“Let’s just put the boss on the cover” – WWE Creative after running out of other ideas, probably. Photo from Wikimedia.
First off…what cruel mix of fate to put this event the same day as the Gold Medal Game? What are we to do here??
After an incredibly disappointing Royal Rumble, we’re here in a strange place. Have they learned that Daniel Bryan is who the fans want? Will they give him his big win here?
More importantly, what the hell is going to happen at Wrestlemania? It really seems like the company has no idea what’s going to happen at their biggest event of the year, and that really is a shame. The company is stacked with in-ring talent, but that just doesn’t seem to translate to the booking team. No wonder Punk walked out.
Honestly, we may be in for the strangest Road to Wrestlemania since the Year 2000, when the Main Event changed every other day it seems.
Get ready, it’ll e a bumpy ride…
Cody Rhodes and Goldust vs. Ryback and Curtis Axel
You-Tube Kickoff Match
What SHOULD Happen: Seriously, why is this match happening? Has anyone been able to give a reason why? Also, why are Ryback and Axel still a team? They were Heyman guys, but he wants nothing to do with them anymore so….what exactly is going on here? Everyone and their mother is thinking that we will see the Rhodeseses Explodeseses, and it’s the right call. If we’re going to get a Wrestlemania match between these two, and I think that we SHOULD, it’s now or never to start the dissension. I don’t think that we’ll see the explosion here, but some miscommunication here followed by a few more mess ups in the coming weeks and we have a highlight of the undercard all set up and ready to go.
What WILL Happen: Rybaxxel should get the win, probably the propel them into a four-way match for the Tag Titles at Mania.
Langston vs. Jack Swagger
Intercontinental Title Match
What SHOULD Happen: Big E None Given has been pretty good about defending the title since winning it back in November. Sadly though, he hasn’t been too great about being involved in a feud. I don’t understand why they couldn’t have turned Fandango, Sandow, or anyone really, into a legit contender who got a couple of cracks at the big guy. Nonetheless, this match should be fun and spirited between two big guys who can flat out go in the ring. I’m a little confused about how the Real Americans split is going to go. It seems like they are setting up a Swagger face turn, but that doesn’t make any sense at all. Cesaro is the one getting over as the face and Swagger is just so damn unlikable I don’t see it working. I imagine we’ll see Swagger try to regain his form by taking his aggression out on Cesaro. It’s just a question of when that will happen. I don’t see those two getting any space to have a match on the Wrestlemania Card, but it could be a great thing to happen once all the part-timers leave, and it would be a nice addition to Extreme Rules. Oh right this match, Big E retains in a pretty fun match. Coulter slaps Swagger a bit post-match.
What WILL Happen: Probably exactly what I said…
Darren Young vs. Titus O’Neil
What SHOULD Happen: I don’t about all of you, but I’m pretty impressed that we’re actually getting a match between these two at a Pay-Per-View. Anyone else remember Brodus Clay and Tensai? Because I think that the WWE doesn’t. O’Neil is the clear pet project here. As much as Young got some good publicity for coming out, I think that the company sees dollar signs in O’Neil. I think he’s going to get the W and maybe even find himself on the Wrestlemania Card in one of the multi-man matches. I don’t see the company releasing Young anytime soon, so hopefully they can find him a new tag team partner, maybe Mark Henry, Tyson Kidd, Zach Ryder or someone from NXT.
What WILL Happen: I really don’t see O’Neil losing here.
Impromptu Match/Segment #1
What SHOULD Happen: Bray Wyatt sings more gospel songs and says that once The Shield are gone he will move “on to the next phase” What WILL Happen: Yeah, this will definitely happen at some point…
The Shield vs. The Wyatt Family
What SHOULD Happen: I really wish that this was happening either at Wrestlemania, or inside The Elimination Chamber. But alas, beggars can’t be chosers, and I’m just thrilled that we’ll actually get to see this match. The WWE does a great job with six-man tag matches, and both of these teams have really delivered fun, frantic matches over the past year. There’s no question that the company wants the Wyatts to look strong going forward, and for Roman Reigns to be a huge star. It really seems like we will see Ambrose take the fall after a very competitive match, somehow Reigns will get blamed and The Shield will explode soon after that. It’s obvious, but it’s damn effective. Let’s make that happen!
What WILL Happen: Pretty much the same, but I’m worried we may see the actual explosion tonight. Save it for later people, please!
Match #4 The New Age Outlaws vs. The Usos
Tag Team Title Match
What SHOULD Happen: Man, it wasn’t that long ago that we were amazed at the depth of the Tag Team Division, but we’ve seen break-ups of Tons of Funk and The Prime Time Players, and we will most certainly see splits coming for The Real Americans, The Rhodes Brothers, and The Shield. If some new teams don’t form, we may see this matchup play out several dozen times in the coming months. The Usos have to win here, The Outlaws are WAYYYYYY too old to be holding these titles and really don’t have a place in the company in 2014. Nonetheless, they are a decent choice to be transitional champions, although The Real Americans would have been better. Usos win, clean as a whistle. And right after their match The Miz and Dolph Ziggler come down and beat the two up. They take the mics and say that they are both former world champions but can’t get booked. Yet somehow these two nobody are on RAW every week. I read that they want to team them up as a team of “Angry Men”, what a better way to get that started then here?
What WILL Happen: I have a bad feeling that we’ll see the NAO retain to save up The Usos big win until Wrestlemania.
Batista vs. Alberto Del Rio
What SHOULD Happen: This has been one of the strangest “Main Event” matches in recent memory. When on earth has Del Rio ever looked good in this feud? Batista has consistently crushed Del Rio, even pushing him while he was wearing a neck brace.
Let’s have Del Rio surprise Batista and control some of the offence. However, a ref bump later, Del Rio grabs a chair and starts levelling Batista with it. When he lifts the chair up high, down runs Rey Mysterio (or hobbles more like it…), he grabs the chair from Del Rio, which allows Batista to get up, hit the Demon Bomb and get the win. Everyone looks great, and we set up a Del Rio-Rey match at Mania, hopefully with a Mask vs. Hair stipulation.
What WILL Happen: Batista will absolutely destroy Del Rio, and it will mean absolutely nothing.
Impromptu Match/Segment #2
What SHOULD Happen: Kane comes to the ring and says that we have time for one more match, an says that it’s a match over a year in the making, it’ll be him vs. Daniel Bryan, if Bryan doesn’t come down he will have to forfeit his spot in the Chamber.
Bryan comes down, they have a short match but once Bryan gets the upper hand Kane grabs a chair and starts to nail Bryan getting DQed. He eventually chokeslams him through the table and tells him that he’s going to start the Elimination Chamber.
What WILL Happen: Fandango and Summer Rae vs. Santino and Emma round a zillion. Hopefully Emma gets to look good in the process.
Randy Orton vs. Daniel Bryan vs. John Cena vs. Sheamus vs. Cesaro vs. Christian Elimination Chamber Match for the WWE World Heavyweight Title
What SHOULD Happen: Are they finally going to do it? Will we really see them finally put the belt on Bryan here? Have they learned their lesson? I honestly think that the answer to all of these is no, and for those first two things, that’s not so bad. Bryan should finally get his win at Wrestlemania and while it should be a one-on-one match, the fact remains that the WWE moronically had Batista win the Rumble so here we are. When I first read about the Orton-Batista-Bryan triple threat rumour I didn’t like it, but it’s grown on me a bit. You have two Machine Made stars, and one Fan Made star disrupting what it’s “supposed” to be. Plus, the match would be a hell of a lot more entertaining, especially with Bryan being so great at selling their offense. So how do we get there? It’s pretty easy. We know that Bryan is starting things out so let’s have Cesaro be in there with him. He throws Bryan around but Captain Beardo keeps kicking out. After a few minutes, out waltzes Cena as the third guy in. He comes in like a house o’ fire for a few minutes, but before person #4 can enter the lights go out. When they come back The Wyatt Family are in the ring. They beat down Cena, which leaves the announcers really confused. A host of agents come down and finally take them out. Cesaro then goes over and hits Cena with the Neutraizer and pins him. Yup, Cena is the first one eliminated. Christian is the next out, followed by Sheamus. Let’s have Sheamus Brogue Kick Christian out of the match before Orton comes in in the 6 spot. Despite everyone’s best efforts, Bryan won’t stay down and eventually gets a roll-up pin on Sheamus, and knees Cesaro in the face eliminating him. It’s down to Orton and Bryan. A second rope DDT on the grate still won’t keep Bryan down so Kane comes down and slip a pipe through the cage to Orton and he hits Bryan with it a bunch of times to score the win. The next night on Raw, we see Hogan comes out and he sets up something like Bryan-Orton in the Main Event and Bryan wins to make it a triple threat match. Also somehow or another, we get Triple H upset about that and he challenges Hogan to a match but since the Hulkster is too old he gets Sheamus to represent him at Mania, ta da two big matches set up, well three if you count Wyatt-Cena. What SHOULD Happen: I don’t think that we’ll see Bryan get the title here or at Mania. The ‘E really seems to want to do Orton-Batista, eight years too late. I think that Bryan will get screwed out of the title but it’ll set up Triple H-Bryan at Mania, which may even go last. So all in all that SHOULD set up the following Mania Card (more detailed post about that to follow…)
- WWE Title Match: Orton vs. Batista vs. Daniel Bryan
- John Cena vs. Bray Wyatt
- Sheamus (w/ Hogan) vs. Triple H (w/ The Authority)
- The Undertaker vs. Brock Lesnar
- Goldust vs. Cody
- Rey vs. Del Rio: Mask vs. Hair
- IC/US Title Unification Ladder Match: Big E vs. Ambrose vs. Reigns vs. Rollins vs. Kane vs. Kingston vs. O’Neil vs. Christian
- Tag Title Elimination Match: The Usos vs. The Real Americans vs. Ziggler and The Miz vs. Big Show and Mark Henry
- AJ Lee vs. Emma