Blah blah blah, intro intro intro…there’s not time for that at all IT’S WRESTLEMANIA!!! Let’s get started.
The Usos vs. vs. The Real Americans vs. Ryback and Curtis Axel vs. Los Matadores
Kickoff Match for the WWE Tag Team Titles
What SHOULD Happen: Why is this match evening happening? Why are the Rhodes Brothers not in this? I’m a little confused here to be honest. Questions of logic notwithstanding, this match should be pretty fun. With the exception of Rybaxel, these teams can all flat out go in the ring. I would love to see The Real Americans win here and getting a quick month long reign before dropping the belt back to The Usos in a gimmick match at Extreme Rules. This could set off the inevitable Cesaro face turn and carry off a nice little feud through the summer. Meanwhile The Usos can feud with Harper and Rowan or the debuting Ascension for the tag straps.
What WILL Happen: It’s the pre-show, it’s Wrestlemania, there’s no way that the faces are losing here, long-live The Usos.
Lights, fireworks, GOD BLESS AMERICA!!!!
The Shield vs. The Suits
What SHOULD Happen: Not long ago, I was convinced that The Shield would EXPLODE~! before or at Wrestlemania. But now, I’m really not so sure. The group has gained a tremendous amount of life through their recent face turn and can last as a unit until at least the summer. When this match was announced I was convinced we would see Ambrose and/or Rollins make a turn here, but now I think that’s not a good idea at all. Just let the Hounds of Justice get a clean and dominant win and let them Triple Bomb Kane through a table and move on from there.
What WILL Happen: I have a bad feeling about this, I think that we may just see a heel turn and the old guys get the win here.
Impromptu Match/Segment #1
What SHOULD Happen: Something to remind people Hogan is the host, I hope he lays into Zeb Coulter somehow or another.
What WILL Happen: Let’s go with that…
Daniel Bryan vs. Triple H
Winner Gains Entry to the Main Event
What SHOULD Happen: Triple H taps like a little child and Bryan YESes his way to the main event. There’s no other option here. Still though, it should be a hell of a match and is early pick for match of the night.
What WILL Happen: They can’t be that trollish can they?
Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal
What SHOULD Happen: So far only 27 of the 30 participants have been announced, with the additional possibility that Christian my be injured and unable to compete. There aren’t too many guys returning soon from injury, so I think that the three others will be Alexander Rusev, Hacksaw Jim Duggan and El Torito. A rookie, a nostalgia act, and a midget. What better options are there, really?
As for the winner, there are a couple of big questions as to what the point of this Battle Royal is exactly. Is this just a fun, one time thing or an annual event? Will this be seen like the King of the Ring as a “spring board” for bigger and better things, or will this be to put over the biggest name?
Personally, I see this being an annual event as a way to get a guy into the upper card. So for that end, I think that the winner should be Big E. He has all of the tools to be a major star in this company, he just needs the buy in from the powers that be. I’d like the final six or so to be Langston, Big Show, Ziggler, Sheamus, Christian, and Rusev. Sheamus and Christian get tied up in the ropes and Ziggler and Langston come and co-operate and throw them both over. Sheamus and Christian go out and brawl with one another on their way to the back to further that feud. A few minutes later Rusev and Ziggler both get tied up in the ropes themselves and Langston goes and dumps the two over, leaving Big E and The Big Show as the last two in the ring. The two have a quick little match that ends with Langston body slamming Big Show, a la Wrestlemania III, before clotheslining him out of the ring to win the match.
The next night on RAW, Ziggler then gets upset and jealously attacks Big E, turning heel saying that he eliminated the big monster, allowing his former ungrateful protege to win, and we have a great feud for the IC belt going forward.
What WILL Happen: Sheamus is the smart pick, so let’s go with that…
John Cena vs. Bray Wyatt
What SHOULD Happen: “He’s got the whoollllle woorrrrlllldddd in his hannnddddds….”
Man I hope Wyatt wins here, it would really, really make him look like a million bucks, even if it is after interference from the Wyatt Family. Let’s have Wyatt win with some run ins and after the match Cena snaps and takes a chair to Rowan and/or Harper, which makes Wyatt cackle, setting up a great blow off match next month.
Follow the buzzards…
What WILL Happen: Cena wins at Wrestlemania, right?
Vickie Guerrero Divas Invitational
What SHOULD Happen: AJ wins, Paige debuts the next night as she celebrates, easy peasy.
What WILL Happen: With so many faces getting the W, let’s have a heel retain here.
The Undertaker vs. Brock Lesnar
What SHOULD Happen: The build up to this match has been subpar, especially compared to the last few editions of The Streak, however with that being said, this match should still be fantastic. With the exception of last years snooze-fest, all of Brock’s matches have been great since his big return. Sure he doesn’t exactly have the highest winning percentage, but he’s delivered in the ring and I think that this will be no exception. This match should be brutal, stiff, and down right exciting. After this match, I think that both men will disappear until Lesnar returns at Summerslam to take on Batista and Taker comes back next year to take on Bray Wyatt, Eater of Worlds.
What WILL Happen: Pretty much what I just said.
Impromptu Match/Segment #2
What SHOULD Happen: Hall of Fame time, please let Warrior speak.
What WILL Happen: Hall of Fame time, probably no message to the Warriors.
Randy Orton vs. Batistia vs. Daniel Bryan
WWE World Title Match
What SHOULD Happen: Simple, isn’t it? Bryan wins but before he can celebrate Triple H comes down and all three members of Evolution are beating him down when all of a sudden “Cult of Personality” blares and Punk runs down to make the save and we get confetti falling as these two hug, a sort of mashup of Wrestlemania VIII and XX, the two best endings ever.
What WILL Happen: I doubt we’ll see Punk, but damn would that be cool…
So the Extreme Rules card SHOULD end up as…
- WWE World Title Match: Daniel Bryan vs. Batista vs. Randy Orton vs. Triple H
- John Cena vs. Bray Wyatt in Steel Cage Match
- IC Title Match: Big E vs. Dolph Ziggler
- Roman Reigns vs. Kane in a Last Man Standing Match
- Big Show vs. Alexander Rusev
- Sheamus vs. Christian
- Tag Title Match: The Real Americans vs. The Usos