May 31

Another Pair of Idiots Guides to the Stanley Cup Final

The last six weeks have brought us here. Every strange twist and turn brought us here. For the first time since the current playoff format started in 1994, we have two teams that finished in the bottom half of their respective Conferences compete for the top prize in the land.

Joining the cavalcade of pundits who can never seem to get it right, we have our three “experts here” engaged in an epic picks competition.

Last round, the competitors that were in last place, Glen and the Coin both went 2-0 and both correctly predicted the Devils winning in 6, earning 3 points. While Troy, the man in first, went 1-1 while correctly predicting a Kings dismantling of the Coyotes, earning 2 points. This leaves all three competitors tied at 9 points, this is sure to be interesting!

STANLEY CUP FINALS

New Jersey Devils vs. Los Angeles Kings

Hands up if you saw this one coming. Nobody, right? This is probably the least predicted finals since Edmonton-Carolina back in 2006, which coincidentally is the only other time an 8th seed has made the finals.

A quick look at the standings and it’s easy to think of these teams as underdogs, both teams played all three series on the road to get here and they knocked off a combined 5 of the 6 division leaders on the way. However, a quick look beyond those numbers and you find something different, the Devils were tied with the Bruins and Red Wings for seventh most points in the entire league, while the Kings still had a chance to slide into 3rd in the West on the last day of the season.

Maybe that’s what makes these teams so interesting, their apparent contradictions. The Kings are loaded with fire power yet somehow struggle to score goals. The Devils have a history of stymying offense, yet are currently loaded with two of the most creative forwards in the league. The Kings defense improved when they sent away their second best defenseman in February. The Devils defense has been solid all post-season, despite the total absence of any recognizable names at the back end. The Kings goalie was expected to be a place holder for the next one to come in, yet is putting up some phenomenal numbers in this legendary run. Thee Devils goalie was expected to start passing the torch to some “next one”, yet is putting up some of the best numbers in his legendary career.

Troy Says: So no surprise to anyone. This is exactly the Final we were expecting. Pittsburgh vs Vancouver. Sidney vs Luongo. I tell you, I think it’s going to be a great series…….I’m sorry….did you just say the Stanley Cup is being played between Los Angeles and New Jersey? That can’t be right……I’m going to have to fire my secretary……

Holy crap! Who saw this coming??  I certainly didn’t! On one hand, although LA is in new territory it’s not a major shock to see them make it this far. They’ve had loads of talent for years now and with the additions they made in the off season it’s about time they meet their potential. On the other hand however…what the hell are the Devils doing here??
So who’s going to win the Cup? Good question. When Glen asked me my prediction I said the Rangers. Goes to show you how much I know. I’ve been trying to figure out which team I like better. Lets introduce “Troy’s Keys to the Cup” (TM) For LA, it’s pretty straightforward. They have to keep their offence going and let Quick do his thing on the back end. Their grit and experience from guys like Richards and Carter is going to significantly help them as they play in the Final for the first time since ’93 when some team from Montreal kicked their Hollywood butts and won their 24th Cup.
For New Jersey it’s not as straightforward. They need Kovy to keep up his amazing play. This is another thing I didn’t see coming. Kovalchuk has changed his game for the better. He’s not just a goal scoring machine. But now he actually back checks. Seriously! That is the kind of adaptability and leadership a team needs to win the cup and if they’re getting that out of a guy like Kovalchuk then there is a lot more than meets the eye to this team. (Transformers reference. Count it). Another key is of course Brodeur. It’s funny to think of Marty as the less consistent keeper in this series since I’m pretty sure his middle name is “Consistent” but that’s the case here. Quick is going to be tough to beat. No doubt about that. That means that Marty is going to have to match him save for save. Up until this magical run I didn’t think he had it in him but I was very much wrong.
In the end it’s still a tough decision. I don’t see a clear winner here. Part of me says I like the Kings better, but then another part of me says to never bet on New Jersey when they’re in the Final.

Most Interesting Story: How on earth could it not be goaltending? We have said this so many times this post-season it is truly fitting to have it come down to a matchup like this. Brodeur is trying to do it one more time while the young, upstart is trying to steal his own moment. This makes the most compelling individual matchup we’ve seen in the finals since the last time the Devils played a team from the LA Area.

Most Interesting Stat: Because it’s the finals, here are a host of semi-relevant statistics which are sure to interest someone.

- The 4,416km between the two arenas is the third highest distance between two finalists ever. Only Ducks-Sens (4,451km) and Kings-Canadiens (4,560km) racked up more Frequent Flyer Miles.
- Jonathan Quick was playing High School hockey the last time Brodeur was competing for the Stanley Cup
- Both teams have/had a Suter brother as a coach
- Both teams have/had a Ponikarovsky as a player
- Both teams have/had a Kovalchuk on the other side of the negotiating table
- This is the second consecutive year, and second year overall, that we’ve been guaranteed to have a non-Canadian hoist the Cup first
- These two franchises shared the old Smythe division for the 1981-82 season when the Devils were still the Rockies.
- Simon Gagne, Rob Scuderi, and Willie Mitchell were the only Kings were alive at that time, compared to ten members of the New Jersey Devils, the oldest team in the NHL this season.
- David Clarkson is the only member of the New Jersey Devils to be born in Ontario, compared to eight members of the LA Kings.
- Chances of Don Cherry bringing this up if the Kings win: 100%
- Chances of Don Cherry bringing this up if the Devils win: 0%

Glen’s Prediction: Kings in 6, with them finally losing a road playoff game in there.

Troy’s Prediction: I’m going to go with my gut and say Kings in 7. Should be a hell of a series.

Coin Says: Kings in 7 (coming back from 3-0 at that)

Looks like we all might finish tied in the end…

May 25

Weekly Plus/Minus: LA Kings Advance, Punk and Bryan Dazzle, Big Show Bores, Nobody Guarantees and More!

The Stanley Cup Finals are nearly set, while the WWE put on most of a good Pay-Per-View followed by a pretty average RAW. Needless to say there have been some highs and some lows this past week. Let’s get to it.

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When Punk Met Bryan: Their match at Over the Limit was faced with a very good (but difficult) problem. How could it possibly live up to it’s own hype? Heading into Sunday, this match was set up to become hyperbole.

Yet somehow, it delivered. These two went out and put on an absolute technical classic. These two traded holds, counters, and moves after moves after moves. The ending was amazing, with Punk reversing the Yes Lock into a pinning combination and then having a photo finish.

Somehow these two were able to deliver a great match with a slightly controversial finish that was both satisfying and left people wanting more.

How can anyone not be excited for the rematches between these two?

As the Big Show Turns: Has there been a heel or face turn more predictable in recent memory than this one?

Really, who the hell asked for this anyway? Big Show was going along just fine as a happy face that punches Cody Rhodes every so often, and could have transitioned nicely into a decent power feud to establish Tensai. So why this? There is a ton of fresh blood on the heel side who could easily feud with John Cena, so why do a rehash of the worst feud of 2009? It simply makes no sense in the long term and is downright boring in the short term.

To top things off, Show’s attack on Cena at the end of RAW seemed very dull. There is some potential for a Nuremberg style “Only Following Orders” heel and Show could do it, but it seems like he’s already evil.

Long Live the Kings: Mad congratulations are in order for the LA Kings. How could one not be impressed by these guys?

Even with Jonathan Quick having a bad (read: not super human) game the Kings are still able to get it done. They have four lines rolling and are simply amazing.

It’s great that the Kings may just be catching on in Southern California. They have rarely had traction in a very crowded sports market, so this run could help things out in the long run.

Us Against The World: Was anyone else struck by the paranoid nature of the Coyotes post game comments?

Mike Smith talks about how Dustin Brown should be “Gone Forever”,. Shane Doan says that he doesn’t know where he got those penalties. Keith Yandle says that having no owner somehow hurts the teams chances. One can’t help but wonder if the Coyotes helmets are lined with tinfoil.

Maybe this explains the success of the team in the last three years. Perhaps the culture of the team is to instill an Us Against the World mentality. They have no owner, they are given no credit, and yet the succeed. If true, it clearly works on the ice so there is no arguing.

But please, leave it in the dressing room, it looks classless, or at least they need to learn how to say “conspiracy” in French. They may need it come training camp…

As the Rumour Turns: With twenty-seven teams now focused on the off-season now, we’re finally starting to see the rumour mill heating up.

First we hear rumblings that Edmonton and Columbus are considering swapping picks — a great move for both teams.

Next we hear that Vancouver may keep both goalies, and that Tampa will try to draft or sign a goalie and may not make a trade after all — so clearly Luongo is going to Tampa, why would either team try to deny it at this point other than to drive up the market?

No matter what happens with Tampa, Vancouver, Edmonton, Columbus or anyone else, it’s great to be talking trades again!

Leave Messier Alone! Yes, everyone who was watching hockey in 1994 remembers Messier’s famous guarantee heading to New Jersey in Game 6. Yes, everyone who is watching know as well notices a similar situation.

But we should all notice that Messier isn’t playing anymore, so everyone needs to stop goading the Rangers into making a similar statement. Other than Martin Brodeur and Lou Lamorelio there are no connections between 1994 and 2012, leave it alone people.

It’s a historical curiosity and nothing more…unless Callahan gets a hat trick, then it’s getting eerie.

 

Prediction for the Week: Zack Praise scores a hat trick in Game 6 to clinch a trip to the Finals.

May 20

WWE Over the Limit: What Should Happen vs. What Will Happen

Randy Orton and his mutton chops will be in action this Sunday! - Photo from Wikimedia

With the WWE putting on their monthly extravaganza this Sunday, we will have the first of a regular series here at Blade Jobs of Steel. We will look at the event and examine what (probably) will happen according to current WWE logic and trends and compare it to what, in our humblest of opinions, should happen.

This event seems to have been rushed together, taking place not long after Extreme Rules. This also seems to lack the big match that the last few events had, but still there is some intrigue with a WWE Title Match between the two best in the world (sorry Jericho), a Super Star vs. Authority Figure version 9000, and a Four-Way Title Match featuring four very good wrestlers that is sure to be entertaining.

The card order will be in the order of what SHOULD happen, with some discussions as to what will happen along the way.

YouTube Pre-Show Match
Zack Ryder vs. Kane

What SHOULD Happen: Zack Ryder pulls out an upset victory over the man that injured him a few months back. Kane flips out and attacks Ryder post-match to set up some sort of stipulation match to settle things next month, which Ryder should win.

What WILL Happen: Kane squashes Ryder and nobody mentions their unresolved feud ever again.

Match #1
Kofi Kingston and R-Truth vs. Dolph Ziggler and Jack Swagger
WWE Tag Team Title  Match 

 What SHOULD Happen: These four men will go out and bust their asses popping the crowd and getting everyone excited for the sure. The Booming Truths or whatever they are called will most certainly get the win after one of the faces hits their finisher out of nowhere. Afterwards, Abraham Washington and his cronies come down and level the champs to set up some sort of stable war going forward.

What WILL Happen: Probably more or less the same thing, maybe no Abraham Washington group coming down after. Also, this match will almost certainly open things off.

Match #2
Layla vs. Beth Phoenix
WWE Divas Title  Match

What SHOULD Happen: The match starts out fairly competitive but Beth begins to take a clear upper hand. As she is about to hit the Glam Slam, in runs Kharma who absolutely destroys these two. She beats up Beth so badly that she needs to be taken off TV for a while. This lets Kharma feud with Layla for June and July, winning the title along the way, before Beth Phoenix makes a huge return in time to set up a money match at Summerslam.

What WILL Happen: Layla will win from some sort of a rollup, Kharma won’t show up since we are all expecting her to.

Impromptu Match/Segment #1

NOTE:  If Extreme Rules is any indication, the company seems to really like the idea of putting unannounced matches and/or extended segments on their big events, we can try to predict a few of those here at the appropriate parts.

What SHOULD Happen: The Miz vs. Brodus Clay – The two have a fun and competitive match with Miz being unable to figure Clay out, while Clay shows resiliency kicking out of some of The Miz’s big moves. The Miz pulls out a cheap win, then tries to hit on one of the dancers only to be turned down and attacked by a recovering Brodus in a post-match brawl.

What WILL Happen: Cody Rhodes vs. Santino Marella – A rematch of the Smackdown Champion vs. Champion match, this time with Cody winning.

Match #3
John Cena vs. John Laurinitus
NO DQ Match
If Laurinitus loses he is fired as GM, if anyone interferes they are fired

What SHOULD Happen: Other than this match not happening you mean? Well Cena wins in a squash, Laurinitus, dejected later leads a group of outsiders to do some sort of “Invasion” (possibly including Brock Lesnar?) while he tries to reclaim his job – maybe even a War Games type match at No Way Out.

What WILL Happen:  Does anyone not see Big Show costing Cena this match and then get restated on RAW? Does anyone not see this match going on last?

Impromptu Match/Segment #2

What SHOULD Happen: Cody Rhodes cuts a promo, stating that he is not defending his title since nobody on the roster deserves a shot. He is then interrupted by a returning Justin Bourne who knocks him down, hits the 450 Splash and poses with the title, setting off a fun feud for the next month or two, with Cody obviously retaining the gold.

What WILL Happen: Brodus Clay squashes the Miz in less than five minutes

Match #4
Sheamus vs. Randy Orton vs. Chris Jericho vs. Alberto Del Rio
World Heavyweight Title Match

What SHOULD Happen:  Randy Orton hits RKOs on everything that walks and looks ready to pin one of the heels, but the Sheamus hits a Brogue Kick on Orton out of nowhere knocking him out of the ring and the Irishman steals the pin on the heel. This can start a good simmer for a summer feud between the two top faces at Smackdown. Which simmers until they finally erupt in a one-on-one match at Summerslam.

What WILL Happen: The planned feud was between Sheamus and Del Rio, so that stays in focus here. Sheamus pins Jericho and Del Rio throws a fit because he thinks that he has it won and attacks Sheamus post match.

Match #5
CM Punk vs. Daniel Bryan
WWE Title Match

What SHOULD Happen: Can you say 60 minute draw? Last summer they had no problem taking a page from Ring of Honor, so why not do it again this time? Have Punk and Bryan do a full sixty minutes, with the time running out at the end. They can have a steel cage match next month, which results in a draw, the Bryan wins one of the Briefcases and challenges him at Summerslam, where they do an Austin-Bret style double turn, making both men bigger names going forward.

What WILL Happen: Punk will win cleanly in a very good 20 minute match that goes in the middle of the show. Both men move on to new opponents, because why the heck not?

May 18

Weekly Plus/Minus: Adaptable New Jersey Devils, Orton vs. Sheamus, World Hockey Championship, Staples Center Staff, Big Show Cries, and More!

Welcome back one and all to our weekly examination of the best and worst in the land of professional hockey and wrestling. This week the Conference finals got rolling, the World Hockey Championship kicked into the medal round, and the build to Over the Limit got into high gear and a ton more happened!

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Evolving Devils: How can you not be impressed with the New Jersey Devils performance in Game 2?

The started the series in the first game looking like a team that had a week off. They had a chance to pounce on an exhausted New York Rangers squad, but squandered that in the opening game of the series getting shut out 3-0.

So Peter DeBoer went out and made some changes reuniting Parise, Zajac, and Kovalchuk as the top line. This could easily backfire against a team that could easily unite Dan Girardi and Marc Staal into a shutdown duo that could easily neutralize them.

Yet, the Devils went out and outplayed the Rangers getting goals from their 1st, 3rd, and 4th line and changed how they played. They were able to get around the Great Shot Blocking Menace that is the New York Rangers by getting low and changing their shot selection. Peter DeBoer deserves a ton of credit for that win, and should get credit for the eight previous victories that team has earned this Spring.

World Hockey Championship No Shows: Every year we hear the same thing — The World Hockey Championships mean the world to Europeans and next to nothing to North Americans. This year helped fulfill this prophecy once more.

Take a look at the rosters for Canada and the United States, and it’s no surprise that both of these teams lost in the quarter finals. For team Canada, only Jonathan Tavares, Corey Perry, Ryan Getzlaf, Cam Ward, Duncan Keith, Ryan Nugent-Hopkins, and maybe Jamie Benn and Dion Phaneuf will be on the long list for the 2014 Olympic Team, that’s really unacceptable. When you have the likes of Evgeni Malkin, Alex Ovechkin, Henrik Zetterberg, and Erik Karlsson joining their teams after being eliminated from the playoffs you’ve got to wonder were our support is exactly.

Sure Duncan Keith, Marc-Edouard Vlasic, Kyle Quincey, Alexandre Burrows, Patrick Sharp, and Kris Russell came, but other than the Blackhawks, those men don’t exactly inspire terror. Where was Rick Nash, Eric Staal, Jarome Iginla, or the usual international hockey star Dany Heatley? Why didn’t Jonathan Toews, Sidney Crosby, Claude Giroux, or Shea Weber come for support?

The United States team was even worse on paper. Outside of Jimmy Howard, Bobby Ryan, Jack Johnson, and Cam Fowler this was not a good team.

Something needs to be done next year. It will be the last time to experiment with line combinations and chemistry before the Olympics, and if either of these teams are going to be ready then the players need to get on board and fast.

Orton vs. Sheamus Slow Build: The last few weeks have seen tensions grow between Randy Orton and Sheamus. It started in a tag team match last week, but it has turned into some DQ run ins like this past Monday.

Sure, they are giving away Randy Orton vs. Sheamus for free on Smackdown, but they seem to be slowly building to a big-time match between these two. Hopefully they stick with this plan, and maybe just maybe, we can see Orton turn to his much more stronger role as a heel.

Big Show Cries: This past Monday we saw the Big Show “fired” and then stop to cry about it. It consistently astonishes me that the largest athlete in the world is constantly seen as such a wussy. He should be a monster who kills people dead, and defeating him should be a very large accomplishment, yet here we are. The worlds largest cry baby.

Does anyone out there NOT see Big Show interfering in the Cena-Laurinitus match? He’s clearly not employed so he can’t get fired. We’ll see Show turn heel and join Team Johnny in a very predictable fashion and have him feud with Cena for the summer in the match-up nobody wanted.

Staples Center Staff: For the first time in history the city of Los Angeles is going multi-sport playoff crazy at the same time. We have the Kings, Lakers, and Clippers all playing this late in the year.

While this is great for the second largest city in North America, but it’s creating quite the extra work for the staff at the Staples Center who need to change everything from Lakers to Clippers to Kings and back again time and time again. What is intriguing is that an overtime or two in the Kings-Coyotes games could push back the start time of some of the basketball games in what would amount to be a nightmare for television. It’s funny, joint hockey and basketball arenas are commonplace, but the logistic nightmare this is going to cause may cause some hesitation going forward.

Despite all of that, the staff in LA deserve a ton of credit for the quick transformations they are forced to make here. If you haven’t read Harrison Mooney’s piece about this on Puck Daddy, give it a read, very thorough description of the work these people have to do.

John Tortorella’s Pouting: Seriously this is getting out of hand! At first John Tortorella’s curt responses during press conferences was kind of entertaining, but now he’s just being a jerk.

Seriously, this man needs to be pulled aside by the NHL and told that he has to do at least a little bit of PR. If the Rangers are in the Finals against the Kings, can you imagine just how short and gruff the press conferences are going to be?

Because this isn’t cool…

Prediction for this Coming Week: No Titles change hands at Over the Limit this weekend
May 13

NHL Playoffs: Another Pair of Idiots Guide to the 3rd Round of the Playoffs

Just when we thought things couldn’t get weirder, here we are! At the end of the first round, Philadelphia, St. Louis, and Nashville looked like world beaters, while the Rangers, Devils, and Coyotes all struggled early. Yet somehow, those former heavyweights are golfing, while those that endured a nail bitter in early April are still playing in Mid-May. Really the only team that has been consistently strong has been an 8th seed team. What is this opposite year?

Things are really heating up between our three competitors for playoff prediction superiority.

We have a tie at the bottom of the standings with six points. The coin is gaining steam, correctly predicting LA and New Jersey series wins, adding to its four points from before, to bring its total to six. This pushes a tie with the owner of this blog, Glen, who had five points after last round, and went 1-3 in the Conference Semifinals, being the only one to predict a Rangers victory.

But Glen wasn’t the only one who went 1-3, Troy was able to predict a win for the LA Kings, which pushes his total up to seven. Making anything possible going forward.

WESTERN CONFERENCE FINALS

#3 Phoenix Coyotes vs. #8 Los Angeles Kings

Let’s see we have two Pacific Division teams playing a defense first system that have power forwards for captains, very good defense corps, and goaltenders with less than 2 for a Goals Against Average. These two teams are so incredibly even match that we may have our most likely series to go seven all spring, but with the way things are going this year it may end in four, who really knows anymore.

Troy Says: Didn’t see this coming. That’s for sure. It’s nonetheless still an interesting series. Although it’s LA first time getting this far since ’93 I believe it’s still not a major surprise. The Kings have been on the cusp of greatness for a few years now and it’s about time that they live up to their potential. Phoenix however, is definitely a surprise. They’re a decent team but I don’t think many people expected them to get this far into the playoffs. Unfortunately for all 10 Coyotes fans though, I think this is the end of their road. The Kings are too good. Jonathan Quick should be able to match Mike Smith shot for shot which will give LA’s offence a big advantage. Not to mention the LA is boasting Mike Richards. Richards is a man singularly born for big games. I don’t think this one will last too long.

Most Interesting Story: Is it getting repetitive to say goaltending? These two goalies are clearly the top contenders for the Conn Smythe trophy at this point, and it is not unreasonable to think that whichever goalie advances here will win the playoff MVP, regardless of wether they end up with their name on the Cup or not. Expect these series to have some insane performances by Smith and Quick.

Most Interesting Stat: The LA Kings are looking to be the second team in NHL history to defeat the top three teams in the Conference in one playoff season. The first you ask? Why it was the 2004 Calgary Flames…who was their coach again?

BONUS STAT: This is the first time in history that the Kings, Clippers, and Lakers have all made the playoffs. What on earth is going to happen to the Staples Center if all three teams advance?

Glen’s Prediction: Kings take it in 6 with Dustin Brown getting two game winning goals and two shutouts combined for the goalies.

Troy’s Prediction: Los Angeles in 5.

Coin’s Prediction: Los Angeles in 7 (the coin has the Kings going up 3-0, then Phoenix rallying only to lose)

EASTERN CONFERENCE FINALS

#1 New York Rangers vs. #6 New Jersey Devils

Everyone immediately brings to mind memories of the unreal seven game Eastern Finals of 1994 here, but we forget that they have played three times since then with each series lasting either four or five games. Still though, this series has the potential to be very intriguing. Gaborik vs. Kovalchuk, Richards vs. Parise, Lundqvist vs. Brodeur, Tortorella vs. DeBoer and of course The Shore vs. The City. This series should be all kinds of interesting.

Troy Says: Well this is series we haven’t seen in years. Unfortunately I don’t expect it to be the most exciting series ever played. Having said that though you just never know in the playoffs what can happen. I was very surprised to see New Jersey get past the Flyers the way they did so this team cannot be taken lightly. With that in mind though this team relies heavily — as they always have — on the play of Brodeur. Somehow, even though he’s got to be an octogenarian by now, he’s still stopping pucks. The question then becomes does he still have it in him to keep it up in the next round? Well I bet against him last round and I was wrong so my heart tells me not to do it again. If you look at things from the Rangers’ side they’re firing on all cylinders and their goaltending is definitely not a question. Even Marty recently stated that he thinks Lundqvist is the best goalie in the game right now. So bottom line is I do think Brodeur will be strong, but I don’t think he’ll be able to carry his team past the Rangers.

Most Interesting Story: Coaching. Anyone else remember March 19? Because this happened:

 

And there were the great outbursts from the coaches afterwards. Hopefully the intensity is ratcheted up here, just like it was in the Pennsylvania showdown a few weeks ago.

Most Interesting Statistic: Marian Gaborik and Brad Richards are the only two players in the Top 25 of NHL Salary who are still playing (Stick Tap to Cap Geek on that one)

Glen’s Prediction: Who was the genius that predicted the Devils in the Final Four? Sure, that same genius may have also predicted the Rangers in the Stanley Cup Finals, but let’s not harp on such things.

Devils in 6

Troy’s Prediction: Rangers in 6

Coin’s Prediction: Jersey in 6

QUICK HITS FOR THE FINALS

Glen Says: The Kings over the Devils in 5 with Jonathan Quick as the Conn Smythe

Troy Says: LA over Rangers in 7. Quick with the Conn Smythe.

Coin Says: LA over New Jersey in 6.

 

Man that coin just can’t stay consistent, can it?

May 11

Weekly Plus/Minus: Paul Heyman on RAW, Braden Holtby is Made of Rubber, Fatal Four-Way, Some People are Jerks, and MORE!!!

Welcome back to our weekly look at the boons and busts in the world of hockey and professional wrestling! Three of the four Conference finalists have been set, with the last series going seven games. Monday Night RAW got a huge surprise when Paul Heyman showed up and delivered an amazing promo, and a ton more happened!

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Braden Holtby is Made of Rubber: Why you ask? Well because he always bounces back!

Holtby’s numbers coming off of a loss are simply insane. After his great performance in Game 6 against the Rangers, he is 9-0 after losing a game. This is simply insane, how can you be so good to have not lost two games in a row?

Add to the fact that the last six of those wins have been against the New York Rangers or the Boston Bruins during these playoffs. Right now, George MacPhie looks like a genius for trading Varlamov for a 1st and 2nd round draft pick, and for not panicking when Vokoun and Neuvirth were not getting it done earlier. Obviously we need to wait and see if he’ll turn out more like Ken Dryden or more like Jim Carey, but it’s very fun to watch right now.

Phony Press Conferences with Greg Jamison: Seriously, what is going on in Glendale?

The NHL announces a Press Conference and it seems like we finally have a local owner in Arizona, who can keep the team there…right? Well not so fast. It later gets turned into a “Media Availability Day” to update everyone on the state of the sale, which is that nobody knows what’s going on. No offer has been presented to City Council, nothing was really made of the Goldwater Institute, and here we are in the middle of May with nothing concrete going forward.

This isn’t like in Atlanta where things fell apart very quickly, this has been going on for seriously three years. It’s simply unbelievable that this has dragged on for this long and nothing has been resolved. One can’t help but wonder if they are just throwing up smoke screens until the Coyotes are eliminated from the playoffs and then announce the move, because remember who the tickets sales are helping…

Paul F’n Heyman:  Paul Heyman graced our screens for the first time in a very long time this past week, and how could you not get excited for it?

Despite not appearing for a wrestling promotion in a few years, Heyman never missed a beat. Even in reading a prepared statement Paul Heyman is able to get everyone to hold on to every last word coming out of his mouth. This man is an absolute genius on the microphone, and we can’t help but hope that he plays a part in the Brock Lesnar storyline going forward, the thought of him working as an agent/mouth piece/corner man for Brock Lesnar in his Summerslam match against Triple H is every bit a plus.

9/11 First Responders…really?: In the intro to Game 6 of the Rangers-Capitals series, CBC Host Ron MacLean foolishly compared NHL Players to the firefighters and policemen that rushed into the flaming wreckage of The Pentagon and World Trade Centers on September 11, 2001.

War metaphors in sports really need to stop. Every game is not a “battle”, or a “war”, and these men are not “soldiers” or “warriors”. Brad Richards and Alexander Ovechkin are very talented athletes engaged in a struggle on behalf of their billionaire owners, nothing more. To compare them to soldiers, police officers, or anyone else is down right insulting to the people who are risking their lives.

In case you haven’t seen the video, have a look and wonder…

Fatal-Four Way: Alberto Del Rio challenging Sheamus for the World Heavyweight Title at Over the Limit wasn’t exactly setting the world on fire. After a very fun tag match on RAW, things got changed as Chris Jericho and Randy Orton were added to the match.

These four are certain to put on a great show, and hopefully are able to lead to some interesting spin-offs down the line. All six possible one-on-one matches featuring those four are incredibly intriguing and it should make for some interesting feuds going forward. This can add some much needed luster to the Sheamus-Del Rio feud since either of them can win this match without pinning the other to set up easy motivation going forward.

Of course, what puts this in the plus more than anything else is that it means that Orton-Kane is finally done.

David Menzies: How is this for a great hook to start an article?

Question: When do you know that a public figure really needs a P.R. boost?

Answer: When that person wraps himself in the rainbow flag.

If that doesn’t make you want to throw up, then I don’t know what will. The “columnist” David Menzies lead a recent article on the Canadian Version of the Huffington Post with this. What’s worse (and keeps it relevant to this site) is that the public figure he is accusing is Toronto Maple Leafs General Manager Brian Burke.

Burke, whose gay son was killed in a car accident, is also one of the founders of the If You Can Play, You Can Play initiative started a few months ago. Menzies accused Burke, as well as former New York Ranger Sean Avery, of standing up for gay rights as a means of shielding himself from criticism by “Milking the gay angle for all it’s worth”.

First off, to accuse Burke of starting “You Can Play” based on anything other than the memory of his son is disgusting, ever Brian Burke would not stoop to that level. Secondly, if he was out to escape criticism it has clearly failed, as people continue to call for his job. Lastly, Menzies also called for a boycott of the Grey Cup since they are allowed to use the Imperial System but nobody else in Canada is allowed to, alright so that point may not be relevant, but it shows what kind of a guy we’re dealing with.

By the way, he doesn’t work for Fox News, he gets to grace our televisions North of the Border, working for a company that starts with an “S” and ends with an “un Media”. What a wonderful time to be Canadian…


Prediction for the Week: Rangers win 3-1 against the Capitals, then get a split in Manhattan against the Devils.

May 09

NHL Realignment: A Balanced Approach

With yesterdays news that the Phoenix Coyotes will be staying put…err there is a strong possibility that they will be staying put…or they might be staying put…errrr we have no idea what is going on with them and time is running out to move them in the near future, let’s go with that.

With yesterdays news that nobody has any idea what’s going on with the Coyotes, and we are quickly running out of time, the conversation of NHL Realignment needs to happen soon. It seems clear that the NHL did not want to move a team like Columbus or Detroit East for a year and then be forced to move them back West once we get the Hamilton or Quebec Coyotes.

In previous posts way back in January, we looked at different ways to tweak the current alignment to accommodate the relocated Coyotes and to get Winnipeg out of the Southeast Division. In this post we’ll look at ways to change things around a little bit while keeping the Coyotes were they are, as surreal as that is.

We’ll start with the Western Conference were things are far less confusing. First thing is first: one of Detroit, Nashville, or Columbus needs to move East in order to get Winnipeg in the West. For reasons outlined in previous posts, Columbus is the most logical choice. They are the Easternmost team, in the right Time Zone, struggling financially, and very close to both Pittsburgh and Buffalo, so let’s get them East. Sorry sleepy Red Wings fans.

Starting with the Pacific Division, we obviously have the Phoenix Coyotes and the three California teams. The three options for the final piece of this puzzle would be the Dallas Stars, Colorado Avalanche, and Vancouver Canucks. Sure Dallas is there already, but it really doesn’t make a ton of sense. The city is a full two Time Zones away from the Pacific Division and doesn’t belong there.

The choice between the Canucks and Avalanche depends on your view of Canadian hockey teams drawing in the United States. In the Northwest Division we will clearly have the Oilers, Flames, Jets, Wild, and one of those two teams. Reports were that none of the American teams wanted to be in a division with four Canadian teams, even though Minnesota is doing just fine for attendance. Nonetheless, this request will be honoured and we can slide Colorado in the Northwest, leaving Vancouver in the Pacific, which really makes more sense as far as Time Zones go.

The Central Division is made up then of Detroit, Chicago, St. Louis, Nashville, and Dallas. This division clearly makes sense geographically and traditionally. Four of the five teams are in the Central Time Zone, with Detroit being only an hour behind.

To recap our Western Conference looks like this:

Pacific Division: Anaheim Ducks, Los Angeles Kings, Phoenix Coyotes, San Jose Sharks, Vancouver Canucks
Northwest Division: Calgary Flames, Colorado Avalanche, Edmonton Oilers, Minnesota Wild, Winnipeg Jets
Central Division: Chicago Blackhawks, Dallas Stars, Detroit Red Wings, Nashville Predators, St. Louis Blues
Easy right? Well hold tight, the East is going to get very complicated in a moment.

Distances in the East are significantly less than those in the West. Vancouver and Minneapolis, two teams that are in the same division now are over 2,800km apart, while Montreal and Miami, two teams that were almost lumped together in the failed plan last January are over 2,600km apart, which represents the biggest in-Conference distance in the East. So really, if the Canucks and Wild can play together, then any two teams in the Eastern Conference can, especially since they are all in the same Time Zone.

The problem with the Eastern Conference in its current form is the simple fact that everything is stacked. The most of the teams that get the highest attendance and TV Ratings are all in the Northeast or Atlantic Divisions. It’s no wonder that hockey did not catch on in Atlanta, they were getting the Florida Panthers and Carolina Hurricanes 3-4 times a year. One of the reasons that the Nashville Predators have been The Great Southern Success Story, has got to be the fact that they’ve shared a division with established teams like Detroit and Chicago for all of their existence. Sure, so has Columbus, so there are clearly other factors here, but it’s hard to discount the drawing power of teams like that.

According to ESPN, the six teams in our Eastern Conference with the lowest percentage attendance are the New York Islanders, Carolina Hurricanes, Florida Panthers, New Jersey Devils, Tampa Bay Lightning and our newly imported Columbus Blue Jackets. These six teams should be evenly placed in three different divisions and be supported by three stronger markets.

Clearly both Florida teams are together, same with both New York Metropolitan teams, leaving Columbus and Carolina together in the third division.

Looking at the other nine teams we can fit Toronto, Ottawa, and Buffalo as one trio. Montreal and Boston must stay together, same with Philadelphia and Pittsburgh. Leaving the New York Rangers and Washington Capitals to join each of those duos. As great as the Flyers-Rangers rivalry is and has been, it makes more geographic sense to put the Rangers in with the Bruins and Habs, plus this gives us a division that includes Sidney Crosby and Alexander Ovechkin, and who doesn’t love that idea right now?

The Rangers-Bruins-Canadiens trio would be a logical dance partner for the Devils-Islanders duo. Despite the proximity of Columbus and Pittsburgh, it makes the most sense to have the Penguins-Flyers-Capitals trio join up with the Florida teams for geographical reasons.

This leaves Toronto, Ottawa, and Buffalo join up with Columbus and Carolina, making a “Mostly Great Lakes” Division. While Ottawa and Raleigh are not exactly neighbours, they have approximately the same distance between them that Denver and Minneapolis do.

If you’re having trouble following along, here are the past 980 words wrapped up in a nice, neat, little map.

As you can see, the “Mostly Great Lakes” Division is without a name at the moment. We could change the Central to the Midwest and use the Central Division for this one, otherwise we’re a little at a loss for a geographic name here.

So to recap for those of you that went all the way to the bottom, we get the following set up for our six divisions:

WESTERN CONFERENCE                                                    EASTERN CONFERENCE

Pacific Division                                                                   Atlantic Division
Anaheim Ducks                                                                    Florida Panthers
Los Angeles Kings                                                                Philadelphia Flyers
Phoenix Coyotes                                                                  Pittsburgh Penguins
San Jose Sharks                                                                  Tampa Bay Lightning
Vancouver Canucks                                                              Washington Capitals

Northwest Division                                                             Northeast Division
Calgary Flames                                                                    Boston Bruins
Colorado Avalanche                                                              Montreal Canadiens
Edmonton Oilers                                                                   New Jersey Devils
Minnesota Wild                                                                     New York Islanders
Winnipeg Jets                                                                       New York Rangers

Central Division                                                                 “Mostly Great Lakes” Division
Chicago Blackhawks                                                            Buffalo Sabres
Dallas Stars                                                                        Carolina Hurricanes
Detroit Red Wings                                                                Columbus Blue Jackets
Nashville Predators                                                              Ottawa Senators
St. Louis Blues                                                                    Toronto Maple Leafs

 

Sure it’s not 100% Ideal, but it’s better than calling Winnipeg Southeast, or Tampa Northeast, isn’t it?

May 07

How I Learned To Stop Worrying and Start Loving Sunbelt Hockey

You can practically see the torches and pitchforks at the NHL head offices. For the first time in 16 years, and only the third time since the 1967 Expansion we do not have any Canadian teams playing past the first round. What’s worse the Final Four of the Western Conference features four of the worst kinds of teams, Southern teams.

You can feel the rage coming from North of the border, how can places that don’t get any snow appreciate *our* game? Add in to the fact that a team in DC is still playing, a team from Miami was one goal away from the second round, and Tampa Bay and San Jose both made deep playoff runs a year ago, and the game all Canadians love is under attack from some Great Southern Menace.

At the start of the season everything was looking great for Canadian teams. The Canucks were still considered Stanley Cup contenders, the Maple Leafs, Flames, and Canadiens were considered potential playoff teams, and the Oilers and Senators had a wealth of young talent that could break through in a few years time. But best a team was saved from the apathetic clutches of a failed Southern market and brought back to the True North Strong and Free to become, at the very least, the second favourite team of 35 million people in the Northern half of the continent.

Even better, the prospects going forward looked great. The team in Phoenix was still without an owner, with rumblings that teams in Miami, Columbus, and Long Island may need to look elsewhere, while they were building new NHL ready arenas in Quebec City and the Great Toronto Area. Maybe we could end up Making it Nine!

Well since then things have changed, dramatically. The Coyotes and Panthers won their division and improved their attendance, the Blue Jackets signed a new lease with the city of Columbus for roughly the next millenium, and the Islanders are almost certainly going to stay on Long Island, even if  they end up in Brooklyn.

Worst still the Oilers, the Leafs, and the Canadiens all finished in the bottom five in NHL Standings, the Calgary Flames predictably finished 9th, and after a late season collapse the Winnipeg Jets were unable to make the playoffs. Only the Canucks and Senators made the playoffs, with both bowing out in the first round.

Clearly this is not a good time for hockey north of the border. The Sunbelt is the new king of the NHL!

The truth is, this rage is misguided, misinformed, and fits an overly simplistic narrative.

For starters, this years playoffs have been wildly unpredictable. Who on earth would have imagined Vancouver, Pittsburgh and Boston all bowing out so early? These playoffs have been very flukey so far, and it’s foolish to react like this, especially when the last eight Cup finalists play in Michigan, Pennsylvania, Illinois, British Columbia, and Massachusetts. With the warmest place among them being Vancouver, which only gets 3 cm more snow a year than St. Louis for the record. So to say that we are in an era of “Sunbelt Hockey” is looking at the trees and neglecting the forest.
Secondly, and most importantly: bemoaning Southern markets really should be passe. Despite failures in Atlanta, and hiccups in Phoenix, the Great Southern Migration of the 90s has mostly been successful. Nashville and San Jose consistently have very high attendance, and LA, St. Louis, Tampa Bay, and Florida have had their off-ice success tied to on-ice success, which is exactly what has happened in Chicago, Pittsburgh, and Boston in the past decade. But more importantly, the NHL has increased their media footprint – do you really think that NBC would have signed such a lucrative deal for 30 teams North of the Mason-Dixie line?
Many Canadians don’t remember ever becoming hockey fans, they just sort of were. Children cheer for the same team that their parents love. But what if their parents aren’t hockey fans? How can they find an entry point into this wonderful game?
My parents are not sports fans at all, so I entered the game a little late. My older half-sister was a big Montreal fan and the spring of ’93 got her more excited than words can describe. Between her joy over Montreal’s miracle run and the ’92 expansion into Ottawa, I was hooked. It certainly didn’t hurt that the playoffs the next year in ’94 were among the best in history, clearly those two years had a tremendous effect on an impressionable 10 and 11 year old.
Who knows, maybe this miracle run by the LA Kings, or the probably news that the Coyotes will stay in Phoenix could help some other kid get hooked, and what’s not to love about that? Sure they may never be able to hold a Winter Classic there, or they may not have the steep tradition related to the game, but it’s time that we share it with someone else.
May 04

Weekly Plus/Minus: WWE Extreme Rules, Second Round Showdowns, Brock Lesnar, Partying Russians, and More!

Has it been seven days already? With the second round of the playoffs in full-swing and a dynamite event from the WWE time just keeps flying by! What was good? What was bad? Well let’s just see here…

Extreme Rules – The Matches: Wow! What an event the WWE put on this past week. The company put on arguably their best event since last years Money in the Bank, coincidently in the same city.

In many ways, this event was what Wrestlemania could have been. Cena-Brock had a feeling of hatred that Cena-Rock didn’t, while Daniel Bryan and Sheamus showed what happens if they are given more than 18 seconds to do their thing. While Punk and Jericho really showed how to blow off a blood feud.

Add in the fact that we had a very good Orton-Kane match to start things out, and we had ourselves a damn fine PPV that sets the bar very high for the rest of the year.

Extreme Rules – The Decisions: Why on earth would they have Brock Lesnar lose his first match in eight years? Why on earth would they have John Cena cut that very bizarre (and wildly ignored) promo at the end?

Apparently after the match Brock Lesnar went crazy backstage, flipping out over the loss and Cena no-selling the beating he took. Or did he? Later reports were that this was exaggerated to “work the boys”. The reasons for this really aren’t clear. Of course, we all must keep an open mind as for what happens next, but at this moment it feels like things are not going in the direction that they should be.

Kneel Before the King: Sure the LA Kings are not your typical 8th seed. They could have finished as high as 3rd up until the last day of the season, so to label them as a Cinderella team is misleading.

Having said that, who on earth saw this coming? After their 4-2 win in Game 3, they have a record of 7-1 in the playoffs, which is easily the best out of any team. What’s more impressive, is the fact that they have been playing against the top two regular season teams in the league, so victories are very tough to come by.

This team looks damn scary, and after those first three games against St. Louis, should be a favourite to come out of the West. Who the hell saw this coming?!?!?

Phoenix Rising: The Phoenix Coyotes shocked many by defeating the Blackhawks in round one, and shocked many more by jumping out to a 2-0 lead against the Predators.

But the most shocking thing of all is clearly the fact that the games are selling out. Even more shocking, news came out today the Coyotes are once again one step closer to staying in the desert.

The fans at Coyotes games seem knowledgable. They are all decked out in ‘Yotes gear and/or white, they are cheering at the right time and booing at the right time. So the most obvious question comes out: where the hell have they been for the past three years? Sure it makes sense to not go see a bad team, but this is their third year in a row in the playoffs and only now these people are showing up. If, and this remains a huge if, the Coyotes stay in Phoenix next year, it will be incredibly interesting, and probably frustrating, to see how many of them are showing up to Tuesday night games in November…

Punk vs. Bryan, YES! YES! YES!: Daniel Bryan defeated Jerry Lawler at the end of RAW this past week to win the Beat the Clock Challenge and earn a chance to challenge CM Punk for the WWE Title at Over the Limit.

With all due respect to Mr. Jericho, this truly is a match between the two best in the world, and it’s hard not to get excited at the thought of it. When these two were tearing it up in Ring of Honor, could anyone have imagined that they would one day be fighting for the WWE Title on a Pay-Per-View? The thought of this is beyond surreal.

The outcome of the match is really intriguing. Daniel Bryan is very hot right now and Punk’s six-month reign is the longest the company has had in a while, so logic may dictate that veganism defeats straight edge. Yet, things are rarely that simple. Could this just be a chance to get people to boo Bryan? Could this just be a chance to have Jericho interfere in one of Punk’s matches? Or could this be the start of a long feud that would destroy the internet by making all of our dreams come true?


Blame it on the Russians: You gotta hand it to David Poile. The GM of the Predators chose to bench two of their most dynamic forwards for violating team curfews prior to Game 2. Sure Andrei Kostitsyn had been pretty average these playoffs, and Radulov certainly looked hungover that game, but this was a gamble. The Preds were having trouble scoring, and you would think that these dynamic players would be part of the solution, and not the problem. Yet the classiest organization that doesn’t play in Detroit stuck to their guns and went on and won a must win game without two of their Top Six forwards.

But this is in the minus camp for a reason. The narrative in several places on the media has been overly simplistic: these guys are Russians, and therefore care more about drinking in Scottsdale than drinking from Stanley.

Let’s count the reasons that it’s a flawed idea:

- The Kostitsyns are from Belarus not Russia, let’s get that out of the way right now.
- Do you really think that Evgeni Malkin or Pavel Datsyuk would break these rules?
- Why was nobody saying “Typical American hockey player” when Patrick Kane got drunk and punched a cab driver? Or “Typical Canadian” whenever Sean Avery did anything?

It’s 2012 this type of xenophobia is completely unfounded. The vast majority of players in the NHL want to win. Sure some make dumb life decisions, and some of these dumb ones may be from Russia, but there are plenty of Canadian, American, Swedish, Finish, Swiss, Belarusian, Korean, Slovenian, Moroccan, Brazilian, and Martian hockey players that do stupid things off the ice. Keep with the time, ladies and gents, the Cold War is long over.

 

Prediction for this Week: The Phoenix Coyotes don’t win another playoff game.