Monthly Archives: January 2012

Jan 25

Celebrating the Heel Turn of Tim Thomas

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Monday Tim Thomas skipped out on the Boston Bruins reception at the White House.  He said on his Facebook that it was because he was exercising his rights as a free citizen who disagreed with the work of the Federal Government, apparently due to his Tea Party sympathies.

This has received a hell of a lot of flack from the media, and is certain to be a distraction at the coming All-Star Weekend, especially in the Great White Northern Socialist Paradise.

While I couldn’t possibly disagree more with Thomas’s political views here, I personally admire him for his courage on this. Sure he was a Conn Smythe winner, but if someone like Brad Richards, Patrick Roy, or Nicklas Lidstrom refused to attend George Bush’s White House, I would have loved it. As such, I feel it would be completely hypocritical of me to shame Thomas here. He stood up for what he believed, and kudos to that. In the words of Voltaire “I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it”.

But enough about me, what’s more interesting is the reaction that this is getting.

In wrestling terms, there is no question that Tim Thomas was one of the few mega-faces in this game. He comes from humble beginnings, was a late round draft pick, had to ply his trade in Europe, and flat out worked his ass off to be the best in the league at what he does, which culminated in one of the best statistical seasons ever last year, which lead to him getting the Vezina and Conn Smythe trophies and his name on Hockey’s Holy Grail. What’s not to love about that story? He’s a regular Dusty Rhodes son-of-a-plumber blue collar good guy.

That is until today. Where he is sure to be booed like no tomorrow, especially in the more liberal markets like Ottawa, DC, LA, Chicago, and New York.

But why? He just did what he felt was right. The same people who are going to boo Thomas are the same people that defended the Dixie Chicks for speaking out against the war in Iraq and hated on the “dumb rednecks” who boycotted them.

This my friends, is a self justified heel turn of Bret Hart proportions. What made this turns so amazing in the 90s is the fact that Bret didn’t change, not one bit. No the fans changed. Bret Hart was such an amazing anti-American heel, because he was mad at the fans for cheering the beer swilling rule breaker who they should have booed by all logic.

Tim Thomas today is the exact same man whose tires were pumped by Roberto Luongo. He’s the exact same man who flat-out embarrassed the Vancouver Canucks last June. He’s the exact same man who we were all inspired by and couldn’t help but root for.

Except now we know something about him that we don’t like, and that somehow makes him a villain. Bret Hart refused to let go of the sharpshooter on Jerry Lawler in ’93 and we cheered. He did the same to Steve Austin in ’97 and suddenly he was the most hated man in the business.

What made Bret Hart such an amazing villain in the late 90s is the exact same thing that will make Tim Thomas a great villain now. They hold a mirror up to the world. They show everyone their true hypocritical nature. They are the sports (and sports entertainment) equivalent of Dorian Gray’s painting.

And for that we hate them.

Jan 20

Imagining how the Hamilton Coyotes Will Effect NHL Realignment

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In the previous two editions of this series we looked at how the uncertain location of the Phoenix Coyotes affects the possibilities with the NHL’s divisional alignments for next year. Today I’ll look at what would happen if Jim Balsille got his wish and was able to transplant the team to Hamilton.

Firstly, I don’t think that this is possible in the slightest right now, with RIM stock dropping for starters, but more importantly the planned construction of an NHL Ready Arena in the Markham area. But this arena won’t be ready for a while, so I guess there is a chance of the NHL wanting to relocate a team to Toronto, but have them play in Hamilton for a few years in the meantime.

The important points from examining possible moves to Seattle/Portland or Kansas City were:

  • The NHL can’t have Winnipeg be in the Southeast for one more year, so some changes are coming.
  • Even if they can’t blow up the league for next year, I think that there can be some minor tweak now to set up for seismic shift down the line.
  • They have to wait and see where Phoenix goes first before any changes can happen – they don’t want to move Columbus, Nashville, or Detroit to the East, only to have them be forced to switch back a year later

Now a move of Phoenix to an Easternish place like the GTA, would make sure we would have an awkward conversation with Mike Ilitch about moving back West.

A team getting transplanted from Phoenix to Hamilton would obviously lead some sorting out on both sides of the Lake Eerie, which is apparently where “West” starts.

I’ll start with the Western Conference, where things are a lot easier. With Phoenix moving out of the Pacific Division, it seems like Colorado would be the obvious team to switch in there, leaving a Winnipeg sized hole in the Northwest Division. Bing. Bang. Boom. Done.

Now what about the Eastern Conference? Well that’s where things get a lot more complicated. Obviously a team in Hamilton should go to the Northwest Division to be with their geographic rivals Buffalo and Toronto. So who gets bumped out?

Now Boston is clearly the most Atlantic team in that division, and there is obviously a big city rivalry with New York, so let’s get them into the Atlantic Division. That should make things look something like this…

This splits up the Keystone Rivals, but it is rather inevitable. In the build-up to the Winter Classic everyone was saying that the Flyers biggest rivalry was with the Rangers and not the Penguins, despite the fact that these two teams haven’t met in the playoffs in the past 15 years, and only twice in the past 25 years (while facing the Penguins 5 times in that span), so I guess we should keep the Flyers with the New York teams. This would also make the Southeast Division the Superstar Division with Crosby, Ovechkin, and Stamkos giving the NHL a whole lot of games of the week.

The obvious losers in this plan are fans of the Bruins-Habs rivalry, which is arguably the greatest in the league. So if that’s too important to split up, I guess that means that the Sabres have to be the team to move to the Atlantic Division, to join their cross-state rivals. This could make it look something like…

With Buffalo joining the Atlantic, it makes more sense to keep the nearby Penguins in the mix and bump the Flyers, who are both Souther and Easter than Pittsburgh.

Now this leaves Boston, a major NBC Draw alone with four Canadian teams, hardly ideal for the league. There is a slightly more radical idea that could appease NBC and fans of Bruins-Habs matchups.

Move both the Bruins and Canadiens into the Atlantic Division, bumping both Pennsylvania teams out of the mix. This is pretty geographically harmonious, but would the NHL willingly lower the number of games Crosby visits Madison Square Garden? Would the man who owns the Flyers (and a Cable Network….) give up ratings and gates bonanzas with the Rangers and Penguins?

The truth is, the Northeast and Atlantic Divisions are about as close to untouchable as you can find in the National Hockey League. Both groups of five have pretty clear sets of rivalries that help everyone out both North and South of the border. Look at the vetoed plan for realignment, all five teams in both divisions were kept together. They even decided to place Tampa Bay and Florida with the Northeastern teams as opposed to moving the Penguins out of the Atlantic.

In short, they are not carving these two up. Which would give us the final and most likely scenario for realignment.

Yup, that’s the Hamilton Coyotes playing in the Southeast Division. This would ensure that the NHL could milk those cash cows a little longer. Once more, when they are finally able to get their four Division/Conference plan up and running, Hamilton could get to know their rival Panthers and Lightning a little bit before they come and join the Northeast in realignment, and/or are forced to move to Quebec City in a few years.

Also, we could get a better chance to modify the proposed playoff format for next year a little, since we would get two 15 team halves.

In summary, the league would look like this:

PACIFIC: Anaheim, Los Angeles, San Jose, Colorado, Dallas
NORTHWEST: Vancouver, Edmonton, Calgary, Winnipeg, Minnesota
CENTRAL: Chicago, Detroit, Nashville, St. Louis, Columbus
NORTHEAST: Toronto, Ottawa, Montreal, Boston, Buffalo
ATLANTIC: Pittsburgh, Philadelphia, New Jersey, New York Rangers, New York Islanders
SOUTHEAST: Hamilton, Washington, Carolina, Florida, Tampa Bay

If anyone has ever been to Hamilton, you’ll know it may not have a lot in common with Miami or Raleigh, but hey, at least it’s not Winnipeg.

Anyone out there have any thoughts on how things could shake up with the Hamilton Coyotes?

 

 

Other Posts in this Series

Jan 17

Imagining How the Kansas City Coyotes Will Effect NHL Realignment

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In my last post I looked at the possible relocation of the Phoenix Coyotes to Seattle and how that could have an effect on NHL Realignment for next year. As you can probably guess from the title, we’ll look at how things could shake up if the Coyotes move to a city that has a very new 17,000+ arena and has been rumoured to be in the running for a new franchise for a while, Kansas City.

If you didn’t read my previous post/suffer from memory loss, the TL;DR of it is as follows:

  • The NHL can’t have Winnipeg be in the Southeast for one more year, so some changes are coming.
  • Even if they can’t blow up the league for next year, I think that there can be some minor tweak now to set up for seismic shift down the line.
  • They have to wait and see where Phoenix goes first before any changes can happen – they don’t want to move Columbus, Nashville, or Detroit to the East, only to have them be forced to switch back a year later
  • I think that Columbus is the most likely team to move East, it’s the best hope of saving this franchise. Detroit will have to wait in line even longer. If the NHL decides to swap Nashville instead, that is an easy change from these maps, Detroit is more complicated though.
  • Also, if Columbus moves to the Southeast, they can join their division rivals in Florida and Tampa Bay in moving to join the Northeast in the plan that was vetoed, only they make some ounce of geographic sense.

If the Coyotes move to Kansas, will they stay in the Pacific Division or will they go to a different division in the West? Kansas City is in the heart of the Mid-West and of course have a cross-state rival in St. Louis but are relatively close to Colorado, Dallas, Chicago, and Minnesota. In short, they really could fit anywhere.

The first idea is to look at the path of least resistance, and keep them in the Pacific Division. Of course it is a little bonkers to have a team in the middle of the Great Plains play with the three California teams, it would give a slight reprieve to Dallas, who has been stuck with the California teams for the past thirteen years and would no doubt love to have someone in their Division that shares a Time Zone with them. Of course, we would need to get Winnipeg out of the Southeast, and it could look something like this…

Obviously the Jets would love to join the other Western Canadian teams and Minnesota would get their dream of joining Chicago and Detroit.

Colorado would obviously be isolated here with the four Canadian teams. I’m not sure how will the market would take that, especially since they probably belong with the California teams. Most importantly, this would not be the way to establish a market in Kansas City. Remember, this isn’t Winnipeg, people won’t buy sell their children for season tickets, they need a reason to care, and having the majority of their games start after 9pm local time would not help.

Sorry Minnesota, you’re sticking with the Canadians! Let’s try to get the Kansas KCoyotes (as they shall henceforth be referred to as — since the Kansas City Scouts are in New Jersey after all) in with the St. Louis Blues, which is most certainly where they belong, they are in the same state after all. It could look like this..

 Kansas City, Colorado, and Winnipeg would all see this as a slam dunk, getting some actual honest to goodness geographic rivals for a change. Dallas and Minnesota would much rather get in the Central Division, where they belong, but at least some of the problems with late starts and Time Zones that they currently face would be alleviated. Still though, I don’t see Dallas being too happy with this, even though Colorado is only one hour ahead, as opposed to two like all the other teams, they still don’t share a division with anyone in their Time Zone. Also, I know that Minnesota is a strong hockey market and all, but to share a division with four Canadian teams — especially one that is two Time Zones away — is a big ask.

So can we get both the Stars and the KCoyotes out of the Pacific Division, while saving Minnesota, or Colorado from a division that has four Canadian teams?

Let’s see…

Now that I look at it, I think it’s the Worst of Both Worlds from the two previous ideas. It does get Dallas into the division they want, and it gets Kansas City out of the Pacific. Unfortunately it breaks up the Western Canadian teams. Although competitive balance changes all the time, it’s hard not to see this proposed Northwest Division as a bit of a joke, currently none of those five teams are in playoff position, they have early 2000s Southeast Division written all over them. I know that the Oilers will get good and the Wild and Jets have shown flashes this year, but come one. This is only a temporary plan anyway, so we need to look at short-term competitive balance for a bit too.

So I think that the second one is not only the best, but also the most likely. In case you don’t feel like scrolling back up that’ll get us.

PACIFIC: Anaheim, Los Angeles, San Jose, Colorado, Dallas
NORTHWEST: Vancouver, Edmonton, Calgary, Winnipeg, Minnesota
CENTRAL: Chicago, Detroit, Nashville, St. Louis, Kansas City
NORTHEAST: Toronto, Ottawa, Montreal, Boston, Buffalo
ATLANTIC: Pittsburgh, Philadelphia, New Jersey, New York Rangers, New York Islanders
SOUTHEAST: Columbus, Washington, Carolina, Florida, Tampa Bay

This seems like a nice and happy compromise that keeps the fewest people unhappy, which should be the aim of this whole process, as opposed to just keeping the East Coast owners happy.

Plus come on, who doesn’t love that Northwest Division?

Hands down people in Minneapolis-St. Paul.

 

 

 

Jan 16

Imagining how the Seattle Coyotes Will Affect NHL Realignment

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Last week everyone was surprised by the NHLPA’s plan to put the kaibosh on realignment for the 2012-13 season. Many are casting this as a doom and gloom for another lost season, but I just don’t think that’s the case. There is way too much money on the table, for all sides, to risk losing so much time again.

I am of the opinion that the NHL will be realigned in some way next  season. It’s ridiculous to have Winnipeg be in the Southeast Division for one more year. However, there is one more ball that needs to drop before they can commit to a new plan, the $25 million (a year) question. Who will own the Phoenix Coyotes and where will they play?

After a failed attempt to completely blow up the league, the NHL still could do some sort of a change. I think that they are waiting until the Phoenix mess sorts itself out, so they don’t need to do something awkward like moving Columbus to the Southeast Division only to have to change them back a year or two later, and after they’ve moved all the way up to 13th in the Conference!

Apparently the front-runners for a Coyotes new home are Kansas City, Seattle, Las Vegas, Quebec City, or Somewhere in Southern Ontario.

Should the Coyotes make the move, it gives a convenient way to make some sort of a swap. I mean Kansas City is only slightly more Pacific than Dallas is, and nobody would be stupid enough to have them in that division, right?

In this post, I’ll look at what the NHL could look like if Phoenix moves to either Seattle, with more posts coming later on this week with a focus on each other location for the ‘Yotes. I’ll try to keep some geographic sense, and preserve traditional rivalries as best as possible.

THE SEATTLE COYOTES

This to me is the most likely scenario, especially after Bill Daly went so far as to publicly state “there is a group interested in bringing hockey to the Seattle area” last July, with rumours ramping up this past December. The Pacific Northwest is a massively untapped hockey market, and I am kind of surprised that Seattle or Portland weren’t considered more thoroughly in the last round of expansion that brought such A-list cities as Nashville and Columbus to the dance.

Obviously, moving a team in Seattle could stay in the Pacific Division with little to no problem. So everything stays the same, right? Well not so fast here. Dallas, with it’s proximity to the Gulf of Mexico (and therefore Atlantic Ocean) has no business playing in the Pacific Division. They just got a new owner, who I could see Bettman trying to please with a shift of division where they don’t have to start a majority of their games starting at 10 local time.

So who takes Dallas’s place in the Pacific Division? Well, Canadian fans won’t be happy but I think that the Vancouver Canucks are the team to make the move, especially with a team in Seattle, creating a nice cross-border rivalry in the same vein as Toronto-Buffalo or Minnesota-Winnipeg. Plus, all five teams would be in the Pacific Division, and Vancouver is almost 300km closer to Anaheim than they are to Winnipeg.

In short, things would look like this.

I have Columbus moving East but it doesn’t make much of a difference if Nashville goes instead from this alignment. I think that Columbus’s struggle off-ice makes them a stronger contender to move. The last thing that Gary Bettman wants is another of the teams to come in during his watch to move. So if moving Columbus East lessens the financial hemorrhaging that’s going on in Ohio, then so be it. Of course, Columbus would want to go to either the Northeast Division or more likely the Atlantic Division, but I doubt that’s going to happen. If they go to the Northeast Division, then it starts a domino effect that no doubt pushes the Bruins to the Atlantic, and the Flyers or Penguins to the Southeast, which I think will be pretty unlikely to happen. So the Southeast it is for them, even if Central Ohio is neither South, not East in the grand scheme of things.

In this map I was able to get Dallas to the Central Division where they belong at the expense of Minnesota who would also like to join Detroit and Chicago. But Vancouver swapping out for nearby Winnipeg is sure to be a good thing for fans in the Twin Cities. However, if pleasing the Minnesota Wild is important, and so is keeping all the Western Canadian teams in the same division, we could get something like….

I much prefer the first option now that I look at it. Lumping Seattle in with four Canadian teams would not bode well for building a fan base. Although I guess Dallas would be slightly appeased with the addition of Colorado to their division, since they are only one Time Zone away, unlike the rest of their division.

Although there is a third sort of hybrid option here that could look like this…

This would have the Avalanche moving out of the Northwest, where they probably don’t belong, and same for the Stars, who really are a Central Team. The big losers here would be Minnesota. But they would at least get the nearby rival in Winnipeg, a team that they actually share a Time Zone with, so baby steps here I suppose.

Personally I prefer Option #1, due to it’s focus on Time Zones, but I think that Option #3 would be the most likely. I think that the NHL will do a small change for next year with a full scale blow up the league approach later in a few years.

Which just for a reminder gets us this:

PACIFIC: Los Angeles, Anaheim, San Jose, Vancouver, Seattle
NORTHWEST: Edmonton, Calgary, Winnipeg, Minnesota, Colorado
CENTRAL: Detroit, Chicago, Nashville, St. Louis, Dallas
NORTHEAST: Toronto, Ottawa, Buffalo, Montreal, Boston
ATLANTIC: Philadelphia, Pittsburgh, New Jersey, New York Rangers, New York Islanders
SOUTHEAST: Washington, Columbus, Carolina, Florida, Tampa Bay

Or what the hell, we could leave the Jets in the Southeast, because that makes so much sense, doesn’t it?

This approach could work just as well if the team moves to Portland, which would be more or less the same, although it would be less urgent to get them in the same division as Vancouver. Of course, I wouldn’t expect a team in Portland or Seattle to be called they Coyotes. They would probably come up with some new fun names like the Rosebuds or Metropolitans. Because dead franchises make great names upon their triumphant return, don’t they?

 

 

Click for other Posts in this series.

Jan 12

Face/Off: A WWE Style Pay-Per-View Featuring NHL Players – Edition I

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Today on the excellent Marek vs. Wyshinski podcast they discussed the best Heels and Babyfaces in the NHL, there were some great mentions including Sean Avery, Brad Marchand, and Teemu Selanne. Honestly, I had considered that as a post for here, but now that they did that I would feel like more of a hack than I already do for posting that.

After thinking about the best heels and faces in the NHL, we can take it to the next obvious step, a full scale Wrestling Pay-Per-View Card featuring NHL Players in WWE Style (worked) matches. I hope this to be a recurring feature here on Blade Jobs of Steel, so here is the car (and the booking) for Face/Off.

Ryan Getzlaf/Cory Perry/Bobby Ryan vs. Rick Nash/Jeff Carter/James Wiznewski
Whoever Scores the Fall Gets Traded

We’ll start things out with a good six man tag to get the crowd pumped, featuring six men who shouldn’t find the bottom of the card a strange place. The RPG Line does have some established chemistry here, but don’t count out Wiznewski’s mean streak or Nash’s experience advantage. To sweeten the pot, we’ll add the stipulation that whoever gets the pinfall will be able to leave the sinking ship they are stuck on. It would certainly add some intrigue, especially if Getzlaf turns on Perry to steal the win.

Dustin Penner vs. Dustin Byfuglien
Sumo Match

This match pretty much has to happen. I considered making this a Pancakes on a Pole Match, but I don’t want to watch either man try to climb.

Marc Savard vs. Matt Cooke

This has redemption story written all over it. Is Savard medically cleared to fight? Even more compelling, with Cooke now as a face, he would clearly be apologetic for his actions. Savard, being a Bruin, could go full heel, refusing to forgive him and seek out vengeance, needing an eye-for-an-eye from Cooke.

Phil Kessel (w/Brian Burke) vs. Taylor Hall (w/Kevin Lowe)
Barnyard Brawl!!!

Since Anonymous General Manager Gary Bettman refused to allow Burke and Lowe to have this match, they could easily pick players to have the match on their behalf. Burke would obviously take the Wisconsin born superstar, and Lowe could take Hall as a taunting “You could have had him if you didn’t trade for Kessel” move. Since the Barnyard is one step above the Thunder Dome, this match would be full of interference from just about everyone. I would be interested in seeing how Penner would react to this match, but he would clearly be gassed after his own match.

Ilya Bryzgalov’s Interview Segment: Behind the Masks

After the huge over-booked match before, a good promo would fit here nicely. In the spirit of Piper’s Pit, the Highlight Reel, and Peep Show, we have our new wrestling talk show featuring everyone’s favourite rambling Russian, who will show us what he’s like behind the many masks that he wears. The guest is kind of inconsequential to me, because they would just distract us from Ilya dropping some Bryzgoledge on us.

Scott Gomez vs. Rick DiPietro vs. Roberto Loungo
vs. Vincent LeCavalier vs. Ville Leino vs. Ilya Kovalchuk
Money in the Bank Ladder Match – Winner Gets to Keep Their Ridiculous Contract

This match featuring six of the most untradeable players whose name doesn’t rhyme with Romas Raberle is sure to be heated. All of their contracts would be suspended high above the ring in a briefcase and a chaotic ladder match would take place where the winner gets to keep their own. All six of these guys want to be able to keep getting paid to not score, get injured, pump tires, play on the second line, or whiff in a shootout and are sure to fight tooth and nail to not have to take a pay cut.

Ryan Smyth vs. Cal Clutterbuck
Hair vs. Hair Match

The Mullet vs. The Moustache in a ultimate showdown for hockey hair. I think that Clutterbuck has the edge, but it’s hard to tell since the Minnesota statisticians would most certainly pad his win/loss record.

Jaromir Jagr vs. Artem Anisimov

The Russian Rifleman goes to take on the Sultan of Saluting. This should be a fun match with both men stealing each others taunts to get the crowd going. I could see this being a fun long feud to really help the younger Anisimov make a name for himself against the veteran. Mike Rupp and Scott Hartnell would be great to add as guest commentators.

Teemu Selanne vs. Niklas Lidstrom vs. Tim Thomas
Loser Ages

All three of these men have found the fountain of youth and continue to be excellent in their more venerable years. If they have a Triple Threat Match it’s sure to be an outright classic since all men can still go, but not for much longer. The man who takes the pinfall here would have to give in to Father Time and begin to play like their own age.

The Sedin Twins vs. The Bru-Tang Clan (Patrice Bergeron and Brad Marchand)
The Boston Bruins and Vancouver Canucks are the Lumberjacks

This is obviously a battle in the larger war of these two mega-stables looking to take over. Daniel and Henrik look to get revenge on the man that punched one of them a dozen times in the Stanley Cup Finals, and the two that scored the four goals to send their city ablaze. The ring will be surrounded by members of both teams, so it’s sure to get ugly. I think that whichever team you consider the heels should get the win here to really extend the feud.

Sidney Crosby vs. Alexander Ovechkin

The battle for the best in the world between two men who clearly have the talent but are falling under some hard times of late. Both men are looking for redemption against their arch rivals. Crosby has the advantage (World Juniors, 2009 Playoffs, and 2010 Olympics), will this streak continue?

…and that’s the show! Tune in later for another edition of Face/Off and we’ll see where things go from here.

Jan 12

Possible Rumble Winners

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With the WWE’s Royal Rumble just over 2 weeks away, it’s time to start figuring out who could just win it. So far the All-Star participants of Sheamus, Santino Marella, Jinder Mahal, and Wade Barrett have been announced. The only wrestlers we can assume to be out are CM Punk and Dolph Ziggler, who have both been announced for the WWE Championship Match.

In this piece I’ll look at the top thirteen contenders to win the big match and head to Wrestlemania 28 for a shot at working the undercard below Rock-Cena. Maybe their match won’t even jerk the curtain this time!

THE ROCK

I’ll get the Wild Card out of the way first. How amazing would it be if we heard “If ya smelllllll….” after the countdown for #30? Now if they were that brave, they would either need Cena to toss him (either legally or illegally) or have The Rock win, and Cena realize that he has to win the WWE Title in the Elimination Chamber in order to get that big match, otherwise someone like Punk will steal it. It could make for some interesting storytelling, but it’s probably not going to happen.

Likelihood of Happening: Near impossible
Possible Wrestlemania Opponents: John Cena (obviously), CM Punk (unlikely)

JOHN CENA

I think that he’s going to have a match with Kane at the Rumble instead of being involved in the actual match. He really does not have much to gain from any sort of involvement in the Rumble, unless The Rock is there too. I personally wish that he was taking on Punk at the event in order to try to make sure that the Title is on the line in the big match, but such is life. If he wins, then The Rock needs to win the Gold at the Elimination Chamber, which would be cool, but is not happening

Likelihood of Happening: Even more impossible than The Rock winning
Possible Wrestlemania Opponents: The Rock

CHRIS JERICHO

Rumours have been swirling of a Jericho-Punk Wrestlemania match taking place for a while now, and what better way to set it up here? How much would Jericho brag about winning the Rumble? I mean, it’s one of the few accomplishments that he doesn’t have on his resume, so why not add it? Maybe he’ll even talk afterwards! As I write this, I get thinking about how great a Jericho-Bryan match would be, but I think that they’ll save that one for later, especially since both wrestlers seem to be playing heels at the moment.

Likelihood of Happening: Strong possibility
Possible Wrestlemania Opponents: CM Punk, both are the best in the world after all…

SHEAMUS

If Mark Henry were still World Heavyweight Champion, I would be almost certain about this win. The company seems very high on the big Irishman and a World Title victory over the monster heel champion would really be great for him, but that may have changed when Daniel Bryan cashed his shot in and started his heel turn. The idea of a face Sheamus chasing the heel Bryan really doesn’t appeal to me. Although if the WWE decides to put the belt back on Mark Henry or Big Show (possibly at the Rumble itself) then a Sheamus Rumble win wouldn’t surprise me

Likelihood of Happening: Moderate
Possible Wrestlemania Opponents: Mark Henry or Big Show

JACK SWAGGER

The WWE shocked us all at Wrestlemania 26 by giving Swagger the Money in the Bank Briefcase, and then shocked us even more by giving him the title a few days later. Will they shock us and have him win the Rumble? Signs do point for an eventual showdown between Swagger and Ziggler, so why not make it for the title? Had they even mentioned Swagger’s World Title reign in the past few months, he could be considered a strong contender here, but that just isn’t happening.

Likelihood of Happening: Slim to None
Possible Wrestlemania Opponents: Dolph Ziggler

REY MYSTERIO

If John Cena and Edge taught us one thing, it’s that the WWE loves to throw us a curveball every now and then at the Rumble. Rey does already have a Rumble victory to his credit, and he did that after drawing #2, so it’s quite believable that he could do it after drawing #30. He could be a great foil for a heel Daniel Bryan, or if they wanted to hotshot the WWE Title back to Alberto Del Rio, that could work very well too, or he could help establish Ziggler as a strong heel champion.

Likelihood of Happening: Fairly Low
Possible Wrestlemania Opponents: Daniel Bryan, Alberto Del Rio, Dolph Ziggler

ALBERTO DEL RIO

See above for Rey. Alberto would be slightly less of a shock, since a) he won the event last year and b) he should return from injury before Mysterio does. He could gloat about joining Hogan, Michaels, and Austin as the only two-time winners for pretty much ever. Plus, he has a ready made feud with Punk, the man who injured him.

Likelihood of Happening: Fairly Low
Possible Wrestlemania Opponents: CM Punk

BIG SHOW

Every year they hype up The Big Show as a favourite to win, but every year he fails to do win. They may consider giving him a big win here to further pad his resume and to set up a rematch with Daniel Bryan, who he has been feuding with. I do imagine though that he won’t even be in the match, as a Bryan-Show-Henry Triple Threat will be on the undercard, but if they do a Henry-Bryan 1:1 it could work.

Likelihood of Happening: Nearly impossible
Possible Wrestlemania Opponents: Daniel Bryan, Mark Henry

KANE

Like Big Show, they hype him as a favourite every year, but like Big Show he never wins. Maybe this could be his year. They seem to be pushing him like crazy. I imagine that we’ll see something with him and a mask at Wrestlemania, so why not make it a Mask vs. Title match? If he won, he could take on one of Smackdown’s giants, CM Punk, or maybe have The Undertaker return and win the Title at the Elimination Chamber to set up a big match there. But I kind of doubt it.

Likelihood of Happening: Yeah, that’s not happening…especially because I think that he’s going to be facing Cena at the Rumble.
Possible Wrestlemania Opponents: Mark Henry, Big Show, CM Punk, Daniel Bryan, The Undertaker

THE MIZ

I’m not really sure what to make of The Miz’s current push. One week they make him strong as can be, the next week they have him running from R-Truth. He would make a great Wrestlemania opponent for CM Punk, or for Daniel Bryan, given their history. I have a feeling though that they will stretch out the feud with Truth until the big event, which most certainly won’t involve either top title.

Likelihood of Happening: Probably not, although he would be great about it
Possible Wrestlemania Opponents: CM Punk, Daniel Bryan

CODY RHODES

Boy does he have a rocket strapped to his back or what? He’s taking out legends left and right, and is having a great run with the Intercontinental Title. If he wants to be truly the greatest IC Champ of all time, then why not have a chance to be only the third man in history to be Intercontinental and World Champion at the same time? He would be such a great heel about that, it would be amazing! Plus a match with either Punk or Bryan would be off the chain.

Likelihood of Happening: Not this year, but he should be considered a very early contender for 2013
Possible Wrestlemania Opponents: CM Punk, Daniel Bryan

WADE BARRETT

I wouldn’t have even mentioned him, until he threw Randy Orton down the stairs on the last Smackdown of 2011. The company seems to finally have gotten behind him as a Main Eventer, and a win here could really ensure that he stays in the top tier for a long time. Plus, it’s in Randy Orton’s hometown, so how would that not be the greatest heel move ever? He could make a great Wrestlemania opponent for CM Punk, or they could have Randy Orton win the World Heavyweight Title at the Elimination Chamber to set up their final showdown in the Main Event.

Likelihood of Happening: Surprisingly High
Possible Wrestlemania Opponents: CM Punk, Randy Orton

RANDY ORTON

Despite his injuries, I think that Orton remains the favourite here. For starters, the event is in his hometown. Since he is not Booker T or Jim Ross, that should be to his advantage. Secondly, and more importantly, he was arguably the best in-ring performer for the company in 2011, putting on great matches with everyone from The Miz to CM Punk to Christian to Cody Rhodes to Wade Barrett to Mark Henry; he deserves to be rewarded for all of his hard work. Sure he won the match in 2009, but we have not had a repeat winner since 2001, so why not? Also, they accidentally advertised an Orton-Bryan match for Mania back in the fall, so there is that.

Likelihood of Happening: Very high, despite his injury…you don’t need to be too involved to win the Rumble, just ask Edge or Vince McMahon!
Possible Wrestlemania Opponents: CM Punk, Daniel Bryan, Wade Barrett, Dolph Ziggler

FANTASY BOOKING TIME

If you had Fantasy Booking, fair point, you’re free to go. Nothing else after this.

My idea for this is to have Orton win but with an asterisk. Have him draw a middle of the pack number in the 10-15 range. As he walks down to the ring to the roar of crowd, but then have that dastardly Wade Barrett run down, jump him the aisle before he makes it to the ring.

He gets stretchered out and the announcers say that Orton has been removed from the Rumble, and Teddy Long yells at someone like Ezekial Jackson or Hunico to go and take his place. Barrett comes in somewhere high like 24-28 and cleans house. He ends up clearing the ring, until he’s standing in by himself when 30 goes off, giving us a set final. Someone like Heath Slater comes down, very anti-climactically, while Barrett snickers. But just before he gets in, Orton jumps him, RKO’s him on the concrete and he gets stretchered out, Orton takes his place as #30, and eliminates Barrett to win.

Barrett can claim a miscarriage of justice and thinks of himself the rightful winner, since Orton was removed from the Rumble. They can easily set up a match to decide it at the Elimination Chamber where either Orton wins to go face Daniel Bryan, or they have it go to a No Contest to set up a Triple Threat match, either of which I’m cool with.

If not that, then Jericho wins clean as a whistle, and breaks down with fake tears of joy afterwards. That would be pretty cool too.

How about anyone else? What do you think?

Jan 11

NHL: Predicting the Second Half Standings for the Western Conference

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Last time, I posted my predictions for the second half of the Eastern Conference, today we’ll look at the more interesting Left Coast. Usually this Conference is more surprising than the East, but surprisingly, it is less of a surprise this year. Now that the Minnesota Wild have come back down to earth, the only major surprise is the St. Louis Blues, but they were probably heading to the playoffs anyway. The teams that were supposed to do well are doing well, outside of Anaheim and arguably Columbus.

How will it shake out? Well I think it’ll be like this..

CENTRAL DIVISION

Right now, Detroit, Chicago and St. Louis are essentially in a tie for first. Who will be able to make the push going forward? Can Nashville stay on the right side of the bubble? Is it possible for Columbus to get any worse?

  1. Chicago Blackhawks
  2. Detroit Red Wings
  3. St. Louis Blues
  4. Nashville Predators
  5. Columbus Blue Jackets

I’ll have Toews powering the Hawks to the top of this division, with the Wings and Blues not far behind, the Thrashers competing hard down the stretch and staying in the playoffs (with or without Sutter), and the Jackets being the winners of the Fail for Nail/Stink for Grink camp.

PACIFIC DIVISION

The Sharks and Kings seem to have turned things around, will it last? Can Phoenix continue to ride Mike Smith going forward? Dallas was a bright spot at the start of the year, will they continue to regress? Will the Ducks clean house?

  1. San Jose Sharks
  2. Los Angeles Kings
  3. Dallas Stars
  4. Phoenix Coyotes
  5. Anaheim Ducks

How the mighty have fallen. Last year, we were one Dallas Stars win away from having all five of these teams in the playoffs. This year the Sharks are in the “Carolina Hurricanes Memorial 3rd Place You Don’t Deserve” spot. The Coyotes and Stars have exceeded expectations after both of them lost their best players to Winter Classic playing teams. The Ducks had decent expectations this year that have been shattered. Apparently nobody told Bob Murray that Corey Perry is in fact not Hercules.

NORTHWEST DIVISION

Will the Canucks continue to surge? Will the Wild continue to fall? Will the Flames continue to tread water? Will the young teams in Colorado and Edmonton still be so hard to read?

  1. Vancouver Canucks
  2. Minnesota Wild
  3. Colorado Avalanche
  4. Calgary Flames
  5. Edmonton Oilers

Last year this division was the Vancouver Canucks and losers. This year the Canucks struggled out of the gate, while the Oilers and Wild were dominant. Things seemed to have normalized and the Canucks once again have the best record in the league, while the Oilers are near the bottom. I think that Calgary will probably get worse, and Colorado will go up and down. I think that the Wild will be in the playoff hunt until the end, but my heart likes the Dallas Stars a bit better down the stretch.

That should set up the playoffs like this…

#1 Vancouver Canucks vs. #8 Dallas Stars
#2 Chicago Blackhawks vs. #7 Nashville Predators
#3 San Jose Sharks vs. #6 Los Angeles Kings
#4 Detroit Red Wings vs. #5 St. Louis Blues

How can you look at those brackets and not hope and pray for a Vancouver-Chicago Western Conference Finals? So let’s have that happen with the Canucks evening up the playoff series at 2-2, to go to the finals to take on the (healthy) Penguins.

Even though it breaks my Canadian heart, I’ll go with Crosby returning to Vancouver as a conquering hero to deny the Canucks for the second straight year. Hopefully the presence of Sid will lesson the chance of riots.

 

Jan 11

NHL: Predicting the Second Half Standings for the Eastern Conference

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Looking at the NHL Standings, we can see that most teams have past the half-way mark.  There have been some very pleasant surprises in Winnipeg, Toronto, Ottawa, St. Louis, New York, Minnesota, and Florida. There have been some not so pleasant surprises in Washington, Anaheim, Tampa Bay, Columbus, Montreal, and Pittsburgh General Hospital.

The second half promises to be just as exciting, with the Southeast Division nearly upside down, the Central Division in a dead heat, and the other four divisions looking pretty strange as well.

In this post, I’ll look at the Eastern Conference, division by division, and go from there.

ATLANTIC DIVISION

Right now the Rangers are shockingly the class of the East, with the Philadelphia Flyers approaching quickly. The Penguins have been up and down, depending on their health. The Islanders have fizzled after a hot start, and who knows what to expect out of the Devils going forward?

I think it’ll look something like this…

  1. Philadelphia Flyers
  2. New York Rangers
  3. Pittsburgh Penguins
  4. New Jersey Devils
  5. New York Islanders
The Flyers and Rangers should duke it out for the top prize, I’ll give the win to Philly in the end. The Penguins will somehow find a way to make the playoffs on the back of Malkin, Fleury, and Balysma. The Devils will be a bubble team, but should make the playoffs while the Isles will continue to struggle near the basement, for another year.

NORTHEAST DIVISION

Outside of the Bruins in first place, this division is in a huge state of flux. The Canadiens and Sabres have been underachieving, while the Sens and Leafs have been overachieving. Can either the Habs or the Sabres turn things around? Will the Bubble of Ontario burst?

  1. Boston Bruins
  2. Ottawa Senators
  3. Toronto Maple Leafs
  4. Buffalo Sabres
  5. Montreal Canadiens

The Bruins are easily the class of the league, and should remain near the top of the league. The tow Ontario teams will battle near the playoff bubble. I’m a Sens fan, so I’m going to go with them making the playoffs at the expense of the Leafs. The Sabres will have some sort of fire-sale and/or some front office or bench changes. The Habs will struggle to score, hit, and do much right, but the media will of course focus on what language the coach speaks instead of the actual make-up of the team.

SOUTHEAST DIVISION

Everyone and their brother had the Capitals and Lightning in 1-2, but right now they sit 3-4. Both teams have struggled to get any traction, one from an apparent lack of effort, and the other from a clear lack of goaltending. The Winnipeg Jets have been hovering in the 7-10 range giving some hope that there may be playoff hockey in Manitoba. The Carolina Hurricanes, were a team that people thought would be decent but have been terrible, while the Florida Panthers are a team that people thought would be terrible and have been downright great.

  1. Washington Capitals
  2. Florida Panthers
  3. Winnipeg Jets
  4. Tampa Bay Lightning
  5. Carolina Hurricanes

The Capitals are only six points back from the Panthers right now, but I think that they can turn it on to go on a huge run. The Panthers will still find a way to return to the playoffs, but the same can’t be said for the Jets. Tampa Bay is too weak on defense and in net to recover from the hole they are in, while the Hurricanes are near full Fail for Nail/Stink for Grink mode.

This’ll leave the playoff match-ups like this:

#1 Boston Bruins vs. #8 New Jersey Devils
#2 Philadelphia Flyers vs. #7 Ottawa Senators
#3 Washington Capitals vs. #6 Florida Panthers
#4 New York Rangers vs. #5 Pittsburgh Penguins

And you know, I love a great story, so let’s go with Sidney Crosby returning to lead the Penguins out of the Eastern Conference by beating the Flyers, to set up a Stanely Cup match with…

Wait until next time to see that one!

Jan 10

New Years Resolutions for Top NHL and WWE Stars

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Even big stars in the WWE and NHL are looking to improve themselves. Like all the rest of us they make resolutions to improve themselves at the beginning of the year. Sometimes, they even follow through with them! We here at the world headquarters of Blade Jobs of Steel found their lists and are going to share them with you here in a world wide exclusive.

Note: List may or may not have been obtained through phone hacking

NHL Stars

  • Alex Burrows: Stop Playing Games on an Empty Stomach
  • Ilya Bryzgalov: His list was to huMANGous big to write down, but hey, you think we’ve got problems here?
  • Sean Avery: Get On The Internet More, Never Take Off Sunglasses, Drink More Orange Juice…Oh and Don’t Get Demoted to the AHL
  • Dustin Penner: Teach Wife to Make Waffles
  • Yevgeni Kuznetsov: Be More Like Those Cold Robotic Soviets That Canadians Hated So Much
  • The Boston Bruins: Continue to defend themselves from such dastards as Sami Salo and Ryan Miller. Those guys are dangerous, and hey, did you ever notice that they never get suspended?
  • Alexander Ovechkin: Stop shaving, Score Goals
  • Roberto Loungo: Make a Wooden Car — to simultaneously pump tires and ride the pine
  • Sidney Crosby: Get better, that’s not a joke, the game is no fun without him
  • Tyler Kennedy: Keep Rubbing Two Sticks Together, Eventually a Fire Will Start
  • Donald Fehr: Compromise with the NHL on Something (this was under “Hit the Gym”, “Keep in Touch with Old Friends”, and “Follow Through on New Year’s Resolutions…ha ha ha ha ha ha”)

WWE Stars

  • The Undertaker: Take on Hornswoggle at Wrestlemania to continue the D-X Gauntlet
  • CM Punk: Only Three More Divas For Bingo!
  • John Morrison: Publicly insult future Hall of Famers, it worked out so well in 2011!
  • Mid-Card Faces Treading Water: Partner with John Morrison, to turn heel on him and get a Main Event Run
  • Triple H: Work A Program With Another Young-Up-And-Comer — Undertaker and Kevin Nash are the future of this business!
  • Samoa Joe: Swap name on CM Punk’s WWE Contract and convince everyone the last six years have been a dream
  • Dolph Ziggler: Double Career Time as World Champion, that’s right 24 minutes this year!
  • The Rock: Never leave…until it’s time to leave again
  • John Cena: Cut moving promos, work 5 Star Matches, be the consummate company man, put over internet favourites, remain hated.
Jan 09

Welcome, one and all

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Greetings and salutations all.

Welcome to the ground floor of this new endeavor of mine. After many attempts to blog, I’m finally set, 2012 will be my year — assuming those stupid Mayans don’t ruin it.

After not updating my personal blog with anything personal in forever and a day, I’ve decided to make the split. This blog will feature my love of wrestling and hockey, while Glenthoughts.com will be about my own personal foibles in China.

So kick back, enjoy the ride and get ready for your weekly dose of nerdiness here at Blade Jobs of Steel!!