Tag Archives: Boston Bruins

May 14

NHL Playoffs: Second Round Predictions That Will No Doubt Be Proven Wrong

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No rest for the wicked, eh? A scant 24 hours after two very intriguing Game 7 implosions, we’re back at it with two first round series starting up tonight! Back to offer their thoughts are Glen, Troy and a Coin who all did surprisingly well last round!

In third place is a man who correctly predicted the Penguins, Senators, Bruins, Blackhawks, and Kings advancing, and earns an extra point for correctly calling the Hawks winning in 5, for a total of 6 points is Troy!

Troy Says: That first round was crazy! It was heartbreaking to see my Canadiens lose to an incredibly scrappy and determined Ottawa team….especially since their first goal in game 4 was EXTREMELY obviously kicked in and it completely boggles my mind as to how in the world that was actually allowed to count…..but I digress. It was a mix of fun and sad to watch the Canucks implode once again. Watching the magic that follows the Red Wings continues to amaze. They had an incredible stretch just to make the playoffs and then they defeated a loaded Anaheim team.

Back in the East watching Marc-Andre Fleury pretend to play for the Penguins while obviously being paid off by the Islanders was interesting to say the least. If the Islanders had gotten absolutely any goaltending from Nabokov they could easily be in the second round right now.

In the Boston/Toronto series my heart truly breaks for the Leafs. That was an epic and unmatched collapse. It’s all part of the learning process though. Next year will be different for the Leafs. Same with Montreal and the Islanders. They are young teams trying to get their feet wet and as they say you have to learn to lose before you can learn to win.

In second place is a man who perfectly predicted all four series in the East and called both the Blackhawks and Red Wings advancing. In addition he called the Rangers 7 game win, giving him 7 total points is Glen!

Glen Says: What an unbelievable First Round we saw! For the first time in recent memory, the Eastern Conference was more compelling and entertaining than the West.

We had the Penguins look very beatable, only to resolve things with a goalie switch. Then the Senators and Canadiens had an all-out blood war that featured some of the best quotes of the post-season. The Capitals and Leafs both gave their teams reasons to hope only to completely fall apart in different yet spectacular ways in Game 7.

The second round as a whole looks incredibly promising as we get two Original Six showdowns, a geographic battle, and of course Matt Cooke in Ottawa. Even if  most of the series end quickly like they did last year, this still should be a ton of fun.

Last year in the West, everyone was amazed that perennial contenders in Chicago, Detroit, Vancouver, and San Jose all fell in the first round and everyone called it a changing of the guard. Well guess what? A year later and three of those four teams are back in the second round and they are joined by the Stanley Cup Champion  – who coincidentally join the ’08 Red Wings and ’09 Penguins as the only champs since 2002 to win a series the next year – needless to say, what’s old is new again out West, and it’s pretty damn exciting!

And somehow or another the Coin was able to predict the Pens, Sens, Rangers, Bruins, Blackhawks, and Sharks to advance and even more astonishing – it called the Sens and Hawks in 5 and the Rangers in 7. Yeah they coin has 9 total points…kill us all.

WESTERN CONFERENCE
 
#1 CHICAGO BLACKHAWKS vs #7 DETROIT RED WINGS

One more time for the last time

Troy: If you aren’t following @Eklund on Twitter…you should be. He made a point about the Red Wings that is absolutely bang on. They are by far the best coached team in the playoffs. Combine that with the fact that Chicago was not on their game in the first round and this could be a very entertaining series. I think the Wings will be a good test for the Blackhawks and I think it will be the push they need to start firing on all cylinders again. The unknown here is Howard. These teams are close enough that Howard could absolutely steal a game or two so Chicago will be able to take absolutely no short cuts. Even though Chicago wasn’t completely in their game in the first round they still took out Minny in 5 games and their captain, Jonathan Toews did not play anywhere near his capabilities. Toews won’t let that happen two series in a row.

Blackhawks in 6

Glen Says: If anyone is going to beat the Hawks this year, it won’t be the Red Wings. The Wings were lucky enough to matchup against the weakest non-Southeast Division leader in recent memory. As Troy said, the Wings are very well coached, but Babcock simply doesn’t have the horses for this race. The Hawks are just too deep and the Red Wings don’t have Lidstrom anymore. There is a reason that Ryan Sutter played a million minutes in the last round, they wanted him out there against both Kane and Toews. The Red Wings just don’t have a minute muncher anymore to do that. Thankfully there is the Original Six Factor here, because this series will be a ugly.

Blackhawks in 5.

Coin Says: Blackhawks in 5

Expect to Hear: ”How do you feel like playing a few more games?” – Ken Holland talking to his cell phone as he makes a mysterious call to Sweden.
#5 LOS ANGELES KINGS vs #6 SAN JOSE SHARKS

Gamers vs. Chokers

Troy Says: This is a series that pits two teams each having won four straight games. The Kings had a very tough start to their series but then rattled off four wins in a row against a damn good St. Louis team. San Jose however swept a disorganized and pitiful Vancouver team that completely lost themselves. That being said I think this is LA’s series to lose.

Kings in 5

Glen Says: I want to like the Sharks, really I do. I started blogging about sport in 2007, and sending e-mails to Troy for many years before that, and I picked Teal and Black to win or at least make the finals nearly every time. However, after too many disappointments, I just can’t do it. Last round I said that the winner of LA-St. Louis would make the finals, so I better stick with it. Logan Couture, Joe Pavelski, and Anti Niemi will do their best to make a series of it, but the Kings have the experience. Oddly, this is the first time the Kings have had home ice in a playoff series since the first round of the 1992 playoffs. They were undefeated at home against the Blues…

Kings in 6

Coin Says: Kings in 6

Expect to Hear: “We’re part of the Battle of California too” – All 12 Ducks Fans

EASTERN CONFERENCE
#1 PITTSBURGH PENGUINS vs. #7 OTTAWA SENATORS

CSI Ottawa: Staring Eugene Caruso 

Troy Says: This is easily the series I am most looking forward to in the second round. I think Ottawa is going to be a really tough opponent for the Pens. Pittsburgh’s goaltending in the first round was horrible. They had to use Vokoun because Fleury couldn’t stop a beach ball. Now look at the other end of the rink and you’ll see Anderson. He played incredibly well against Montreal and was a huge reason why they took out my Habs in 5. Pittsburgh beat the Islanders in 6. But they did it in spite of their goaltending. Ottawa will not be that easy to overcome. Daniel Alfredsson has given his team everything and he’s proven that he still has a lot left in the tank. As Karl Eriksson gets his game back this team is only going to get better. This Ottawa team seems to have a cinderella feel to them and I think the Pens are vulnerable.

 

Senators in 6

 

Glen Says: Let’s see, one team rolled over their opponents in 5 games which included two 6-1 curb-stompings. The other had a goaltending controversy despite winning two shutouts, and survived two other overtime scares to win an incredibly close series in 6 games.

If I wrote that as a “future preview” two weeks ago you’d be expect the first sentence to be about the Pens route and the second one to be about the Sens route. Yet somehow or another, things changed and the Senators come in looking like world beaters and the Penguins come in a little shaky.

Honestly, I think that the Islanders poked the dragon here. The Penguins looked very focused in Games 6 and 7 after being tied 2-2 and going with the goalie switch. Expect Tomas Vokun to start this series but be given a short leash. The team just seems to play better in front of him. Now Evgeni Nabokov was pretty bad in the first round, I mean, not Marc-Andre Fleury bad, but pretty terrible. Expect the Penguins to have a much harder time scoring on Craig Anderson. However, Malkin, Iginla and Crosby are 2,4,5 in playoff scoring and people haven’t noticed them, so expect all three to step it up as things keep going.

This series will be fun and the games should be very close, but the Sens just can’t hang with this team that seems to be starting to click on all cylinders.

Penguins in 5 very close games

Coin Says: Senators in 5

Expect to Hear: ”It wasn’t Matt Cooke! It was Colonel Mustard in the Observatory with the Skate Blade” – Eugen Melnyk after finding the results of his forensic investigation

#4 BOSTON BRUINS vs #6 NEW YORK RANGERS

HRR Bonanza!!

Troy Says: Another Original Six matchup! I love it! This one should be very tight. Callahan has been everything for the Rangers and with Lundqvist between the pipes they are going to be extremely tough. Boston is coming off one of the biggest Game 7 comebacks in playoff history (first team to comeback from 3 goals down in the 3rd period of a game 7) so they are certainly going to be emotionally charged. The Rangers are obviously a much different team than the Leafs and they boast much more playoff experience so they will not be a pushover. i honestly don’t have a feel for which team has the advantage in this series. In a series like this is tends to come down to goaltending and New York has the advantage there.

Rangers in 6.

Glen Says: Which team should be more excited about their Game 7 win?

The Rangers looked bad in the first two games of the series but once they got going, they never looked back. Henrik Lundqvist, the best goalie in the world is coming into this series on back-to-back shutouts and they got the win despite Rick Nash and Brad Richards not showing up much on the score sheet. If those two guys can start to play to their level, and if Chris Kreider can recapture some of the playoff magic he had last year, these guys could really make some noise.
The Bruins on the other hand are a curious story. In Games 1,3, and the last few minutes of Game 7 they looked like world beaters, but the rest of the series they looked pretty average. People are, quite rightly, praising the Leafs for hanging with the Bruins, but shouldn’t they also be asking the Bruins why they played down to the Leafs level for so long? How can a team this good be down 4-1 against a team like the Leafs? The Bruins need to figure this out or they will be in trouble. Lucky for them their Marchand-Bergeron-Seguin like finally clicked in the dying minutes of Game 7, hopefully they can keep delivering when their backs aren’t against the wall.
I took the Bruins to make the Conference final at the start of the playoffs, so I better stick with it but I think that this series will be a lot closer than I initially predicted.
Bruins in 7

Coin Says: Rangers in 4

QUICK HITS
Troy Says: 
Blackhawks over Kings in 7
Senators over Rangers in 5

Blackhawks over Senators in 6 (If it goes 7, Anderson gets the Conn Smythe no question)

Glen Says:
Kings over Blackhawks in 7
Penguins over Bruins in 6

Penguins over Kings in 6

 

Coin Says:

Kings over Blackhawks in 5
Rangers over Senators in 7

Rangers over Kings in 5

Judging by the way things went in the first round we better put our money on the Rangers here…

May 01

NHL Playoffs: Eastern Conference First Round Predictions That Will No Doubt Be Proven Wrong

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Welcome back to the second set of first round predictions. Here we will look at the Eastern Conference. Will the Penguins dominate as expected or will the big bad Bruins have something to say about it? Both the Rangers and Capitals have been peaking of late, so one of those hot streaks will come to an end. Let’s not forget that the three Eastern Canadian teams are in the playoffs, and we are getting our first all Canadian series since 2004, so that’s pretty exciting!

#1 PITTSBURGH PENGUINS vs. #8 NEW YORK ISLANDERS

The Sidney Crosby Injury Watch

 

Glen Says: While everyone expects this series to be short, and they are probably right. These games may be closer than some people expect. While the Penguins won the season series 4-1 but three of those wins came in Pittsburgh’s undefeated month of March and they haven’t played since the Islanders really took off in the last month of the season. Expect Tavares to really arrive on the big stage with this series and Evgeni Nabokov to remind people that he was a pretty damn good goalie back in San Jose. Don’t get me wrong, the Isles aren’t taking this to seven or anything, but I expect this to be like the old Dallas-Edmonton series that Dallas would continually win in four or five, but every game would be tight and fun to watch.

 

Penguins in 5

 

Troy Says: Well this is basically the Eastern Conference’s version of CHI-MIN. No question Chicago was the best team in the league in the regular season but Pittsburgh was not far behind. Especially when looking at the second half of the season. Don’t forget that Pittsburgh has been without Crosby and Malkin for a while now but they haven’t skipped a beat. It’s been impressive. This is an incredibly deep team and the Islanders simply can’t match. The weakest link in Pittsburgh may be their goaltending. Fleury can sometimes be an enigma. He has the ability to lead a team to Stanley Cup but he can also stink out the joint. Still though, I’m pretty sure I could play goal for the Pens in this series and still win.

Penguins in 4.
Coin Says:  Penguins in 5

 

Expect to Hear: ”The last time the Islanders won a playoff series was against the Penguins in ’93 when Sidney Crosby was 5, Jonathan Tavares was 2. What a coincidence we were all 20 years younger then!”

#2 MONTREAL CANADIENS vs. #7 OTTAWA SENATORS

The Anti-Rivalry-Rivalry

 

Glen Says: Somehow, someway these two teams have shared a division for over 20 years and have never once played one another in the playoffs. These two teams are the closest geographically of any two Canadian teams yet have absolutely no rivalry to speak. Their fan bases have even bonded over their mutual loathing of the Leafs. Hopefully this series will find a way to kick start a blood feud here. The Sens must be tickled that they not only spoiled a Toronto-Montreal love fest, but they also got their ideal matchup in the first round. The Sens would have been in a lot of trouble against the Bruins or Penguins, but they matchup well against the Habs. Think about it: Subban vs. Karlsson, Anderson vs. Price, The Calder Line vs. Galenchuk and Gallagher, these teams are a lot more even than the standings would indicate. Both teams are even limping their way into the playoffs.

These same Sens took last years Rangers to seven games, and last years Rangers are a much better team than this years Habs.

Senators in 7

Troy Says: This one tears my heart out. The Habs are my favourite team but Ottawa is probably number two. I love seeing an all Canadian series but I hate seeing it in the first round. Seems like such a waste. I’m really looking forward to this series though. It should be incredibly tight. This year I had the chance to go to my very first Habs game and it was against Ottawa (sans Karlsson). Montreal won 4-3 in a shootout and it was a fantastic game. It was probably the most fun I’ve ever had with my pants on. Much like in the West this is a 2 vs 7 series that really doesn’t feel like one. All year long Ottawa’s depth and character has been tested and they’ve come through with flying colours whereas for whatever reason all the success Montreal has had feels odd. I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop. So far it hasn’t but I can’t shake this feeling that they’re not the team I want them to be. I think Ottawa may expose that.

Ottawa in 6. (Can you believe that??)
Coin Says: Senators in 5

Expect to Hear: ”This is the first playoff meeting of these two teams since 1927. We used to agree that these Senators weren’t the same as the old ones, but since we called that team in Winnipeg the Jets we’re kind of forced to now…”

#3 WASHINGTON CAPITALS vs. #6 NEW YORK RANGERS

Fourth Time in Five Years: Get Ready for Divisional Playoffs Next Year!!!

Glen Says: This series, again? Have two teams met so frequently yet hated one another so little? Last years second round series was the most boring shot-blockingest series I can remember. Thankfully though, Dale Hunter is out and Adam Oates is in, oh and that Russian guy is playing about a thousand times better now than he was a year ago. I think that this will be the closest series taking place and we will see some legitimately amazing games from some truly elite players. The two guys under the most scrutiny will be Rick Nash, to see if he can be on the winning end of a playoff game in his career, and Braden Holtby, to see if he can duplicate his success from last year. I know which of those two I have faith in.

Rangers in 7

Troy Says: The two playoff chockiest teams get to play each other again. This one should be different though. First of all Ovechkin finally got over his love of Ice Dance and decided to start playing hockey again and wow has he been good. I’m not 100% sure on my stats but I think he had 234 goals in the last 15 games of the season. On the other side of the coin New York is an incredibly deep team lead by a Captain who is incredibly tenacious and completely capable of putting this team on his back and willing them to a win. In the last couple seasons Callahan has really begun to impress me. In the end I think Ovechkin is going to drag his team through this round. He’s a sleeping giant who has finally awoken.

Washington in 7
Coin Says: Rangers in 7

Expect to Hear: ”Can you believe that he only scored 6 goals in 7 games? Ovechkin is such a choker. Look at that Brad Richards, he got 4 points in 7 games, he’s so clutch.”

#4 BOSTON BRUINS vs. #5 TORONTO MAPLE LEAFS

Nothing of Interest Here, Nope, Not a Series of Lopsided Trades That Helped Define Both Franchises

Glen Says: This will be an unmitigated slaughter, plain and simple. The Bruins have stumbled a bit to close the season, but let’s not forget: this is essentially the same team that won the Cup two years ago. Sure you can replace Thomas with Raask, Recchi with Jagr, and Kaberle with Redden, but I’ll be damned if those aren’t lateral moves at worst, and more than likely full scale improvements. These guys can and will flip the switch and the Leafs will be in their way.

Even as an abject Leaf hater, it’s hard not to be a little caught up in their stories. Nazem Kadri finally arrives, Reimer plays so well that Luongo is stuck in Vancouver, but this will be a tough one.

Bruins in 4

Troy Says: I would love nothing more than to see Toronto knock off Boston in this series but unfortunately for Leafs fans I just don’t see it happening. Boston is deeper, tougher and bigger. Toronto’s best offensive threat is Kessel and for whatever reason he disappears against his former team. In 22 games against Boston he’s scored 3 goals. None of which were even strength. The plus here for Toronto could be Reimer. He has played very well against Boston of late and if he can outplay Rask he will give his team a chance. In the end I think the Bruins will be too much.

Boston in 6
Coin Says: Boston in 5

Expect to Hear: ”Kessel for Seguin and Hamilton isn’t the only time the Leafs made a bad trade with the Bruins. On November 9, 1954 the Leafs acquired Joe Klukay for Leo Bovin and well we all know how that worked out…”

Quick Hits:

Glen Says:

#1 Pittsburgh Penguins over #7 Ottawa Senators in 6

#4 Boston Bruins over #6 New York Rangers in 6

 

#1 Pittsburgh Penguins over #4 Boston Bruins in 5

 

Troy Says: 

#1 Pittsburgh Penguins over #7 Ottawa Senators in 5

#4 Boston Bruins over #3 Washington Capitals in 7

 

#1 Pittsburgh Penguins over #4 Boston Bruins in 7

 

Coin Says:

#7 Ottawa Senators over #1 Pittsburgh Penguins in 5

#6 New York Rangers over #5 Boston Bruins in 6

 

#6 New York Rangers over #7 Ottawa Senators in 4

So that means that the Stanley Cup Final will be…

Glen Says: Pittsburgh Penguins over St. Louis Blues in 5

Troy Says: Pittsburgh Penguins over Chicago Blackhawks in 7

Coin Says: New York Rangers over Chicago Blackhawks in 7

…go home coin, you’re drunk!!!
Apr 20

NHL Playoff Matchups: 5 Most and Least Interesting Possibilities

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The NHL season is quickly winding down as teams finish out there final four or five games. The playoff picture seems to be coming clear. With it, it’s hard not to get excited for some of the possibilites. Sure we won’t get a Flyers-Penguins matchup again, but there are still some interesting possibilites.

In this post we’ve gone through the different possibilities and are only going to be looking at the ones that have a higher than 20% chance according to Sports Club Stats and are calculated before Saturday’s games.. When considering “interesting” we have a few criteria here namely historical rivalry, even match-up, and intriguing storyline.

The Least Interest Match-ups: With all due respect to these teams and athletes, these five matchups would probably be at the bottom of the priority list.

Honourable Mention:

Boston Bruins vs. New York Islanders – Can a series end in three?

Washington Capitals vs. Ottawa Senators – Capital series…I guess

Vancouver Canucks vs. St. Louis – Would the underdogs be the favourites?

#5. Los Angeles Kings vs San Jose Sharks

Probability of Occurring: 22.2%

Sure these two have the very manufactured “Battle of California” thing going on, and sure they had a fun series a few years back but things are very different. Since then the Sharks have declined and the Kings have improved leaps and bounds. Even though this series would be a 4-5 matchup, it would be a clear curb-stomping. The Kings outmatch the Sharks in virtually every category, especially grit and clutch, which are the two most important things in the playoffs.

#4. Washington Capitals vs. Toronto Maple Leafs

Get ready for a lot of this at both ends of the ice

Probability of Occurring: 23.1%

If the Leafs continue their little slide and the Caps keep their charge, this series could be quite likely as the 3-6 matchup in the East. Oddly these two teams have never met in the playoffs, which is a little strange considering how long they have both been around for. These two squads both have goaltenders who are young and looking to prove that they are for real. Of course that could be an interesting storyline, but a series victory for either Holtby or Reimer wouldn’t go too far towards proving anything, just that they were less terrible than the other one. Although it would be kind of fun to watch the winner of this series get eaten alive by either Boston or Pittsburgh in the second round.

#3. Chicago Blackhawks vs. Dallas Stars

Probability of Occurring: 23%

These two teams had some interesting series back when one team had the word “North” in their name but those days are long gone. Not only have they never met in the playoffs since the team arrive in Texas, but they haven’t even made the playoffs in the same year since 1997 when both teams lost in the first round. But more importantly, the Stars would be total killjoys for the Hawks more interesting possible opponents (see below).

#2. Anaheim Ducks vs. Minnesota Wild

Probability of Occurring: 54.2%

If you forgot that this series occurred in 2007 then congratulations, you may be a member of the Anaheim Ducks or Minnesota Wild. Of course their 2003 Battle of Cinderella Western Conference final is slightly more memorable, but is still the least discussed series from the (then Mighty) Ducks miracle run that year. These two teams have some good high end talent and there’s probably an Olympic preview to be discussed as Parise and Sutter take on Getzlaf and Perry, but to imagine a team in Southern California playing for Canadian pride sounds just plain wrong. By my math this is the most likely scenario to occur, and both teams seem to be limping into the playoffs, so expect one of these teams to limp a little longer and give one of the real-deals in the West a bit of a break in the next round.

#1. Montreal Canadiens vs. Ottawa Senators

Probability of Occurring: 20.4%

He totally deserved that for costing us a Leafs-Habs series

Please Ottawa, don’t screw this up. You know what we all want, take a dive if you have to, playing the Capitals won’t be so bad. Full disclosure time, the main reason I don’t want this is because I’m a Sens fan. Most of Canada forgets that we’re even an actual hockey team, I don’t want them to start hating us for denying them the dream series.

Of course this means that it’s totally going to happen now…

The Most Interest Match-ups: If these ones happen get ready to call in sick.

Honourable Mention:

Vancouver Canucks vs. San Jose Sharks - Battle of Underachievers totally writes itself

Pittsburgh Penguins vs. New York Rangers - Henrik Lundqvist could sure make this one interesting

Pittsburgh Penguins vs. New York Islanders - Remember all of those fights from a few years back? They sure don’t!

#5. Chicago Blackhawks vs. Columbus Blue Jackets

Probability of Occurring: 23%

Sure it would be a slaughter, sure it’s unlikely, but hot-damn it’s hard not to get excited about #Lumbus right now and for all intents and purposes, this is their only real possible opponent. Although it may be a little sad to realize that in life David doesn’t beat Goliath.

#4. Los Angeles Kings vs. St. Louis Blues

Probability of Occurring: 23.8%

Please sir may I have some more…

Their second round meeting last year seems like an eternity ago, doesn’t it? The Blues were a team that came out of nowhere to finish second in the conference while the Kings, considered early season contenders, fell off most people’s radars and got hot at the right time, much to the Blues chagrin. If there is any team that has a chance to be a surprise-but-not-really in the West it’s the Blues. They were considered strong contenders to do some damage out West before the season started but some early struggles have them in the middle of the pack instead of the top, where they perhaps belong. If they get going, watch out. If there’s one team that they would love to get going against, it’s the guys that beat them last year and hoisted the silver. Sure the hockey could be boring, but the story-lines would be fun to watch.

#3. Boston Bruins vs. Toronto Maple Leafs

Probability of Occurring: 27.2%

“THANK YOU KESSEL!” *clap clap clap clap clap*

Sure it would be a slaughter, but damn would it be fun to watch the Toronto media find someone to blame for all those games that Seguin, Hamilton, and Raask steal. Expect the lines in the papers to change from “Haven’t made the playoffs since 2004″ to “Haven’t won a playoff game since 2004″.

#2. Chicago Blackhawks vs. Detroit Red Wings

Probability of Occurring: 39%

Sorry Columbus, but this is a more interesting matchup. With the Red Wings moving eastward, this could be the last time that we see this series for a very, very, long time. These two have the fourth most frequent showdown of any playoff pairings in the NHL history and it would be a nice thing for the fanbases to get a bit of closure before they’re ripped apart from one another. Oh and NBC would love it too…

#1. Montreal Canadiens vs. Toronto Maple Leafs

This rivalry runs deep…

Probability of Occurring: 32%

If Canada is looking to quash it’s reputation for being docile, this is the best way to do it. A playoff matcup between these two venerable franchises that have deep cultural and historic ties in the country in the Twitter Age will see nothing but hatred and venom get thrown around. We may see a Canadian civil war start over this.

Please, please, please, this needs to happen, it’s hard not to get excited over the essays that this series will start, the Sharks-Jets like turf war that’ll brew all across the country, and the downright dirty plays that we’ll see on the ice.

Of course, if anyone can screw it up it’ll be the Leafs. Lord knows they don’t even give their own fan base what they want, why would they care about the rest of us?

Jan 19

Eastern Conference Predicted Standings

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…apparently there is going to be an NHL Season and soon! I’m sure this is the first time you’ve heard about it.

With the rush between the CBA being officially signed and the puck dropping tomorrow it’s hard to do a full-fledge prediction blog. As such, we here at Bladejobs of Steel going to do a very quick 15-1 Countdown of each Conference. Of course with a variety of changes to big teams, a short schedule, and other mitigating factors like travel and game shape of the players make this season much harder to predict than usual, as such it would not be a huge shock to see every single one of these end up wrong.

Before we start, just a quick general prediction: more than ever strength of the divisions will have an effect on standing. In a normal 82 game schedule teams play their four division rivals six times each for just under 30% of their games against their closest rivals. In this strange 48 game season teams play four games against two division rivals and five against the other two for just under 38% of their total games. While that may seem like a small increase, but when 7 points separated 1st in the East from 6th, this could make a hug difference in standings for teams in tough divisions like the Atlantic.

Today we’ll look at the Eastern Conference where teams like the Hurriances Sabres, and Rangers made huge changes, will they pay off? Will the clock strick 12 for the Cinderella Panthers and Senators? Will a healthy Crosby change anything?

The answers to all of these questions (and more) is…

15. Montreal Canadiens: Let’s see they were 15th last year, made no significant additions last year and their best skater has yet to report to camp. Galynchuk should put up big numbers in his rookie year, but he may end up having Nathan McKinnon on Jonathan Druin as a linemate soon enough.

14. Winnipeg Jets: Last year they had a staggering 23-13-5 record at home, but that really is not sustainable for a team that’s this bad. Pavelec and Kane both tried to play in the KHL during the lockout but could not hack it, Byufglien’s questionable fitness may hurt him in a sprint of a season, and let’s not forget the very long road trips they are forced to go on for still being in the Eastern Conference. Expect Scheifele to be in contention for the Calder as one of the few bright spots on this team. Let’s not forget, they are still very much the Atlanta Thrashers.

13. Toronto Maple Leafs: Yes, three Canadian teams will fight it out for last place in the Eastern Conference. The Leafs have yet to make any noticeable improvement since the last lockout and are the only team to not make the playoffs between Lockouts II and III, don’t expect them to change that just yet. Tyler Bozak is still not a first line centre, no matter how much they try and convince him otherwise.

12. New York Islanders: These guys are probably the hardest team in the East to figure out. Someday the young pieces will fit together and this team will be great. Tavares should build off his point-a-game season and players like Kyle Okposo and Josh Bailey can’t be waiting to break through forever, can they? Sure Rick DiPietro may be the very definition of a goaltending question but Evgeni Nabokov could return to his San Jose Sharks form. Of course, everything could easily go wrong and they could end up with Seth Jones next year.

11. Florida Panthers: The strange, strange chemistry experiment paid off last year. Last year Kevin Dineen was able to get career years out of so many castaways like Kris Versteeg, Tomas Fleishcmann, and Jose Theodore. However it seems unlikely to happen again. Add in the fact that they benefitted greatly from a terrible Southeast Division last year and expect the other teams to be much better this year.

10. Tampa Bay Lightning: Lindback and Carle are interesting additions but they just can’t be the answer. Lindback has never played more than 22 games in a season and let’s not forget the Chris Mason and Dan Ellis lesson: it’s easy for a goalie to look great with Shea Weber in front of you. Sure Guy Boucher is a great coach, but it’s not quite enough to get this team back into the promised land.

9. New Jersey Devils: Wait, weren’t they just playing for the Stanley Cup a few months back? Last years great playoff run will be a distant memory soon enough. The loss of Captain Zach Parise and Assistant Coach Adam Oats will have a huge impact on this team. Add in the fact that Martin Brodeur and Patrick Elias are not getting any younger and we have a team that should certainly regress.

8. Buffalo Sabres:  Last year this team was among the best in the league in the second-half of the season after they recovered from a terrible start to the season. The additions of Steve Ott and John Scott will no doubt add to their toughness. Not really sure who will be their first line centre, but expect a good enough year from Ryan Miller to get them to the dance.

7. Ottawa Senators: Sure they may be my personal favourite team, but it’s hard not to be excited for this squad right now. They surpassed everyone’s expectations last year by making the playoffs and taking the vaunted Rangers to 7 games. All of their great young talent is a year older, and the high proportion of games against the Leafs and Canadiens will help them immensely. Lastly, with the high volume of games their goaltending platoon of Anderson, Bishop and maybe even Lehner will help them immensely.

6. Washington Capitals: If this were a full 82 game season this team could certainly win the division, but switching to a new coach in Adam Oates who is going to be the exact opposite of their old coach Dale Hunter may give them a rough start out of the gate. Add in the fact that Braden Holtby is probably less Ken Dryden and more Patrick Lalime. This team should be in the hunt to win the Southeast division down the stretch but will just fall short, which sends them all the way down to 6th.

5. Philadelphia Flyers: This is essentially the same team that finished 5th last year. They looked great in the first round of the playoffs against Pittsburgh but terrible in the second round against New Jersey. The loss of Bobrovsky does hurt them more than one may think, but hopefully Bryzgalov is able to find earth this season.

4. Pittsburgh Penguins: Here we go again, another Flyers-Penguins first round war! What more could the NHL want? If Crosby stays healthy and Fleury can rebound from his rough playoffs then this team will be scary and should be in contention for the top spot in the Conference, however playoff seedings being what they are, and they are stuck in the 4th spot.

3. Carolina Hurricanes: On paper they are the most improved team in the East and it should show in reality. Alexander Semin should be motivated with a one year contract on a new team and the Staal brothers should bring out the best in one another. Cam Ward is one of those good year-bad year goalies, and it’s his turn to have a good year. Add in the fact that they did well under Kirk Muller last year and there’s little reason to expect otherwise again.

2. New York Rangers: Here we rant on the schedule again: this team should be the best team in the East and perhaps even contend for the President’s Trophy, yet they are stuck playing a ton of games against the Flyers, Penguins and Devils which should hurt their spot in the standings. Nevertheless, there is no reason to think that they can’t win the division again. Last year they were one of the best teams in the league and then they went out and added Rick Nash while not losing too much in the process. Expectations will be very high on Broadway and for good reasons.

1. Boston Bruins: It’s Tuuka Time! Sure the loss of Tim Thomas hurts, but as long as Chara is still there then there is no need to panic. This team is essentially the same group of guys that won the Cup in 2011 and was running over the league in the first half of the season last year. Add in the fact that they benefit more from the schedule than any other team in the East and there is little reason to think that they aren’t a show-in for their division and a strong contender for top spot in the East.

 

As for the playoffs: Boston beats Buffalo in an absolute war, the Rangers make shorter work of then Sens than they did last year, the Capitals “upset” the Hurricanes and the Penguins get revenge on the Flyers. This leads us to Boston beating Washington and Pittsburgh beating the Rangers before Pittsburgh beats Boston to make it to the finals to face…

Wait until next post and find out.

Apr 11

NHL Playoffs: Another Pair of Idiots Guide to Every Series in the Eastern Conference and the Stanley Cup Finals

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Yesterday, myself and special guest Troy looked at the playoff series in the West, today we’ll look at the East, which features the real marquee matchup of the first round in Philly-Pittsburgh.

#1 New York Rangers vs. #8 Ottawa Senators

The Battle of teams that are 6-8 places ahead of their pre-season predictions! That’s right, the Senators were expected to be near the bottom of the Conference, while the Rangers were thought to be a bubble team, sitting in their usual 7-9 spot, but yet, here we are. Both teams have worked very hard and been very well coached to get to this point, but the clock will strike 12 for one of these Cinderellas very soon.

Troy Says: How surprised is everyone to see the Sens on the playoffs? I don’t think there were many people this year that thought they had it in them. Karlsson has emerged as one of the best defencemen in the league. According to NHL.com he’s joined by Bobby Orr, Paul Coffey, and Denis Potvin as the only players to lead blueliner scoring by more than 20 points. That’s just flat out impressive. Their goaltending has also been good this year even though Anderson has been inconsistent at times. The play of Alfredsson and Spezza has been a big boost and their veteran leadership will certainly help this team. Too bad they’re up against the Rangers though. New York is a team I’ve enjoyed making fun of for the last number of years because they’ve been trying to buy their way to a cup and each time they’ve fallen flat on their faces. This year though they’ve finally got it right. Brad Richards has fit in very nicely and their young D corps has been impressive. Add to that Lundqvist in the net and this will be a hard team to beat. The only chance Ottawa has it to outscore them, which they are capable of doing.

Most Interesting Story: Goaltending, goaltending, and goaltending! The Senators have been striking gold all season with their men in the cage. First Anderson plays dynamite, and then when he gets hurt, Lehner steps in, and then they give Bishop a whirl and he looks great too. It doesn’t matter who they seem to put in, they seem to have some success.

Success, though is in the eye of the beholder, as few goalies have been as successful as current Vezina favourite, and potential Hart Trophy nominee, Henrik Lundqvist, who has been absolutely lights out this year. These two teams oddly match up very well in every other position, great playmaking centre, dynamic (but injury prone) scoring winger, and some great young d-men, but when it comes to the most important position, it’ll be like Ancient Rome. The Senators may have to bow to the King, but it’ll be a close fight to the end.

Et tu Bishop?

Most Interesting Stat: The Rangers earned 17 more points than the Sens this year, and allowed 53 less goals than they did. Both of these differences are tops amongst all of the playoff matchups this year. That being said, the Sens scored 23 more goals than the Rangers.

Glen’s Prediction: Rangers in 7 with both teams combining for four shutouts along the way.

Troy’s Prediction: For my money though this is New York’s series.

New York in 6

Coin’s Prediction: Senators in 7

#2 Boston Bruins vs. #7 Washington Capitals

Let’s see, where do we even start here? The defending champions taking on a team that thinks “Because it’s the Cup” is a reference to their Jock Straps? Or Tim Thomas exercising his rights as a Free Citizen by winning some games in DC, or will that damn Lamestream Media throw him off his game?

This is a simply fascinating series both on and off the ice and will no doubt provide endless analysis going forward.

Troy Says: This is not going to be a fun series for Washington. Washington is a team that tends to choke in the playoffs and they’re going against the defending champs. Not good. What is good though is that Ovechkin finally decided in the last few weeks to put the team back on his shoulders again and he has been his old self which is fun to see.

Most Interesting Story: Toughness! You have one team that is perceived as being soft against another team that often has the words “Big” and “Bad” in front of their name. Both teams have a ton to prove.

Chara vs. Ovechkin will be the most interesting matchup on the ice to watch for the next two weeks. Both men are big, both men can hit, and both men can take a hit. Chara is one of the best in the league and slowing guys down, but if Ovechkin is truly motivated than he’ll have his work cut out for him.

Most Interesting Statistic: The Boston Bruins scored 61 more goals than they allowed this year, far and away tops in the NHL, while the Capitals allowed 8 more than they scored. The Caps join their division rival Florida as the only teams in the league to make the playoffs with a negative goal differential.

Glen’s Prediction: Bruins in 4 with both Alex’s combining for only 2 goals

Troy’s Prediction: This could be a fun high scoring series, but it’s not going to last long.

Boston in 4.

Coin’s Prediction: Capitals in 6

#3 Florida Panthers vs. #6 New Jersey Devils

Much has been said about how little the Panthers deserve this spot. They backed into the three seed with a series of losses, they only have the sixth best record in the Conference, they have an embarrassing -24 goal differential, they lost a zillion games in overtime, and I heard some people blame them for both the Kennedy Assassination and the hole in the ozone layer. But the fact is, all of this doesn’t matter. Sure the standings probably should be changed, but they haven’t been. The 2012 Florida Panthers are not the first inferior team to benefit from the standings, and probably won’t be the last one. Right now everyone has zero wins and that’s all that matters.

Troy Says: Florida?? Really? They still have a team? Wow….and not only are they in the playoffs but they won their division so they actually have home ice against the Devils. As much as I like to make fun of this team they are worthy of their position. They don’t have that high end talent but they are consistent and can wear you down. The Devils however do have that high end talent. And they have three 30 goal scorers this season so if one cylinder isn’t firing, they have lots more to go to. Add to that Marty Brodeur who – even though he’s gotta be in his 50s by now – is still a damn good goalie and I think Florida’s return to the post season will be short lived.

Interesting Matchup: Coaching! Peter DeBoer was hired as the Panthers coach, was given nothing, and then thrown under the bus for it. Thankfully he was given another chance by the Devils this year and made the most of it, helping them return to the playoffs and post over 100 points in the process.
But rookie head coach Kevin Dineen has been pretty great this year too, sure Dale Tallon gets a ton of credit for his July 1 chemistry experiment working out, but Dineen was there to make sure that it didn’t blow up in anyone’s face.
Interesting Stat: This is only the third first round series since the Lockout between two teams that both didn’t make the playoffs the year before. The other two were both in 2008, Montreal-Boston and Washington-Philadelphia.

Glen’s Prediction: New Jersey Devils in five with three of the games going to overtime.

Troy’s Prediction:  New Jersey is like Detroit in that once they’re in the playoffs all bets are off.

New Jersey in 6.

Coin’s Prediction: Devils in 5

#4 Pittsburgh Penguins vs. #5 Philadelphia Flyers
This is the absolute main event! This series will be a rough, high scoring affair featuring two of the most exciting and dynamic teams in the league. These two teams have a chance to show everyone what’s right about our beautiful game, but also what’s wrong with it. Hopefully they make the right choices.
Troy Says: This is the series everyone wanted. I can’t wait! The only shame is that this is happening in the first round and not the third. This series is worthy of a Conference Final and at the end of it, a very good cup contending team will be going home. Philly is a tough team, much tougher than Pittsburgh, but they also boast some serious offensive ability. It’s this toughness that will be hard on Pittsburgh. Also, for the first time in a long time, Philly finally has a legitimate and unquestioned number one goalie in Bryzgalov. He stunk out the joint last year in the playoffs with Phoenix so he’ll definitely be looking to atone so look for him to be strong. Other than the toughness, Pittsburgh can counter everything Philly has. Pittsburgh has unreal talent up front and a solid defensive group that will make life tough for the Flyers. Behind it all you have the reliable Marc-Andre Fleury and that’s what could tip this series. This one could go the distance.
Most Interesting Matchup: It may be cliche to say goaltending here, but how could it be anything else?
In the red corner you have a calm, cool, collected goalkeeper who showed Niklas Lidstrom how clutch he could be back in 2009. In the blue corner you have a man best known for waxing poetically about masks and the size of the universe.
How these two men perform when it counts will be a fantastic story to watch for the next few weeks.
Most Interesting Statistic: Despite these two being labeled as blood rivals, they’ve only met in the playoffs five times before, with two of those coming post-Lockout. The Flyers have faced the Rangers twice as many times in the playoffs, with the Penguins most common playoff opponent being the Washington Capitals.

Glen’s Prediction: Pittsburgh win in six of the best game you’ve ever seen

Troy’s Prediction:  Pittsburgh in 7.

Coin’s Prediction: Pittsburgh in 6

Quick Picks: The 2nd and 3rd Rounds

Glen Says: 

Devils over Rangers in 6 stunning games
Penguins over Bruins in 7 heavy games
Penguins over Devils in 5 to move on to face the Canucks
Finals have Penguins over Canucks in five with Crosby scoring the Overtime winner to leave the city very conflicted.

Troy Says:

NYR over New Jersey in 7 (Callaghan gives a Messier-like guarantee!)
Pittsburgh over Boston in 7
Finals: Penguins over Canucks in 6
Coin Says:

Penguins over Senators in 6
Devils over Capitals in 4
Penguins over Devils in 7
Finals: Detroit over Pittsburgh in 5

Does the coin know it’s not 2008 anymore?

Apr 09

Historical Stats for the Sixteen Playoff Bound Teams

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With the NHL Playoffs scheduled to start tomorrow, everyone and their mothers are throwing playoff predictions out there (expect some on here tomorrow by the way…), but before that, we should learn a bit about the sixteen teams headed to the big dance.

In this blog, we’ll look at some strange historical statistics for every team. Obviously not every team has an equal history — we’re looking at you Nashville — but there are some interesting and rather bizarre stats out there.

All stats come from Wikipedia, most of them from the List of [Insert Team Here] Seasons.

Boston Bruins: The Bruins and the Canadiens seem to need each other in a Batman-Joker kind of way — we’ll leave you to figure out which team is which comic book character. Dating all the way back to the Bruins inaugural season in 1924, they have only made the playoffs seven times previous to this when the Habs missed out. Of those times, they won the Stanley Cup once in 1970, lost in the second round once in 1999, and lost in the first round the other five of those times. They’ll look to buck that trend and not join the Canadiens on the golf course this time.

Chicago Blackhawks: Since losing the Stanley Cup Finals in 1992 to the Pittsburgh Penguins, the Blackhawks have only won nine playoff series, six of which came in 2009 and 2010!

Detroit Red Wings: If making the playoffs the past twenty seasons wasn’t impressive enough, they have only lost in the first round six of those times, with three of those loses coming in the first four years of this streak.

Florida Panthers: Since defeating the Pittsburgh Penguins on June 1, 1996 in the Eastern Conference Finals, the Florida Panthers are 1-12 in playoff games.

Los Angeles Kings: Since making it to the Stanley Cup Finals in 1993, the Kings have made the playoffs only six times, and were only able to win one playoff series, and that was eleven years ago now!

Ottawa Senators: The Senators have made the playoffs 12 times in their history. Nine of those times they were defeated by either the Buffalo Sabres, Toronto Maple Leafs, or Pittsburgh Penguins. Oddly those other three loses came in mile stone series for them. First trip to the second round, defeated by the Capitals. First trip to the third round, defeated by the Devils. First trip to the finals, defeated by the Ducks.

Pittsburgh Penguins: The last time the Pittsburgh Penguins lost a playoff series when they had Sidney Crosby, Evgeni Malkin, and Jordan Staal all in their lineups was the 2008 finals to the Detroit Red Wings.

Philadelphia Flyers: The franchise has lost their last six trips to the Stanley Cup finals (1975, 1980, 1985, 1987,1997, 2010), which ties the Detroit Red Wings six finals loses from 1956 to 1995 for longest streak in NHL history.

Nashville Predators: Last year, the Preds won six playoff games. In their previous five trips to the post-season, they won a total of eight.

New Jersey Devils: Despite going 2-5 in playoff series since the Lockout, the Devils are a stunning 22-17 in playoff series dating back to their miracle run in 1998.

New York Rangers: In the six previous times that the Rangers lead their division in the regular season, they tended to not do very well in the post-season. They were only able to win two rounds of the playoffs once during those years.

Bonus Stat: 87% of people said “94″ aloud after reading the last paragraph.

Phoenix Coyotes: The last time this franchise won a playoff series, Sidney Crosby was in his mothers womb. In the past 25 years, they have blown a 3-1 series lead three times, a 3-2 series lead once, and lost another game seven. This gives them a streak of 12 consecutive failed attempts to close out a series

San Jose Sharks: Their 21 seasons without a trip to the Stanley Cup Finals is second only to the Phoenix Coyotes/Winnipeg Jets 1.0 for longest of any active franchise in the league.

St. Louis Blues: Like the Panthers, the Blues are in a very long playoff slump. Since winning Game 4 against the Vancouver Canucks on April 16, 2003, the Blues have been an abysmal 1-11 in the playoffs since then.

Vancouver Canucks: Since the NHL assumed control of the Stanley Cup in 1926, the losing finalist has only ever won the Cup the next year six times, the ’33 Rangers, ’43 Red Wings, ’53 and ’68 Canadiens, ’84 Oilers, and ’09 Penguins. Being a true Canadian team, the ’12 Canucks would like to Make it Seven.

Washington Capitals: This franchise has blown a 3-1 series lead four times, tops of any team in the league.

 

Jan 25

Celebrating the Heel Turn of Tim Thomas

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Monday Tim Thomas skipped out on the Boston Bruins reception at the White House.  He said on his Facebook that it was because he was exercising his rights as a free citizen who disagreed with the work of the Federal Government, apparently due to his Tea Party sympathies.

This has received a hell of a lot of flack from the media, and is certain to be a distraction at the coming All-Star Weekend, especially in the Great White Northern Socialist Paradise.

While I couldn’t possibly disagree more with Thomas’s political views here, I personally admire him for his courage on this. Sure he was a Conn Smythe winner, but if someone like Brad Richards, Patrick Roy, or Nicklas Lidstrom refused to attend George Bush’s White House, I would have loved it. As such, I feel it would be completely hypocritical of me to shame Thomas here. He stood up for what he believed, and kudos to that. In the words of Voltaire “I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it”.

But enough about me, what’s more interesting is the reaction that this is getting.

In wrestling terms, there is no question that Tim Thomas was one of the few mega-faces in this game. He comes from humble beginnings, was a late round draft pick, had to ply his trade in Europe, and flat out worked his ass off to be the best in the league at what he does, which culminated in one of the best statistical seasons ever last year, which lead to him getting the Vezina and Conn Smythe trophies and his name on Hockey’s Holy Grail. What’s not to love about that story? He’s a regular Dusty Rhodes son-of-a-plumber blue collar good guy.

That is until today. Where he is sure to be booed like no tomorrow, especially in the more liberal markets like Ottawa, DC, LA, Chicago, and New York.

But why? He just did what he felt was right. The same people who are going to boo Thomas are the same people that defended the Dixie Chicks for speaking out against the war in Iraq and hated on the “dumb rednecks” who boycotted them.

This my friends, is a self justified heel turn of Bret Hart proportions. What made this turns so amazing in the 90s is the fact that Bret didn’t change, not one bit. No the fans changed. Bret Hart was such an amazing anti-American heel, because he was mad at the fans for cheering the beer swilling rule breaker who they should have booed by all logic.

Tim Thomas today is the exact same man whose tires were pumped by Roberto Luongo. He’s the exact same man who flat-out embarrassed the Vancouver Canucks last June. He’s the exact same man who we were all inspired by and couldn’t help but root for.

Except now we know something about him that we don’t like, and that somehow makes him a villain. Bret Hart refused to let go of the sharpshooter on Jerry Lawler in ’93 and we cheered. He did the same to Steve Austin in ’97 and suddenly he was the most hated man in the business.

What made Bret Hart such an amazing villain in the late 90s is the exact same thing that will make Tim Thomas a great villain now. They hold a mirror up to the world. They show everyone their true hypocritical nature. They are the sports (and sports entertainment) equivalent of Dorian Gray’s painting.

And for that we hate them.

Jan 12

Face/Off: A WWE Style Pay-Per-View Featuring NHL Players – Edition I

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Today on the excellent Marek vs. Wyshinski podcast they discussed the best Heels and Babyfaces in the NHL, there were some great mentions including Sean Avery, Brad Marchand, and Teemu Selanne. Honestly, I had considered that as a post for here, but now that they did that I would feel like more of a hack than I already do for posting that.

After thinking about the best heels and faces in the NHL, we can take it to the next obvious step, a full scale Wrestling Pay-Per-View Card featuring NHL Players in WWE Style (worked) matches. I hope this to be a recurring feature here on Blade Jobs of Steel, so here is the car (and the booking) for Face/Off.

Ryan Getzlaf/Cory Perry/Bobby Ryan vs. Rick Nash/Jeff Carter/James Wiznewski
Whoever Scores the Fall Gets Traded

We’ll start things out with a good six man tag to get the crowd pumped, featuring six men who shouldn’t find the bottom of the card a strange place. The RPG Line does have some established chemistry here, but don’t count out Wiznewski’s mean streak or Nash’s experience advantage. To sweeten the pot, we’ll add the stipulation that whoever gets the pinfall will be able to leave the sinking ship they are stuck on. It would certainly add some intrigue, especially if Getzlaf turns on Perry to steal the win.

Dustin Penner vs. Dustin Byfuglien
Sumo Match

This match pretty much has to happen. I considered making this a Pancakes on a Pole Match, but I don’t want to watch either man try to climb.

Marc Savard vs. Matt Cooke

This has redemption story written all over it. Is Savard medically cleared to fight? Even more compelling, with Cooke now as a face, he would clearly be apologetic for his actions. Savard, being a Bruin, could go full heel, refusing to forgive him and seek out vengeance, needing an eye-for-an-eye from Cooke.

Phil Kessel (w/Brian Burke) vs. Taylor Hall (w/Kevin Lowe)
Barnyard Brawl!!!

Since Anonymous General Manager Gary Bettman refused to allow Burke and Lowe to have this match, they could easily pick players to have the match on their behalf. Burke would obviously take the Wisconsin born superstar, and Lowe could take Hall as a taunting “You could have had him if you didn’t trade for Kessel” move. Since the Barnyard is one step above the Thunder Dome, this match would be full of interference from just about everyone. I would be interested in seeing how Penner would react to this match, but he would clearly be gassed after his own match.

Ilya Bryzgalov’s Interview Segment: Behind the Masks

After the huge over-booked match before, a good promo would fit here nicely. In the spirit of Piper’s Pit, the Highlight Reel, and Peep Show, we have our new wrestling talk show featuring everyone’s favourite rambling Russian, who will show us what he’s like behind the many masks that he wears. The guest is kind of inconsequential to me, because they would just distract us from Ilya dropping some Bryzgoledge on us.

Scott Gomez vs. Rick DiPietro vs. Roberto Loungo
vs. Vincent LeCavalier vs. Ville Leino vs. Ilya Kovalchuk
Money in the Bank Ladder Match – Winner Gets to Keep Their Ridiculous Contract

This match featuring six of the most untradeable players whose name doesn’t rhyme with Romas Raberle is sure to be heated. All of their contracts would be suspended high above the ring in a briefcase and a chaotic ladder match would take place where the winner gets to keep their own. All six of these guys want to be able to keep getting paid to not score, get injured, pump tires, play on the second line, or whiff in a shootout and are sure to fight tooth and nail to not have to take a pay cut.

Ryan Smyth vs. Cal Clutterbuck
Hair vs. Hair Match

The Mullet vs. The Moustache in a ultimate showdown for hockey hair. I think that Clutterbuck has the edge, but it’s hard to tell since the Minnesota statisticians would most certainly pad his win/loss record.

Jaromir Jagr vs. Artem Anisimov

The Russian Rifleman goes to take on the Sultan of Saluting. This should be a fun match with both men stealing each others taunts to get the crowd going. I could see this being a fun long feud to really help the younger Anisimov make a name for himself against the veteran. Mike Rupp and Scott Hartnell would be great to add as guest commentators.

Teemu Selanne vs. Niklas Lidstrom vs. Tim Thomas
Loser Ages

All three of these men have found the fountain of youth and continue to be excellent in their more venerable years. If they have a Triple Threat Match it’s sure to be an outright classic since all men can still go, but not for much longer. The man who takes the pinfall here would have to give in to Father Time and begin to play like their own age.

The Sedin Twins vs. The Bru-Tang Clan (Patrice Bergeron and Brad Marchand)
The Boston Bruins and Vancouver Canucks are the Lumberjacks

This is obviously a battle in the larger war of these two mega-stables looking to take over. Daniel and Henrik look to get revenge on the man that punched one of them a dozen times in the Stanley Cup Finals, and the two that scored the four goals to send their city ablaze. The ring will be surrounded by members of both teams, so it’s sure to get ugly. I think that whichever team you consider the heels should get the win here to really extend the feud.

Sidney Crosby vs. Alexander Ovechkin

The battle for the best in the world between two men who clearly have the talent but are falling under some hard times of late. Both men are looking for redemption against their arch rivals. Crosby has the advantage (World Juniors, 2009 Playoffs, and 2010 Olympics), will this streak continue?

…and that’s the show! Tune in later for another edition of Face/Off and we’ll see where things go from here.

Jan 10

New Years Resolutions for Top NHL and WWE Stars

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Even big stars in the WWE and NHL are looking to improve themselves. Like all the rest of us they make resolutions to improve themselves at the beginning of the year. Sometimes, they even follow through with them! We here at the world headquarters of Blade Jobs of Steel found their lists and are going to share them with you here in a world wide exclusive.

Note: List may or may not have been obtained through phone hacking

NHL Stars

  • Alex Burrows: Stop Playing Games on an Empty Stomach
  • Ilya Bryzgalov: His list was to huMANGous big to write down, but hey, you think we’ve got problems here?
  • Sean Avery: Get On The Internet More, Never Take Off Sunglasses, Drink More Orange Juice…Oh and Don’t Get Demoted to the AHL
  • Dustin Penner: Teach Wife to Make Waffles
  • Yevgeni Kuznetsov: Be More Like Those Cold Robotic Soviets That Canadians Hated So Much
  • The Boston Bruins: Continue to defend themselves from such dastards as Sami Salo and Ryan Miller. Those guys are dangerous, and hey, did you ever notice that they never get suspended?
  • Alexander Ovechkin: Stop shaving, Score Goals
  • Roberto Loungo: Make a Wooden Car — to simultaneously pump tires and ride the pine
  • Sidney Crosby: Get better, that’s not a joke, the game is no fun without him
  • Tyler Kennedy: Keep Rubbing Two Sticks Together, Eventually a Fire Will Start
  • Donald Fehr: Compromise with the NHL on Something (this was under “Hit the Gym”, “Keep in Touch with Old Friends”, and “Follow Through on New Year’s Resolutions…ha ha ha ha ha ha”)

WWE Stars

  • The Undertaker: Take on Hornswoggle at Wrestlemania to continue the D-X Gauntlet
  • CM Punk: Only Three More Divas For Bingo!
  • John Morrison: Publicly insult future Hall of Famers, it worked out so well in 2011!
  • Mid-Card Faces Treading Water: Partner with John Morrison, to turn heel on him and get a Main Event Run
  • Triple H: Work A Program With Another Young-Up-And-Comer — Undertaker and Kevin Nash are the future of this business!
  • Samoa Joe: Swap name on CM Punk’s WWE Contract and convince everyone the last six years have been a dream
  • Dolph Ziggler: Double Career Time as World Champion, that’s right 24 minutes this year!
  • The Rock: Never leave…until it’s time to leave again
  • John Cena: Cut moving promos, work 5 Star Matches, be the consummate company man, put over internet favourites, remain hated.