the obvious twist that both celebrities are former WWE Champions. These two had an amazing match and feud in 2002, so they could easily draw on this as being “11 Years in the Making”. Of course The Rock was injured facing Cena, so he may be decapitated wrestling someone as stiff as Lesnar, but that’s a chance I sure am willing to take!

Hall of Fame ceremony featuring Macho Man Randy Savage and Owen Hart!

John Cena vs. The Undertaker
WWE Title vs. Streak

This is the last true dream match featuring WWE superstars, so you know it has to happen at Wrestlemania, somehow, someway. This could be an absolute gold mine for the company if they do it right. The most obvious question would be just how they would handle Taker. Could this be his last match? Would they let him retire as champion? Or could they have him win only for the Money in the Bank winner to cash in the next night or something of that sort. Or  heaven forbid they pull the trigger and end The Streak, giving that honour to Cena.

 

Sure 10 matches was too much this year as they whittled things down to 8 with one week to go. However, if they cancelled the Diddy Concert, took away one of Brock Lesnar’s 700 spine busters to Triple H, and canceled one of the videos hyping the show we were already watching they easily could have fit two more matches in with little problems. They had 10 matches at Wrestlemania XXVI and 11 at XXII, and both of those were fun shows.

Any ideas? Changes?

Apr 07

Wrestlemania XXIX: What SHOULD Happen vs. What WILL Happen

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“No More Than 17 Times a Lifetime…We Promise” – The far less popular tagline for this event. Photo from Wikimedia

So here we are the Granddaddy of Them All, The Showcase of the Immortals, the biggest event on the pseudo-sport calendar, Wrestlemania XXIX! The entire wrestling world is waiting with…indifference.

It’s easy to kind of see why the top three bouts feature two recent rematches and one match that seemed to be thrown together a few weeks ago with some offensive material thrown in for fun. But with some examination, this is kind of an interesting microcosm for the entire company.

On one hand we have heavily promoted matches featuring The Undertaker who is in his first match since last year, Triple H in his second match, and The Rock and Brock Lesnar who are both in their third matches since last years big event. Cena and Punk are the only real marquee draws just like last year. Clearly the company needs to build up some new stars.

However on the other hand, it looks like that’s just what they are doing. A remarkable ten wrestlers are in their first Wrestlemania, which is the most since Wrestlemania 2000, which featured a bunch of future World Champions in Edge, Christian, Kurt Angle, Chris Benoit, Eddie Guerrero  and Chris Jericho making their Wrestlemania debuts. Who knows in a few years we may be amazed that Ryback, Damien Sandow, and all three members of The Shield all had their first moments here at Wrestlemania XXIX. For all the doom and gloom about the over-reliance on part-timers there is a story to be made about the efforts to make some new big names. So even though this event seems blah now, it may in fact have a pretty big impact on the history of the sport.

Enough with the premable, let’s get to it!

Matches are in the order of what they SHOULD be. The numbers in brackets are the records of these performers at past Wrestlemanias.

YouTube Pre-Show
Wade Barrett (0-1) vs. The Miz (3-0)
Intercontiental Title Match


What SHOULD Happen: Is it possible to say put Cesaro in this match instead? The Miz had a nice little feud going for the US Title which never really got resolved, instead they have him start to feud with the other secondary champion who was feuding with Bo Dallas who hasn’t been seen in forever. Makes sense, right?  If they are really serious about The Miz’s face turn, which they should, then he should get the win and Barrett can start a real feud with a real main event player. Plus The Miz is undefeated at Wrestlemania, so why not keep it up? Hopefully they get 10 minutes or so to make it fun.

What WILL Happen: I don’t  think that the company cares, someone will flip a coin to determine the winner. Hey The Miz it is!

Match #1
Daniel Bryan (0-1) and Kane (6-8) vs. Dolph Ziggler (1-2) and Big E. Langston (0-0)
Tag Team Title Match

What SHOULD Happen: This is probably the best choice for an opener especially since Del Rio-Swagger will have a weird crowd reaction, Fandango is a wild card, and Ryback-Henry will probably be bad. Three of these four guys have a strong connection with the crowd and there has to be som excitement to see Langston debut, especially on such a huge stage. Hopefully we get a great 15-20 minute match with Ziggler and Bryan controlling most of the action. I think that it’s time for the amazing run of Team Hell No to end, we can have some slight miscommunication leading to the heels winning while the faces go back into therapy to recover from their loss.

What WILL Happen: It certainly won’t be 20 minutes, but this should be a fun match and I imagine Langston will come out looking like a star while Bryan and Kane explode at each other.

Match #2
Ryback (0-0) vs. Mark Henry (1-3)

What SHOULD Happen: Can you believe that Henry has only been in four Wrestlemania matches before this on and only one of those was a one-on-one match, against The Undertaker no less. Ryback makes his Wrestlemania debut and this match is really set up to give him a huge “Wrestlemania Moment”. This match should be short and end up with Henry getting marched around the ring and dropped down for the count.

What WILL Happen: Probably about the same as above, except it may be a little painfully long me thinks.

Match #3
Chris Jericho (4-7) vs. Fandango (0-0)

What SHOULD Happen: If given enough time these two could really deliver a flat out classic. Sure it may seem odd that Jericho came back to get stuck with a rookie, but we have to remember that Jericho gets to pretty much pick his spots. So the fact that Jericho picked the former Johnny Curtis says that he has high hopes for him, so the rookie gets his first big win and hopefully goes on to feud with The Miz over the Intercontinental Title.

What WILL Happen: Fandango will certainly get a win, I imagine there will be some sort of dance related shenanigans before hand.

Match #4
Sheamus (1-1), Randy Orton (4-5), and Big Show (4-8) vs. The Shield (0-0)

What SHOULD Happen: Every match that The Shield has been in has been quite good, and there’s no reason that this shouldn’t be as well, especially with the dysfunctional face team. There have been rumours of an Orton heel turn for a while now, I just hope it doesn’t happen here. There has to be a temptation to put Orton in The Shield, which would really derail the group. We should have Orton and Big Show argue most of the match and almost come to blow before Sheamus pulls them apart. Eventually Sheamus accidentally hits Orton with a Brogue Kick and The Shield go out and win. Over the course of the next few weeks or months the tension builds and we get a nice little Sheamus-Orton feud.

What WILL Happen: Orton turns heel in the match and joins The Shield as their leader.

Diddy Performs

What SHOULD Happen: Right after the song finishes out comes 3MB and thanks Diddy for being their opening act. They start to get in his face and look like they are going to attack him when Kingston and Truth run out to make the save, giving some people in the midcard something to do. Maybe they could even set up a tag team match with Diddy as a corner man at Extreme Rules.

What WILL Happen: He performs, he leaves, not much else happens.

Match #5
Alberto Del Rio (0-1) vs. Jack Swagger (2-0)

What SHOULD Happen: How the mighty have fallen haven’t they? This feud started out hot with some intrigue but has fizzled very quickly, really hurting Del Rio as a face. However, this match really isn’t in doubt is it? You can’t have the racist win the epic showdown, unless it’s Triple H, and it’s ten years ago. Del Rio should win pretty cleanly with an arm-breaker “injuring” Swagger for a convenient 30 days, standing triumphant.

UNTIL….Ziggler and Langston run down deliver a beatdown and we get the first man to ever win two different titles at the same Wrestlemania!

What WILL Happen: Del Rio will win and cleanly, they can’t be that stupid…can they?

Match #6
Triple H (7-9) vs. Brock Lesnar (1-1)
No Holds Barred Match
Triple H Must Retire if he Loses

What SHOULD Happen: The booking here is quite simple. Shawn Michaels hits an errant superkick, and F-5 later and one of the greatest of all time is forced to retire. Shawn and H can both do a special “comeback” next year in both of their last matches for reals.

What WILL Happen: This is probably the hardest match to predict what will happen. On one hand logic dictates HHH gets his win back but on the other hand do they really want their huge signing to go 1-2 in his first year? Especially since Lesnar reportedly resigned for another two years so he’s clearly on the up. Let’s go with the guy who owns the company getting the win.

Match #7
Brodus Clay (0-0), Tensai (1-1), and the Funkadactyls (0-0) vs.
Damien Sandow(0-0), Cody Rhodes (1-2), and the Bellas (0-1)

What SHOULD Happen: The Rhodes Scholars are so above this, let’s have them get the win in the bathroom break match. Let’s have Kaitlyn get invovled somehow since that was a potentially intriguing story that was completely forgotten about.

What WILL Happen: One of the biggest rules of Wrestlemania is: when in doubt, pick the face. So let’s have Team Funk get the win. 

Match #8
The Undertaker (Seriously, you don’t know?) vs. CM Punk (3-3)

What SHOULD Happen: As much as I’d love to see Punk go down as The Streak Breaker, it just doesn’t make any sense. He’s going down but damn it’ll be a really fun match.

What WILL Happen: See above, easily the most predictable match we’ll get.

Match #9
The Rock (5-4) vs. John Cena (6-3)
WWE Title Match

What SHOULD Happen: Get comfortable this may take a while…

The two have a back and forth match where Cena just can’t keep The Rock down for three. After a while out comes none other than Paul Heyman who distracts the ref and The Rock when out comes Brock Lesnar who proceeds to F-5 the pants out of The Rock allowing Cena to get the win. In an homage to 12 years ago, he shakes hands with Paul Heyman to end the show.

The next night Heyman kicks Punk out of his crew and Cena and Lesnar deliver a beat down, allowing him to take some time off and return in a few months as a face. This will set up Rock-Brock for next year, Punk-Cena at Summerslam, and probably a lot more.

What WILL Happen: No way we’re seeing a Cena heel turn. He’s clearly getting his win back.

 

So despite a pretty predicable card on paper, we have some intriguing questions. Will we see Triple H wrestle again? Will The Shield stay strong? Will they finally pull the trigger on Ziggler? How exactly will Cena get his win back?

Mar 03

Seriously, What’s the Plan for Wrestlemania XXIX?

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After watching the WWE product in recent weeks, I can’t help but feel like the WWE has the card written down on a napkin somewhere and it must read something like this:

Cena and Triple H need some big wins back

Undertaker wins if he wants to

Hey let’s make fun of the Tea Party and make a Mexican the Champion

Figure the rest out later

 

As it stands right now we are five weeks away from Wrestlemania and only two matches are booked. Clearly, Triple H-Lesnar in the rematch nobody asked for will be made official this week, and it’s highly likely that The Undertaker will challenge CM Punk, especially after Punk called himself God last week. That brings us to four matches that should be official by this time next week.

That in and of itself may not sound too bad, there is time to flesh out the card after all of these stories take care of themselves. The problem though, everything else is kind of a mess is it not?

Let’s see we have a multi-month feud between Cesaro and The Miz that seems to have ended only for The Miz to confront The Big Show, only for The Big Show to somehow get involved with The Shield. Speaking of The Shield, they continue their feud with Ryback, Sheamus gets added into the mix and so do Orton and Jericho, but then so does The Big Show. Sheamus, not content to feud with only three men, makes an alliance with Orton to fight The Shield and meanwhile is verbally sparing with Wade Barrett, not over his title but instead over Collin Ferrell. What happened to Bo Dallas by the way? Mark Henry squashes people left, right, and centre with the only The Great Khali standing up to him for some reason. Oh and the most promising surefire main eventer, Dolph Ziggler, loses again and again with no real direction. But hey, at least that’s better than Kofi Kingston who get saved by Truth to maybe set up a reunion for their team as they take on the Rhodes Scholars but that gets forgotten and Cody ends up maybe setting up a relationship with Kaitlyn the Diva’s Champion who really has nothing to do here. The only guys outside the main event with any real direction are the Tag Team Champions who will either finally have a match at the big event or possibly have to defend their titles with their torsos tied behind their backs.

Add in the fact that apparently the company is rumoured to have Sheamus-Barrett and Jericho-Henry on the show and it’s hard not to scratch your head. Sure they started to hint at Sheamus-Barrett last week but Chris Jericho and Mark Henry haven’t been in the same place, outside of the Elimination Chamber, in a pretty damn long time. Sure it would be a fun match, but it doesn’t exactly fit the story.

Pardon the pessimism, but it’s hard to care about the big event when the company clearly doesn’t. Of course the four surefire matches carry some intrigue, and it’s hard not to be excited about the possible Kane-Bryan match, but what about the rest? Wrestlemania is the chance for the future stars of the company to get some big time attention and be able to become main eventers in the future. It sort of boggles the mind.

So let’s say that those two matches do in fact happen, that gives us six matches with a lot of talent not booked, throw in Kane-Bryan and we’re up to seven. We would still need to get The Shield, Ryback, Big Show, Miz, Orton, Cesaro, Rhodes Scholars, Kofi Kingston and R-Truth, and the entire Divas division on the show. To make it worse, in the past several years Wrestlemania has tended to top out at eight matches, while having up to ten once in recent years.

So do they do The Shield vs. Ryback, Orton and Big Show as one match and the ten millionth Cesaro vs. Miz encounter in the other? That seems like the most likely option, maybe to add a mixed tag with Kaitlyn on one side and The Rhodes Scholars on the other, which should bring us up to ten matches to make it look like this:

The Rocks vs. John Cena – WWE Title Match

Alberto Del Rio vs. Jack Swagger – World Title Match

Triple H vs. Brock Lesnar

The Undertaker vs. CM Punk

Daniel Bryan vs. Kane

Mark Henry vs. Chris Jericho

Wade Barrett vs. Sheamus – Intercontinental Title Match

The Shield vs. Ryback, Randy Orton, and The Big Show

Antonio Cesaro vs. The Miz – United States Title Match

Rhodes Scholars and Tamina vs. Kofi Kingston, R-Truth and Kaitlyn –    **Possibly with the Tag and Divas Titles on the Line

 

Does that seem like it’s worth the money to you? What about Ziggler?

Feb 17

Elimination Chamber: What SHOULD Happen vs. What WILL Happen

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The Least Misleading Poster in WWE History – photo from wikimedia

Welcome back one and all to an irregular feature here at Blade Jobs of Steel. With a major PPV coming up this Sunday, it is time to look at the event from both the critical and prophetic eye that all smarky wrestling fans same to have. We will look at the event and examine what (probably) will happen according to current WWE logic and trends and compare it to what, in our humblest of opinions, should happen.

Here we are at our annual Speed Bump on the Road to Wrestlemania. In recent years this event is occasionally a predictable place holder and occasionally a complete curve ball. Anyone else remember 2009 when Edge lost one title and won another in the same night, completely screwing up everyone’s fantasy card? How about in 2011 when no titles changed hands and the man who everyone thought would win the Rumble went out and won the right to challenge for the top title anyway?

As usual this event could land somewhere on this spectrum. Will we get the path set for Rock-Cena II, or will they get things set up for a Triple Threat match? What about the rest of the card? There is not a ton of direction for the World Title at the moment, so expect to see something come up soon.

Enough with the preamble, let’s get right down to it!

The card order will be in the order of what SHOULD happen, with some discussions as to what will happen along the way.

YouTube Pre-Show
Rhodes Scholars vs. Brodus Clay and Tensai


What SHOULD Happen: Why is this match happening? They really could have used some build here, especially since both members of Rhodes Scholars were squashed on TV this week for no real reason. Clay and Tensai are clearly the flavour of the month for the WWE and do have some potential as a fun comedy/monster team going forward. However, there is a ton of money in the Rhodes Scholars so they should get a win by nefarious means.

What WILL Happen: The Hip Hop Hippos are clearly going to win and dance here and nobody will remember this match in the future.

Match #1
Antonio Cesaro vs. The Miz
United States Title Match

What SHOULD Happen: The outcome of this match really depends on what the companies plan is for Jack Swagger of all people. Swagger, especially with his current gimmick, is tailor made for an extended run with the US Title and The Miz could be a perfect transitional champion. If they company wants Swagger to win the belt at Wrestlemania then Cesaro needs to drop the gold here. However as was stated in our most recent Wrestlemania card predictions, we have that happening next month, so let’s have Cesaro retain possibly by being disqualified or counted out.

What WILL Happen: The Miz has been struggling in recent weeks so expect Cesaro to keep the gold here, maybe even moving on to a new program for Wrestlemania.

Impromptu Match/Segment #1

What SHOULD Happen: Wade Barrett vs. Kofi Kingston for the Intercontinental Title —With all due respect to Kofi, he kind of doesn’t matter here. The important thing is that Barrett gets a match against someone who is not Bo Dallas and Kingston and Sin Cara are the biggest faces not already booked so they are the most credible opponents. Barrett needs a good title defense and then a post-match confrontation with Bo Dallas afterwords.

What WILL Happen: Wade Barrett vs. Bo Dallas  for the Intercontinental Title — It wouldn’t be at all surprising if they book this match to happen so soon and with so little hype. Hopefully Barrett retains for now.

Match #2
Alberto Del Rio vs. Big Show
World Heavyweight Title Match

What SHOULD Happen: Not sure if this is interesting or sad that they go from having the final match be a straight-up encounter after having two gimmick matches to start the feud. Has that ever happened before?

These two have had some very compelling matches and there’s no reason to think that this will be any different. Since we predicted a fatal four-way for the big gold belt at Wrestlemania let’s have the match end in a no-contest when both guys are down and Ziggler and Langston run in and deliver a beat down before Ziggler cashes in and leaves the night with the Big Gold Belt.

What WILL Happen: Ziggler has to cash in, doesn’t he? This means that he probably won’t. Let’s have Del Rio winning with some Guerrero level trickery while Ziggler runs down to cash in but Alberto somehow escapes before the match starts.

Match #3
John Cena, Ryback, and Sheamus vs. The Shield
Six Man Tag Team Match

What SHOULD Happen: How awesome would a Cena heel turn here be? Man that would be all kinds of brilliant, sadly though – that ain’t happening. The next best thing we can hope for is to have The Shield win either by Brad Maddox crockery or by some new debuting member of The Shield like Connor O’Brian or Cassius Ohno.

What WILL Happen: The Super Team will stand triumphant with Cena getting the fall and The Shield will need to regroup a bit. As a slight aside, I wonder if the WWE will have Ryback and Sheamus have some sort of a miscommunication which would lead to a Wrestlemania match. Please say this doesn’t happen, these two should be having a Title Match at next year’s Wrestlemania, so leave them apart for now.

Match #4
Kaitlyn vs. Tamina
Diva’s Title Match

***This is copy/pasted from last month when this match was rumoured to take place…move on***

What SHOULD Happen: No way Kaitlyn loses the title so soon after winning it. Get used to this match since there are no other Diva’s on the roster to challenge for the title right now.

What WILL Happen: Same as above.

Impromptu Match/Segment #2

What SHOULD Happen: Rhodes Scholars have a segment with Booker T, the team agrees that “Due to popular demand” they will reunite and demand a tag title shot after their huge win in the pre-show. Booker denies them and they storm out only for Cody to bump into Goldust who mocks his brother and gets beaten down two on one….yeah I really want that tag match to happen!!!

What WILL Happen: Uhhhh….The Rock gets a big promo and makes sure to talk about Cena as well, clearly looking past Punk.

Match #5
Daniel Bryan vs. Randy Orton vs. Mark Henry vs. Jack Swagger vs. Chris Jericho vs. Kane
Elimination Chamber Match

What SHOULD Happen: As stated in the Wrestlemania card, I really think that a four way match for the World Title is the best option, so Jericho winning here to further his feud with Dolph Ziggler makes a ton of sense. Let’s have Bryan and Kane start in the ring and argue before each of them tries to steal a pinfall. Orton can come out next and hold his own against those two while tensions mount with Team Hell No before Swagger comes out fourth. Finally Bryan and Kane snap at each other allowing Orton to RKO Bryan and Swagger to lock the ankle lock on Kane, eliminating them both. Swagger and Orton fight before Jericho comes out and then finally out comes Henry who goes on a tear, eliminating Orton cleanly, then pinning Swagger before Jericho is able to pull out a lucky win – ta da!

What WILL Happen: This is probably the hardest important match to predict in recent memory. Clearly Kane and Bryan aren’t winning the match, but a strong case can be made for the other four! Orton is the top star of the bunch and would be the biggest draw at the top of the card at Wrestlemania, Jericho has a bunch of momentum on his side and a history with Ziggler, Henry would make a great opponent for Del Rio since he clearly works well against monster, while Swagger has the most long term potential and his “Real American” gimmick makes him tailor made to feud with Del Rio. If Ziggler doesn’t cash in, then let’s go with a Mark Henry win. A feud between Henry and Del Rio would be interesting and it’s not like the secondary world title will add too many buyrates.

Match #6
The Rock vs. CM Punk
WWE Title Match
The Rock loses the Title on a Countout or Disqualification

What SHOULD Happen: How great would it be if The Shield run down and attack Punk, giving him the win by disqualification? As unlikely as it is to happen, what the hell, let’s do it that way. This is my column damnit and I want a Triple Threat match at Wrestlemania!

What WILL Happen: The Shield or Brad Maddox will come down and tease the spot stated above but Cena will make the save, The Rock will win and the show ends with a Rock-Cena staredown.

 

Let’s see what actually happens!!

Feb 14

Wrestlemania XXIX: Another Idiot’s View of How the Card is Shaping Up

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Apparently they build stadiums on state borders… – photo courtesy of Wikimedia

Now that the Rumble is in the past and the Elimination Chamber is just a bit ahead it’s becoming that time when we start to get really hyped up for Wrestlemania! It seems like Rock and Cena are set to do battle, but what about everyone else on the roster? CM Punk has to fit somewhere, and so does Dolph Ziggler and his briefcase. Add in the fact that the WWE has debuted a lot of talent in the past year and the usual part-timers like Undertaker and Triple H need a seat at the table and we could have ourselves a packed card.

The last few years we’ve had eight matches on the big card but that included the ridiculous 14 man GM battle last year. Unless we get a huge match we may see the number of matches climb, so like our look ahead back in November — wait, we had The Shield facing those shmucks? — we have 10 matches on the docket and it includes a few multi-man affairs, but nothing as crowded as last year.

29 Man Last Chance Battle Royal

YouTube Pre-Show

Yes, this is a copy-paste from last time, but it just makes sense.  The winner of this Battle Royal gets a spot on the main card as the final member of the multi-man Intercontinental Title Match that we’ll talk about in a few paragraphs. Let’s have the winner be Bo Dallas to further his underdog story.

Fireworks! Explosions! God Bless America!

Daniel Bryan vs. Kane

Who is the Tag Team Champions?
Special Guest Referee: Dr. Shelby

After spending the past few months building up the Tag Team Division, the company sure has torn it down, haven’t they? The Rhodes Scholars go the way of Kingston and Truth, Rey and Cara are MIA, The Shield are focused elsewhere, and every other team is treated like a joke. The money is in a singles match between these two and it would be kind of fun to have them do a match to determine the Tag Team Champions, sure it was lame when WCW did it 15 years ago, but so was everything in WCW then. Plus if both men find a partner they could feud for the title for a few months afterwards.

Wade Barrett vs. Bo Dallas vs. R-Truth vs. Jack Swagger vs.
Christian vs. Mark Henry vs. Rey Mysterio vs. Sin Cara

Gauntlet Match for the Intercontinental Title

Apparently the company is considering making the Intercontinental Title the focus of Main Event and what better way to kick that off than to give it some focus on the big show? Instead of just doing a ladder match, which nobody would be opposed to, we could do a gauntlet match or something else like that. We could have Dallas pin Barrett and then he himself loses so we can transition the title away from that feud. We could also get a tease of Rey-Cara, which the company has put the nix on apparently. I’d have either Mark Henry or Christian get the big win here, but any one of them would be fine choices for champion.

Antonio Cesaro vs. The Miz
Flag Match for the United States Title

These two have a decent feud going and hopefully they can have them last until the big event to give us a good mid-card Wrestlemania moment. Making it a Flag Match seems like a logical blow-off to Cesaro being an anti-American US Champion so let’s go with that. Once The Miz wins he can transition the title to the pro-American heel Jack Swagger in a few months while Cesaro moves up to the top talent and works his way to hold one of the top titles within a year.

Ryback, Sheamus, Randy Orton, and Kofi Kingston vs. Brad Maddox and The Shield
Eight Man No DQ Match

I know that this isn’t that different than the match going on this Sunday, but hopefully The Shield can stay strong at the Elimination Chamber. Not to give too much away for the SHOULD vs. WOULD this weekend, but the match is totally set up to have a new member of The Shield, either Brad Maddox or a new guy like Conor O’Brian. As much as we would all love a War Games match, let’s settle for a No DQ Match where Ryback can finally get his comeuppance on The Shield.

Kaityln vs. Tamina
Lumberjill Match for the Diva’s Title

There needs to be at least on Diva’s match on the card so let’s go with the only two that anyone can name. We need a cooler match, especially after what should be a huge, crazy war. Let’s get this out of the way and maybe they can finally bring some of those talented women in NXT after Wrestlemania.

Triple H vs. Brock Lesnar

We all know that this is going to happen, maybe there will be some sort of stipulation related to Paul Heyman taking control of the company attached in here. Either way, we can only hope that Lesnar goes 2-0 against Triple H here.

Wrestlemania Dance-Off!!!
Featuring Brodus Clay, Tensai, Fandango, Santino Marella, Zack Ryder, 3MB, and a few legends

Ok this isn’t a match, but it could be pretty entertaining and a decent cool-down segment after that last big match and before the other three huge matches on the card.

Dolph Ziggler vs. Alberto Del Rio vs. Chris Jericho vs. The Big Show
World Title Match

More spoilers for the COULD vs. WOULD but a multi-man match for the Big Gold Belt could just be in the cards. A simple Ziggler cash in coupled with a Jericho Chamber win could set up this very fun encounter. All four men deserve high profile matches and this is a great way to merge the two storylines and feuds. The ground work was already laid on Main Event this week as Alberto had a confrontation with Jericho and then a match with Ziggler. Hopefully Ziggler can walk in and out of Wrestlemania with the belt to look like a world beater.

BookDust vs. Rhodes Scholars

Sure the Rhodes Scholars “broke up” but we could get a great reunion match especially after the great Cody-Goldust segment in the Rumble and Cody calling out Booker T last week, we could get this as a short, fun comedy/nostalgia match.

The Undertaker vs. CM Punk

This match has been rumoured for a few months now and it could be an absolute classic. With the other two high profile matches being reruns, this could get some great fresh eyes on the product. Of course The Streak should continue, but this could be highly compelling.

The Rock vs. John Cena
WWE Title Match

This match is happening, we all know it. Their encounter last year was a ton of fun, and the rematch should have some added heat to it. As entertaining as a triple threat with Punk would be, this is where we are almost certainly heading so we may as well enjoy it.

 

Obviously the card is subject to change in the next month and a half.

Feb 01

Weekly Plus Minus: Rumble Fall-out, Dominant Sharks, Nail Fails (or does he?) and More!

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What a week it was! Since the last retrospective we had our first new WWE Champion since November 2011, a 19 year old phenom raked through the coals, and our favourite goalie in the world troll us with his excellent play. Oh so much to discuss!

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Weekly Plus Minus Logo

 

 

Plus Thumbnail

Predictable Booking: Most of the Royal Rumble went as we said it would happen, and you know, that’s not really a bad thing. Rock-Cena II is the money match, with an outside chance of a Triple Threat involving Punk, and the best way to do that was to have Punk drop the title and have Cena win the Rumble, otherwise it would just feel a little forced.

Before anyone complains about the predictability, remember all the times when the WWE swerved us for the sake of swerving us? Remember when Batista won the WWE Title back in 2009 only to have him drop it due to injury the next night and get it back to Orton through BS reasons? We should be glad that the WWE didn’t do something weird like that with having someone else win the Rumble and give us the most predictable Elimination Chamber match in history.

Add in the fact that we got the “shocking” reveal that The Shield and Brad Maddox are in cahoots with Punk and Heyman. This gives us a potential Dangerous Alliance 2.0 which also includes Brock Lesnar. If the strong booking of The Shield continues, then we have some real potential for the rookies to be elevated like few have been in recent memory.

If anyone is complaining about the straight forward story progression, remember the Road to Wrestlemania is just getting started, there will surely be some bumps and detours.

However, not everything predictable has been good this week..
Minus ThumbnailPredictable Deadlines: Was anyone in the world not surprised when Greg Jameson missed his deadline to secure money to purchase the Phoenix Coyotes?

Things are quite bleak for a franchise that has been through some very rough times over the past several years. It’s hard not to feel bad for Coyotes fans today…yes, we’re sure that they do exist.

Now hockey fans in the Seattle area on the other hand should be thrilled.

Plus ThumbnailTrolluongo: It’s almost as if Roberto Luongo figures out how people in Vancouver want him to play, and he goes out and does the opposite.

They want him to pitch a shutout, he goes out and shits the bed in front of Patrice Bergeron and Tyler Seguin just to see what would happen. They want him to be terrible so everyone can feel good about Cory Schneider and what does he do? Play lights out, earning a shutout in his most recent game and earning the nod against the hated Blackhawks and the Canucks fans are cheering for him.

Sure he’s increasing his trade value, but it’s also incredibly distracting for the Canucks and their always reasonable fans. It’s actually getting hilarious to watch.

Minus Thumbnail

Break in the Streak?: Recent rumblings have Undertaker’s status for Wrestlemania in doubt which could lead to the first Wrestlemania in 13 years and only the third since they started having double digits to not feature The Dead Man.

Of course this shouldn’t be too surprising consider The Undertaker’s age and already limited schedule, but it sure is not good news. One could easily argue that The Undertaker has been involved in the best match in each of the past six Wrestlemanias, going all the way back to his war with Batista at Wrestlemania XXIII and to not have a dependable, high quality contest and if the rumours of CM Punk being this years streak victim are to be believed, then we could just well be robbed of something great.

Plus ThumbnailJaws has Nothing on These Sharks: One of the biggest surprises so far this season has been the insane start of the San Jose Sharks who have roared out to a 7-0 start. All of this on the heels of them being finally discounted by hockey pundits everywhere (maybe even here too…).

For this teams entire history there has been one pretty clear pattern. Whenever people count them out they are at their best. When people expect good things out of them, down they go.

So it’s clear, we should never believe in them, then they will be dominante. Which will most certainly make people start to believe in them again, which will make them choke, which will make everyone doubt them, which will…

Minus ThumbnailFails Against Nail: Last week we ignored the entire Nail Yakupov celebration hooplah, hoping instead it would go away. Yet here we are.

A nineteen-year old scores his first big goal and celebrates and everyone nearly crucifies him. A few days later he scores another huge goal and does a very subdued celebration with his teammates and everyone is still all over him.

Make no mistake, this is about one very clear thing, the country he is from. Don’t believe me? Wait until Nate McKinnon gets his first big goal for the Columbus Blue Jackets or Calgary Flames and see what the reaction is.

 

Prediction for the Week: Luongo gets pulled in the Chicago game and everyone goes back to hating him.

Jan 27

Royal Rumble: What SHOULD Happen vs. What WILL Happen

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FINALLY…The WWE Has Booked a Compelling Title Match!!! – Photo from Wikimedia

Welcome back one and all to an irregular feature here at Blade Jobs of Steel. With a major PPV coming up this Sunday, it is time to look at the event from both the critical and prophetic eye that all smarky wrestling fans same to have. We will look at the event and examine what (probably) will happen according to current WWE logic and trends and compare it to what, in our humblest of opinions, should happen.

The Royal Rumble is the second biggest event on the WWE’s calendar and this year the WWE has taken a slightly backwards approach to the event. Usually the company hypes up the titular match and throws together a few other matches to fill out the card. This year it seems like they hyped up the lower card matches and forgot to hype the Rumble match until this past week.

The obvious path is well, obvious, The Rock dethrones CM Punk, John Cena wins the Rumble and we get the Once Twice in a Lifetime Match at Wrestlemania. However there are a whole load of other possibilities, especially since the last three Royal Rumble winners  have challenged for the Big Gold Belt instead of the WWE Title so we could very easily see a Smackdown competitor like Sheamus, Randy Orton, or Ziggler win the match. Let’s also not forget Ryback who has been on the losing end of the last three pay-per-views, not to mention his big TLC loss to TLC. He could very well be a presence in this.

Enough with the preamble, let’s get right down to it!

The card order will be in the order of what SHOULD happen, with some discussions as to what will happen along the way.

YouTube Pre-Show
Antonio Cesaro vs. The Miz
United States Title Match

What SHOULD Happen: This feud is just getting started and it would be great if they are able to stretch this out to Wrestlemania. There’s always money in the chase so let’s have Cesaro retain on the account of villainy. This can give us several vignettes of Flair trying to teach The Miz how to be the Dirtiest Player in the Game much to everyone’s rejoicing.

What WILL Happen: This could very well be the case, although it wouldn’t be too shocking if this feud is blown off at either the Elimination Chamber or some edition of Raw.

Match #1
Team Hell No vs. Rhodes Scholars
WWE Tag Team Title Match

What SHOULD Happen: As great as the Kane-Bryan team has been in the past few months, it’s probably time to think about giving the Rhodes Scholars a run with the belts. Obviously there would need to be some sort of a miscommunication here that leads to the loss. This can eventually lead to Kane vs. Bryan at Wrestlemania with Dr. Shelby as the guest referee.

What WILL Happen: Probably Team Hell No losing here but it’s doubtful that they’ll get their Wrestlemania moment. If anything they will get a rematch at Wrestlemania, possibly in a multi-team match, and will snap and feud after that loss.

Impromptu Match/Segment #1

What SHOULD Happen: A hilarious number drawing segment, those are always fun. Hopefully Daniel Bryan and Kane fight over their numbers and one is stuck with a low number and another stuck with a high number.

What WILL Happen: Number drawing segments are a mainstay, hopefully it won’t just be the big names doing it in a boring fashion.

Match #2
Alberto Del Rio vs. Big Show
Last Man Standing Match for the World Heavyweight Title

What SHOULD Happen: How great has Alberto been as a face? It’s sort of shocking but it’s been working out quite well so far, especially since he won the belt in front of a predominantly Latino crowd like he did. There is little reason to switch the belt back to Show, especially since he has little reason to head into Wrestlemania as champion. Let’s have the two men knock each other out to get a draw, then have Ziggler run out and cash in his contract. The thought of him competing in the Rumble while he’s the World Champion is a pretty interesting concept.

What WILL Happen: Del Rio retains here only to lose it to a heelish Randy Orton in the Elimination Chamber next month.

Impromptu Match/Segment #2

What SHOULD Happen: The Rock cuts a backstage promo only to get beaten down by The Shield, after all it wouldn’t be interfering in the match.

What SHOULD Happen: The Rock cuts a promo and we hear the word “Cookie Puss” way too much.

Match #3
Kaitlyn vs. Tamina
Diva’s Title Match

What SHOULD Happen: No way Kaitlyn loses the title so soon after winning it. Get used to this match since there are no other Diva’s on the roster to challenge for the title right now.

What WILL Happen: Same as above.

Match #4
CM Punk vs. The Rock
WWE Title Match

What SHOULD Happen: Punk needs to retain. This may be controversial, but he’s established himself as “The Best in the World”, he can’t cleanly lose to a part-timer. However, The Rock can’t lose cleanly for obvious reasons. Let’s go out on a limb here: Brock Lesnar interferes and costs The Rock the match, possibly with a DQ ending. This can give us Punk and Lesnar vs. Rock and Cena in a tag team dream match at the Elimination Chamber which should help everyone kick off the Road to Wrestlemania.

What WILL Happen: Rock wins, celebrates and has a stare down with Cena.

Match #5
30 Man Royal Rumble Match

What SHOULD Happen: Obviously there is no interest in us doing a full play-by-play of an hour long match, but here are some of the highlights:

- Ziggler (the World Heavyweight Champion mind you) and Orton are the first two in the ring, fight for a bit maybe toss a Prime Time Player or two until Alberto comes down to get revenge on Ziggler and The Show Off is Eliminated early.

- Sheamus comes down and he and Orton can do a rehash of Orton-Benoit in 2004 where they are constantly throwing people out trying to one up another. This can go on until we get to the teens somewhere and Dean Ambrose comes down in the high-teens, followed by the other members of The Shield soon after.

- The Shield toss Orton and Sheamus after they try to work together and then they look to be running the table, eliminating everyone, including Kane and Bryan after some miscommunication. Finally in the low twenties out comes John Cena who holds his own for two minutes until out comes Ryback and they are able to toss the three of them, maybe even with interference from The Rock as well.

- Finally we end up with Ryback and Cena in the ring and eventually Cena is able to duck a meathook clothesline and out goes Ryback.

What SHOULD Happen: Ziggler won’t have the title, but he should get a nice little push here. He could very well be the Ironman of the Rumble, lasting from bell to bell. However a few things will be predictable: Ryback will eliminate the most people, Ziggler will last a long time and Cena will win. Orton and Sheamus will also have strong showings, but not strong enough. In fact, it wouldn’t be surprising to see that be the final five with Ziggler as the last man that Cena tosses before becoming only the fourth man to win two Royal Rumble Matches.

Ideally the Wrestlemania card that we think SHOULD happen is:

  • Punk vs. Rock vs. Cena for the WWE Title
  • Lesnar vs. Undertaker (Triple H as the referee)
  • Ziggler vs. Alberto for the World Title
  • Orton vs. Sheamus
  • Antonio Cesaro vs. The Miz for the US Title
  • Some multi-team match involving Rhodes Scholars and Team Hell No
Jan 12

Top 10 Likely Royal Rumble Winners

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With TLC out of the way, we’re now officially kicking the build to the Royal Rumble into high gear, which means one thing. We’re closer to the Road to Wrestlemania!

The recent winners of the most entertaining match of each year has been interesting to say the least. The last ten Rumble Winners have included: A Warrior, an animal, a viper, a metaphorical deadman, a wrestler paying tribute to his actual dead friend, one man we never talk about, two superstars returning from injury, and two guys in their first year of the company. Six of these ten men would win the world title at Wrestlemania, with the other four holding the gold sometime within the following year.

We haven’t had a repeat winner since Steve Austin won his third back in 2001 but with John Cena and Sheamus penciled in as challengers in many fantasy cards, this could be the year that gets broken. However, with two world titles and a huge glut of young talent, we could see someone surprise us. In this post we’ll countdown the most likely rumble winners and examine where that would leave them on the card for the big event.

#10
The Shield

Alright so this one is a bit of a cop-out but it could work. We haven’t had a co-winner since the very odd 1994 Rumble and this would put the trio over strong and hard. It’s simple, have them successfully play the numbers game and finish the Rumble as the last three members. They can jump out together at the same time and demand that they all get the shot at one of the champions to get us a fatal four-way against one of the champions who they decimate at Wrestlemania. It’s almost certainly not going to happen, but it would be pretty amazing if it did.

Likelihood of Happening: Are there pigs flying yet?
Possible Wrestlemania Title Match: Randy Orton, Ryback

#9
Daniel Bryan

Easily the most surprising superstar for the WWE this year. He’s made the most out of losing the World Title in 18 seconds and being stuck in a tired “whacky tag team partners” gimmick. If anyone deserves their moment in the sun, it’s almost certainly him. He’s probably going to have a match against Kane at Wresltmania, which would not be for any title. However, if the company really wanted to give a match for the Smarks they could let him challenge CM Punk again or perhaps a rematch from last year.

Likelihood of Happening: It’s just too Indie-riffic to happen…
Possible Wrestlemania Title Match: CM Punk, Sheamus

#8
Chris Jericho

If Edge and Cena have taught us anything it’s that the company loves to throw curve balls every so often. Apparently, Jericho has been in negotiation about coming back for a Wrestlemania match, and this would be a great way to make it high profile. He should have won last year, so why not have him get the W this time around? He could either have a rematch with Punk or he could get some revenge on the man who kicked him out of the company.

Likelihood of Happening: As likely as him not winning last year was…oh wait…
Possible Wrestlemania Title Match: CM Punk, Dolph Ziggler, Alberto Del Rio

#7
Dolph Ziggler

Speaking of the Showoff, he doesn’t have the worst chance of winning the Rumble. He is primed to finally win the big one and what better way to start that march to glory than to have him win the Rumble? They only thing that’s potentially holding him back is the one thing pushing him foreword, that briefcase. It feels redundant to give him two title shots, but there is a chance to do something cool there. Imagine him challenging a face like Sheamus for the Big Gold Belt, and have him beat the Irishman down with a chair and get DQed only to cash in right after. If that isn’t a #HeelWrestlemaniMoment I don’t know what is!

Likelihood of Happening: Pretty darn slim
Possible Wrestlemania Title Match: Sheamus, Randy Orton, Alberto Del Rio

#6
Brock Lesnar

How would this be for a man’s third return in a year? This event will be the ten year anniversary of his Rumble victory so why not have him do it again? Imagine Heyman gloating about this for the next several months. Especially if we get the chance of having him manage both World Champions. He’s been a rumoured opponent for The Rock at Wrestlemania, and it would be even huger if it was for the title.

Likelihood of Happening: Brock would most certainly flake out between winning the Rumble at Wrestlemania.
Possible Wrestlemania Title Match: The Rock,

#5
Randy Orton

Sure he’s injured at the moment, but it would be a nice return to have him knock out all three members of The Shield before winning the big match and moving on to try and reclaim the Big Gold Belt? He’s been kept away from the world title for a suspiciously long time, sure he’s spent long periods of the year suspended or injured, but that hasn’t stopped the company from pushing him before.

Likelihood of Happening: Likely if a brisk wind didn’t injure him walking down to the ring
Possible Wrestlemania Title Match: Big Show, Sheamus, Dolph Ziggler, Alberto Del Rio

#4
The Undertaker

Triple H did say that the Dead Man is coming back, wouldn’t this be a nice way to do the return? A match between Punk and Taker has been rumoured for a while now so why not make it for the WWE Title? Sure it may not put over some younger talent, but it’s cool to think about.

Likelihood of Happening: I’d pay to see this, just to watch the internet explode when Taker eliminates Daniel Bryan.
Possible Wrestlemania Title Match: CM Punk, Sheamus, Randy Orton, The Rock

#3
Ryback

He’s scheduled to lose his fourth straight high profile match on January 7th, so why not have him throw a million people out of the Rumble and go on to finally kiss the brass at Wrestlemania XXIX? He could get his big rematch against CM Punk, have an Unstoppable Force vs. Immovable Object match against Big Show or do some sort of Face vs. Face Match against any of the other big names. He’s probably the most compelling potential winner, no matter if it will happen or not.

Likelihood of Happening: Feed Me Something More Likely
Possible Wrestlemania Title Match: CM Punk, Big Show, Sheamus, John Cena

#2
Sheamus

 He’s been highly rumoured as a winner and it totally makes sense. He’s always in the World Title hunt and it makes sense to get him back there. However it doesn’t make sense to give him his ten thousandth match against Big Show or Alberto. So it’s more likely that if he wins they will hot shot the title to either Randy Orton at the Elimination Chamber or have him chase Ziggler after he cashes in the briefcase.

Likelihood of Happening: The luck of the Irish may just shine on him…
Possible Wrestlemania Title Match: Randy Orton, Dolph Ziggler

#1
John Cena

Look into your heart, you know it to be true. With the Cena-Rock rematch essentially set in stone for Wrestlemania, the obvious path is well…obvious. Rock beats Punk, Cena wins the Rumble, match announced the next night on Raw. TA DA! Sure they could hold off the title change until the Chamber, but a Cena Rumble win does the same. Add in the fact that only Hogan, Michaels and Austin have won two Rumbles, and it probably makes more sense to put Cena in that category than Sheamus does it not? Plus the internet would explode and that’s kind of great.

Likelihood of Happening: You can’t see him not winning, right?
Possible Wrestlemania Title Match: The Rock, The Rock, or maybe The Rock

Dec 14

WWE TLC – What SHOULD Happen vs. What WILL Happen

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“Good thing that Ryback thing worked out” said the people who made this poster months ago- Photo from Wikimedia

Welcome back one and all to an irregular feature here at Blade Jobs of Steel. With a major PPV coming up this Sunday, it is time to look at the event from both the critical and prophetic eye that all smarky wrestling fans same to have. We will look at the event and examine what (probably) will happen according to current WWE logic and trends and compare it to what, in our humblest of opinions, should happen.

For the second straight month a match involving the WWE’s newest Main Eventer, Ryback was changed. Last month he was scheduled to be in a tag match opposite CM Punk that was scrapped and he was given a title shot, now this month he was scheduled for a title shot and it was scrapped for a tag match instead. Now obviously there were different circumstances, but it’s interesting none the less. This month we will see the in-ring debut of The Shield as they take on Ryback and Team Hell No. Will they have the courage to give the new guys the win? Will it hurt Ryback’s mystique to have him end up on the losing end for three straight events?

Enough with the preamble, let’s get right down to it!

The card order will be in the order of what SHOULD happen, with some discussions as to what will happen along the way.

YouTube Pre-Show
“Santa’s Helper” #1 Contender Diva’s Battle Royal

What SHOULD Happen: Is no match taking place an option? No? Well then I guess we’ll have AJ winning to get us to the eventual AJ vs. Vickie title match we’ve all been begging for.

What WILL Happen: Seems pretty likely actually…

Match #1
Rey Mysterio and Sin Cara vs. Rhodes Scholars
#1 Contenders Tag Team Tables Match

What SHOULD Happen: These two teams worked great together on RAW a few months back and there’s no reason to think that lightening won’t strike again. The addition of the tables really plays into the luchadores style. The victor of this match will really tell us a lot about the company’s plans for the tag division. A win by Rey and Cara could point us in the direction of The Shield winning the Tag Team Titles, while a win by the Rhodes Scholars could lead to them finally getting their run with the belts. A win by either team could still lead to the split of Rey and Cara, but it depends on how they want that to happen. Will we see the two face off while they are both tag team champions, or have one get fed up after losing? Hmmm…perhaps a losing streak is in order for the masked wrestlers, let’s have it start here when some miscommunication leads to Rey getting thrown through a table.

What WILL Happen: Since Cody Rhodes vs. Kane has already been booked for Main Event next week, it seems likely that the plan for the Rhodes Scholars to get a shot has been set in motion.

Impromptu Match/Segment #1

What SHOULD Happen: Miz TV segment with the Rhodes Scholars, where they are asked about their newly earned tag team title shot. They end up in a war of words, as a follow up to this past Monday, which breaks down and turn physical. This will lead to Morrison coming back for a big tag match down the line.
What WILL Happen: Something with Vickie and Vince, maybe to book the eventual Punk vs. Ryback match that’s rumoured for January.

Match #2
Kofi Kingston vs. Wade Barrett
Intercontinental Title Match

What SHOULD Happen: These two will go out and give 110% out there in a 15-20 minute match with a clean finish. Either winner would be fine, but Barrett seems poised for the Main Event soon enough, so it may be best to let Kofi run a little bit longer with this belt.

What WILL Happen: Probably about the same, maybe with 10 or so minute length instead.

Match #3
John Cena vs. Dolph Ziggler
Ladder Match for the Money in the Bank Contract

What SHOULD Happen: This is one of the more compelling non-title matches that the company has put on in recent memory. At first glance, this match could go last, since Cena has closed 9 out of 11 pay-per-views this year — one he was injured, and another was the Royal Rumble. However, there is quite a bit more intrigue if this match goes early, more specifically, if it goes earlier than the World Heavyweight Title match there is the possibility of a cash in on the same night.

There are so many questions for the aftermath of this match. If Cena wins, will they have him somehow use this contract to get a shot at the Rock’s WWE Title? Will they go for a Title Unification Match? Or will they have him unsuccessfully cash the title in twice? Will they have Ziggler retain the briefcase and cash it in the coming months? Or will we see a swerve like have the case switch to Cena here and back to Ziggler later?

Here’s a great chance to make Ziggler a big time player that he’s been ready to be for a long time. A clean Ziggler win would be ideal, but that’s very unlikely, so some sort of a Vickie and AJ cluster that leads to Ziggler grabbing the case would work. Plus it will lead to the potential AJ/Cena break-up that the company is pushing towards.

What WILL Happen: Ziggler will win but look like a total bitch in the process. Chances are we could see the following people interfere: Vickie Guerrero, AJ Lee, The Shield, a returning Jack Swagger, The Rock, Hulk Hogan, The 1976 Philadelphia Flyers, New Members of The Shield, and/or CM Punk. A Shield beat down of Cena would be probable, especially after the events of this past Monday.

Impromptu Match/Segment #1


What SHOULD Happen: Another “Found footage” style promo from The Shield. That one last week was golden.
What WILL Happen: Some segment between Cena and AJ.
Match #4
Antonio Cesaro vs. R-Truth
United States Title Match
What SHOULD Happen: These two have a longer match than they did last month, same result with a clean Cesaro.
What WILL Happen: These two have a shorter match than they did last month, same result with a clean Cesaro win.
Match #5
Big Show vs. Sheamus
World Heavyweight Title Match
What SHOULD Happen: These two have another great brawl that leads to Big Show retaining and in a very fitting moment, Ziggler limps down to the ring and cashes in. Show and Ziggler have a short little match, say 5-7 minutes long and Ziggler wins clean as a whistle to get the Big Gold Belt and a nice little face turn in the process.
What WILL Happen: Sheamus retains, Ziggler doesn’t show up, and Big Show gets his rematch at the Royal Rumble.
Match #6
Ryback and Team Hell No vs. The Shield
TLC Match
…well sort of…
What SHOULD Happen: This really should go last to make The Shield look like the new stars that they are being primed to be. Hopefully everyone in this match comes out looking strong. We can have plunder all over the place, a ton of near falls, and brawls all over the arena.
As much as we would all love a clean pinfall, that is probably too much to hope for. Let’s have CM Punk come out for commentary and continuously deny his involvement with The Shield. During the match Ryback throws Seth Rollins through the commentary table and it bumps Punk. He gets into it with Ryback and the two begin to brawl to the back. This leaves Team Hell No outnumbered 3-2, eventually they powerbomb Byran on to Kane, through a table and pin both of them. The show ends with three new stars standing tall.
What WILL Happen: The Shield will win but look bad in the process, probably on the account of Brad Maddox, crooked referee.
As much as we all want The Shield to look great, we must remember the last time a group of rookies made their pay-per-view debut in a tag team match, the show ended with John Cena standing tall.